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  1. #1
    Robbin Gowen Guest
    is it law in arkansas that if a couple gets divorce and a minor child is in mothers custody that the divorce decree must state that no party from the opposite sex may stay over nite with parent while minor child is in the parents home?
  2. #2
    Ambr is offline Senior Member
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    it's law if its in the divorce decree.

    more and more people have been talking about the "no live in" clause. it is basically to protect the children from BF / GF being brought in and out of the life of the child. kids tend to get attached quick.

    and some people put it in the clause to be able to assert a little power over the ex, on who can and can not be around the child. it is okay for casually dating, but once one of the parents moves into a serious one on one, it could get difficult. a relationship can not really develop without involvement of the kids. I mean, how the kids respond to the person is a big one. so bringing the BF /GF around is one thing, over night visits with the kids present is another.
  3. #3
    stacyg2 is offline Member
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    Amber, what if the parents where never married? Is it still illegal to have a person of the opposite sex spend the night? I have a man friend(and just a friend!) sleeping on my couch for a few days, his wife kicked him out. And this is just till his new apartment is ready. Could my son's father use this against me? I'm in RI
  4. #4
    Ambr is offline Senior Member
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    maybe i should have worded that different. if it is in the decree it is as good as law.

    it's not against the law to have someone spend the night. it can be a question of morals - and they could question you bringing people in and out of the lives of the children. stability is a big one.

    in the posters case, it is in her divorce decree that she is not to have people of the opposite sex around the children. it's not smart to violate a decree - it tends to tick the judges off. it is also a violation of the decree and they can file contempt charges on it.

    does your decree limit you in anyway from having over night visitors?


  5. #5
    stacyg2 is offline Member
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    We don't have anything on any of our paperwork, many times back to court, that say anything about that. But this is the first time I have ever had anyone spend the night. I keep my personal life and my son completely apart. I just don't need him to throw this in my face later down the road.
  6. #6
    Ambr is offline Senior Member
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    there is always the possibility that he could throw it at you. (silly question coming up) is he vindictive like that? i mean, it would be one of those - he couldn't really prove it, but they guy did stay there. but you really couldn't prove that nothing didn't happen either.

    alot would be with the age of the child. is he old enough to know that your friend is just staying over until the apartment is ready? or is he younger? will the wife who kicked him out cause you any problems? will there be fighting and any "scenes" in your home in front of the child? you are getting into the middle of a domestic situation - you can't really tell what it would be like. they are liable to fight, argue, carry on. how much do you want your child to see. do you want to take the chance that it won't happen.

    my lawyers favorite quote - "if it looks like it could hurt you in ANY way, don't do it."

    if you think your ex will throw it up at you, your friend should understand if you have to back out on your offer.
  7. #7
    stacyg2 is offline Member
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    Yes he prob. would throw it in my face. My son is 4, I have told him some what of what is going on, that my friend(that my son knows, and has a great friendship with also) will be staying over but for only a few nights. His wife is not a problem, she wants nothing to do with him so I don't have to worry about fights or the arguements. She found another man to be with and now she's happy living with him, that is way he's homeless.
  8. #8
    Ambr is offline Senior Member
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    it's your call. no one one this board can tell you what is best for your child.

    the live in clause that we were talking about was more for relationships. mom is dating a new guy and he starts staying over nights and then moves in, then they break up and she starts dating someone new and he starts staying over night and eventually moves in. that type of relationship. bringing people in and out of the life of the child can be hard. kids get VERY attached.

    there is always every possibility that if your ex was to try and make anything out of it, that it could be explained that it was very temporary on 2-3 days in length. that he was coming out of a bad relationship and his apartment was needs ready until such and such day. the minute it was ready, he left. your son knows him and it wasn't awkward. it was mom helping a friend. teaching the child compassion and understanding.

    you are the only one who knows if the ex would make anything out of it and how much. you would always have the friend that would be able to explain the situation. as long as it is platonic you could be okay.

    i have one of those really good ex's, who has pulled every punch imaginable. i tend to be over cautious sometimes.

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