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Do I have rights to my own children?

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nextwife

Senior Member
Oh, and... expect that, if the children ARE allowed to remain in FL, that you will be paying the bulk of the transportation for visitation. Which will likely include chunks of time at holidays, school breaks and summer.

So why DID you move?
Because MOMMY is in FL! If mommy were in Alaska, no doubt she'd have moved the kids to Alaska, never mind being somewhere that gives dad equal access to his kids. Mom could have simply moved out to her own place, which would have resolved the access issue. Is it right that you've made sure your kids will virtually never have dad at their games, plays, recitals, school open houses, whatever?

Why do you think it's fair to your kids to virtually remove dad from their lives, just because it's more financially convenient for you to live under your mom's roof? Kids need both parents in their daily lives,. and you could have avoided this problem by just getting your own place in the area you had been living.
 
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SWFLmommy

Junior Member
Oh, and... expect that, if the children ARE allowed to remain in FL, that you will be paying the bulk of the transportation for visitation. Which will likely include chunks of time at holidays, school breaks and summer.

So why DID you move?
I moved because he is an alcoholic, smokes marijuana constantly and is addicted to Benzos which has resulted in paranoid delusions.

I told him I wanted out, and asked for an amicable split. He'd offer certain terms one day then change them entirely the next. He was unreasonable and unwilling to come to a compromise. I also started to fear for my safety due to his mental state and drug use.
I came to FL because my mom lives here.
 

Momto1

Member
of course, any real father would have filed for legal visitation (or custody) the day after he discovered his children had been moved 1,500 miles away.
I know I would have. The Father of my children is trying to scare me with criminal charges and injunctions, not filing for custody.
And any real mother wouldn't move their (his children too) 1500 miles away from the other parent :rolleyes:

Either way Zephyr is correct and ditto what stealth said
 

Momto1

Member
I moved because he is an alcoholic, smokes marijuana constantly and is addicted to Benzos which has resulted in paranoid delusions.

I told him I wanted out, and asked for an amicable split. He'd offer certain terms one day then change them entirely the next. He was unreasonable and unwilling to come to a compromise. I also started to fear for my safety due to his mental state and drug use.
I came to FL because my mom lives here.
How long has he been an alcoholic and addicted to Benzos? And how old are the children? He may be a horrible boyfriend for you, but that doesn't make him a horrible father and give you the right to up and take his children across country.
Why do you fear for your safety? And why couldn't you amicablly split and stay in the same town? How about supporting your children on your own instead of depending on your mother to?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
The legal reality is that NE is currently the home state and you removed the child from the jurisdiction without permission of the courts or dad. That puts you legally in the wrong and dad could ask for the child to be ordered returned to the state even if he only files for visitation and not custody. Maybe he wants to see the child every other weekend instead of just a few times a year. Maybe he wants to be able to participate in the child's school and activities. You have removed his ability to be a part of kiddo's daily life and a judge will NOT look too kindly on that.
I am sorry, but that is not correct. She isn't legally in the wrong about anything. She had every right to relocate and take her children with her, because there were no court orders. In fact, she has custody by default because its an unwed situation.

Therefore, dad would have to file for custody to attempt to convince a judge to order mom to return the children to the original home state. Its not guaranteed that the judge would make such order, particularly after the children have been settled in the new state for 3 months. However, its not guaranteed that the judge would not make such order either, because the children have not been located in the other state for at least six months.
 
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SWFLmommy

Junior Member
How long has he been an alcoholic and addicted to Benzos? And how old are the children? He may be a horrible boyfriend for you, but that doesn't make him a horrible father and give you the right to up and take his children across country.
Why do you fear for your safety? And why couldn't you amicablly split and stay in the same town? How about supporting your children on your own instead of depending on your mother to?
Mostly I needed my mothers help with childcare so I could work. I am sure that many of you know the cost of childcare can be equal to earnings. He has been an alcoholic on and off his whole life. He had a good phase, had a good job and wasnt drinking much then he was terminated for sexual harassement and started drinking a case of beer a night, taking up to 3mg xanax a day and smoking marijana on a constant basis. He wasnt that horrible to me, I just didnt feel that living with a drug addict and a drunk was best or my kids. I caught him smacking my 18 month old a few times and he basically wanted the kids to stay away from him, out of his space and away from his stuff. we were all on eggshells with him all the time.

And, my mother doesnt support me. I pay half the bills, she just assists with childcare.
 

