Divorce Custody Hearing Against Ex w/ Borderline Personality Disorder

[NeedAdvice9999]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana.

I am in the process of getting divorced and we have a 1 yr. old daughter. We were married fairly recently and soon after my husbands behavior started changing rapidly. He has always been impulsive and reckless with money, but started to suddenly not care that he was wasting our small amount of savings away and not bringing in enough money to raise our daughter and pay bills even. Then he started accusing me of infidelity, which is not surprising because he always questioned if he was the father of our child (100% sure he is.) He started emotionally abusing me the last few months and would get hostile and yell in front our our child numerous times which started effecting our daughter so I had no choice but to move back home with my parents who live in the same state. Now he is making false allegations that my father is sexually abusing our child and has been sending harrassing texts to me and my family since then. He has not once accepted any offers to see our daughter but is now fighting for custody. He was always negligent in taking care of our daughter since she was a newborn and does not even know her sleep or eating schedules still. He has turned into a very malicious person and has even said he wants to only take what I have. He has never been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder but I have been doing research on this and discovered it describes him to a T. We tried seeing a marriage counselor but he would turn into a completely different person in the sessions and would deny all of this and then stopped going. What can I do to help win full custody of our child. I am afraid he will use our daughter against me and maybe even harm her to get to me.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana.

I am in the process of getting divorced and we have a 1 yr. old daughter. We were married fairly recently and soon after my husbands behavior started changing rapidly. He has always been impulsive and reckless with money, but started to suddenly not care that he was wasting our small amount of savings away and not bringing in enough money to raise our daughter and pay bills even. Then he started accusing me of infidelity, which is not surprising because he always questioned if he was the father of our child (100% sure he is.) He started emotionally abusing me the last few months and would get hostile and yell in front our our child numerous times which started effecting our daughter so I had no choice but to move back home with my parents who live in the same state. Now he is making false allegations that my father is sexually abusing our child and has been sending harrassing texts to me and my family since then. He has not once accepted any offers to see our daughter but is now fighting for custody. He was always negligent in taking care of our daughter since she was a newborn and does not even know her sleep or eating schedules still. He has turned into a very malicious person and has even said he wants to only take what I have. He has never been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder but I have been doing research on this and discovered it describes him to a T. We tried seeing a marriage counselor but he would turn into a completely different person in the sessions and would deny all of this and then stopped going. What can I do to help win full custody of our child. I am afraid he will use our daughter against me and maybe even harm her to get to me.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I think that you are going to need an attorney. I don't believe that this is a case you should try to handle without one.

 

[gr8rn]

Do not use any labels or diagnosis' on him based on what you have read. It is not going to strengthen your case here or in court to diagnose him without the proper licensure.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Once you say "I do", the campaigning is over. Then you find out who you married. He is the same person you dated, married and had a child with. Trying to take away his right to see his child now, for these personality traits, will not delude the judge either.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana.

I am in the process of getting divorced and we have a 1 yr. old daughter. We were married fairly recently and soon after my husbands behavior started changing rapidly. He has always been impulsive and reckless with money, but started to suddenly not care that he was wasting our small amount of savings away and not bringing in enough money to raise our daughter and pay bills even. Then he started accusing me of infidelity, which is not surprising because he always questioned if he was the father of our child (100% sure he is.) He started emotionally abusing me the last few months and would get hostile and yell in front our our child numerous times which started effecting our daughter so I had no choice but to move back home with my parents who live in the same state. Now he is making false allegations that my father is sexually abusing our child and has been sending harrassing texts to me and my family since then. He has not once accepted any offers to see our daughter but is now fighting for custody. He was always negligent in taking care of our daughter since she was a newborn and does not even know her sleep or eating schedules still. He has turned into a very malicious person and has even said he wants to only take what I have. He has never been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder but I have been doing research on this and discovered it describes him to a T. We tried seeing a marriage counselor but he would turn into a completely different person in the sessions and would deny all of this and then stopped going. What can I do to help win full custody of our child. I am afraid he will use our daughter against me and maybe even harm her to get to me.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Your case is not significantly different than millions of others.

You want a divorce. Here are the rules:
Indiana Divorce Source: State Divorce Laws: Indiana
Follow the rules and file for divorce.

You want custody. Here are the rules:
Child Custody Laws Indiana - Indiana Child Custody Laws

Ultimately, it comes down to your ability to prove that giving primary custody to you is in the child's best interests after considering the factors in the above link.

Once custody is determined, visitation will be determined. Unless you can prove that stbx is a danger to the child or otherwise unfit, NCP will probably get standard visitation - or something close to it. Standard guidelines are here:
Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines

Then you can ask for child support. Guidelines are here:
Indiana Child Support Calculator

If you can handle all of that on your own, then it can be done without an attorney, but I advise against it unless you and stbx are in 100% agreement on everything.