Divorcing a drug addict with a child.

[tat12]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KY

I'm divorcing my husband. We have a child younger than two. He has been diagnosed as being addicted to narcotics. He has PTSD and is heavily medicated from the VA. They have been giving him valium regularily for three years. He's addicted. He's a past addict who kicked the habit however with the VA giving him valium he's fallen off the wagon. I can't help him. He doesn't seem to want to help himself. Other than the valium he's on a lot of other strong meds that are all downers. He falls asleep in his food and can't hardly walk most of the time. I've caught him falling asleep when our son is running around the house and doing other "stupid" things that could put his safety in jeopardy.

He's a good dad if he wasn't so medicated but he is who he is. So...when I go to talk about custody in court can I bring this issue up? I want him to seek treatment. I'm hoping that the Judge might require him to actively be in narconon or some other treatment if he's going to see his son. If he's not in treatment and showing progress..he's not to see his son alone. He will have to be supervised. Do any of you have experience dealing with this issue? Am I asking too much? Any suggestions?

[ConcerndStepmom]

Originally Posted by tat12

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KY

I'm divorcing my husband. We have a child younger than two. He has been diagnosed as being addicted to narcotics. He has PTSD and is heavily medicated from the VA. They have been giving him valium regularily for three years. He's addicted. He's a past addict who kicked the habit however with the VA giving him valium he's fallen off the wagon. I can't help him. He doesn't seem to want to help himself. Other than the valium he's on a lot of other strong meds that are all downers. He falls asleep in his food and can't hardly walk most of the time. I've caught him falling asleep when our son is running around the house and doing other "stupid" things that could put his safety in jeopardy.

He's a good dad if he wasn't so medicated but he is who he is. So...when I go to talk about custody in court can I bring this issue up? I want him to seek treatment. I'm hoping that the Judge might require him to actively be in narconon or some other treatment if he's going to see his son. If he's not in treatment and showing progress..he's not to see his son alone. He will have to be supervised. Do any of you have experience dealing with this issue? Am I asking too much? Any suggestions?

So he has been like this for three years and you have a child way younger than three? Obviously you didn't have a problem with it prior to making a baby with him. But now all of a sudden it is a problem? <shakeshead> As for the rest you will have to prove it. Other than that Dad will have rights to his child if he so chooses.

[las365]

So he has been like this for three years and you have a child way younger than three? Obviously you didn't have a problem with it prior to making a baby with him. But now all of a sudden it is a problem? <shakeshead>

Addiction is a progressive disease. Just because he has been taking valium for three years doesn't mean that he has been in the condition OP describes for all of that time.

OP has valid concerns and asked her question in an extremely reasonable way, in my opinion. She isn't bashing her husband, she's trying to find out how to make him get help and protect her kid.

OP, what is the status of your divorce proceedings? Do you have an attorney? Does your husband?

[MichaCA]

gOOD QUESTIONS, AND i WOULD DEF. HIRE AN ATTORNEY.

i WOULD ALSO BE CONCERNED ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF MEDICATION HE IS TAKING.

wHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "FALLING OF THE WAGON"?

iS HIS FALLING ASLEEP THE ONLY DIRECT CONSEQUENCE?

i HEAR YOUR CONCERN, HOWEVER, TRY TO PROVIDE MORE FACTUAL EVIDENCE OF HOW HIS MEDICATION INFLUENCES HIS PARENTING.pERSONALLY, i THINK YOUR IDEAS AS TO HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS ARE FAIR...HOWEVER i DO NOT HAVE THAT LEGAL KNOW HOW. yOU WILL NEED EVIDENCE. aLSO, i WOULD NOT NECESSARILY PROPOSE A SOLUTION THAT HAS TO DO WITH DAD GETTING BETTER, BUT STICK TO THE STATUS QUO - IT SOUNDS LIKE DAD IS ADDICTED BIG TIME. cONSIDER WHAT IS BEST now FOR THE CHILD...EX., SUPERVISED VSITS and DAD DO SOME TYPE OF DRUG CHECK-INS DURING THAT TIME...SURELY THERE IS A LIMIT TO HOW MANY DRUGS A PERSON CAN HAVE IN THEIR SYSTEM AND BE SAFE DRVING, SUPERVISING A CHILD, COOKING, ETC.

i WOULD TALK TO AN ATTORNEY, A GOOD ONE...WHO PERHAPS HAS KNOWLEDGE OF DRUG ADDICTION AND CUSTODY. eVEN IF JUST TO CONSULT FOR ONE HOUR.