Momto1

Member
Mostly I needed my mothers help with childcare so I could work. I am sure that many of you know the cost of childcare can be equal to earnings. He has been an alcoholic on and off his whole life. He had a good phase, had a good job and wasnt drinking much then he was terminated for sexual harassement and started drinking a case of beer a night, taking up to 3mg xanax a day and smoking marijana on a constant basis. He wasnt that horrible to me, I just didnt feel that living with a drug addict and a drunk was best or my kids. I caught him smacking my 18 month old a few times and he basically wanted the kids to stay away from him, out of his space and away from his stuff. we were all on eggshells with him all the time.

And, my mother doesnt support me. I pay half the bills, she just assists with childcare.
My point in asking was answered in your response. If he has been an alocoholic all of his life then why did you choose to have not one but two children with him?

And yet he wasn't good enough for your kids but he is half your children regardless of how you feel about him. As far as your mother not supporting you, if you aren't paying for everything on your own then she is assisting you with support and therefore you CANNOT support you and children without help. And it would appear as though dad ws supporting not onlyhis children but you as well, so he wasn't to bad.
 

SWFLmommy

Junior Member
My point in asking was answered in your response. If he has been an alocoholic all of his life then why did you choose to have not one but two children with him?

And yet he wasn't good enough for your kids but he is half your children regardless of how you feel about him. As far as your mother not supporting you, if you aren't paying for everything on your own then she is assisting you with support and therefore you CANNOT support you and children without help. And it would appear as though dad ws supporting not onlyhis children but you as well, so he wasn't to bad.
If you're so fond of him maybe you should go live with him.
 

formerNCM

Member
My point in asking was answered in your response. If he has been an alocoholic all of his life then why did you choose to have not one but two children with him?

And yet he wasn't good enough for your kids but he is half your children regardless of how you feel about him. As far as your mother not supporting you, if you aren't paying for everything on your own then she is assisting you with support and therefore you CANNOT support you and children without help. And it would appear as though dad ws supporting not onlyhis children but you as well, so he wasn't to bad.
So, your point is...?

A. OP should stay with him because he can help pay the bills.

B. It's wrong to move near your family so that you can have some help to get back on your feet after a divorce/split? So much more empowering to take government support!!!:rolleyes:

C. It's not okay to get a divorce/leave a relationship unless you're self-sufficient.

D. A dad who pays the bills is a GOOD dad - even if he's a drug addicted alcoholic and should have unrestricted access to those children even though he abused them (when a parent starts abusing babies, it generally goes downhill from there) and she wasn't in a position to get help.

I could go through the entire alphabet here, but what I'm really trying to say is that your post has no place here.

Yes, she can move away. Divorced parents do it all the time - since you have to take OP's word in this case, based on what she's said, it sounds like it might have been the right thing. Sure, if she had been in a better place she could have found a more... elegant (?)... way to go about it. But, it sounds like the children are well taken care of. If daddy dearest cleans up his act and WANTS to have a relationship, OP sounds like she'd welcome it.

Why don't you get off your high horse before you fall off, hmm?
 
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Proserpina

Senior Member
So, your point is...?

A. OP should stay with him because he can help pay the bills.

B. It's wrong to move near your family so that you can have some help to get back on your feet after a divorce/split? So much more empowering to take government support!!!:rolleyes:

C. It's not okay to get a divorce/leave a relationship unless you're self-sufficient.

D. A dad who pays the bills is a GOOD dad - even if he's a drug addicted alcoholic and should have unrestricted access to those children even though he abused them (when a parent starts abusing babies, it generally goes downhill from there) and she wasn't in a position to get help.

I could go through the entire alphabet here, but what I'm really trying to say is that your post has no place here.

Yes, she can move away. Divorced parents do it all the time - since you have to take OP's word in this case, based on what she's said, it sounds like it might have been the right thing. Sure, if she had been in a better place she could have found a more... elegant (?)... way to go about it. But, it sounds like the children are well taken care of. If daddy dearest cleans up his act and WANTS to have a relationship, OP sounds like she'd welcome it.

Why don't you get off your high horse before you fall off, hmm?



Careful.

Divorced parents do it all the time, sure - and some of them end up becoming the NCP because they failed to follow the proper procedures.

With that said...OP was not married. So it's moot.

LdiJ is correct.
 

formerNCM

Member
Careful.

Divorced parents do it all the time, sure - and some of them end up becoming the NCP because they failed to follow the proper procedures.

With that said...OP was not married. So it's moot.

LdiJ is correct.
It sounds to me like OP is looking to do things as legally as possible. However, I do find it ironic that the comment I commented on is posted by someone who turns to her own family for help with childcare.

Tad hypocritical, IMO.
 
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