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Do I have rights to my own children?

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Momto1

Member
Not bitter at all. I do however take issue with women who play the victim card and state that they are "protecting" their children when they are protecting form their (the mother's) mistakes. I lived with and alcoholic abusive husband. When I finally got the nerve up to leave I made sure I had done my homework and did it correctly because I would not loose my child in the process because I was ignorant of the law.

She left a man who was supporting her to move where she could be supported by someone else. How about get a job and support your children and facilitate a relationship with the man SHE choose to be their father :rolleyes:
 


formerNCM

Member
So, your point is...?

A. OP should stay with him because he can help pay the bills.

B. It's wrong to move near your family so that you can have some help to get back on your feet after a divorce/split? So much more empowering to take government support!!!:rolleyes:

C. It's not okay to get a divorce/leave a relationship unless you're self-sufficient.

D. A dad who pays the bills is a GOOD dad - even if he's a drug addicted alcoholic and should have unrestricted access to those children even though he abused them (when a parent starts abusing babies, it generally goes downhill from there) and she wasn't in a position to get help.

I could go through the entire alphabet here, but what I'm really trying to say is that your post has no place here.

Yes, she can move away. Divorced parents do it all the time - since you have to take OP's word in this case, based on what she's said, it sounds like it might have been the right thing. Sure, if she had been in a better place she could have found a more... elegant (?)... way to go about it. But, it sounds like the children are well taken care of. If daddy dearest cleans up his act and WANTS to have a relationship, OP sounds like she'd welcome it.

Why don't you get off your high horse before you fall off, hmm?
You're so keen on indicting this woman it's frightening.

Also, to quote: If you're so fond of him maybe you should go live with him.
 

formerNCM

Member
Not bitter at all. I do however take issue with women who play the victim card and state that they are "protecting" their children when they are protecting form their (the mother's) mistakes. I lived with and alcoholic abusive husband. When I finally got the nerve up to leave I made sure I had done my homework and did it correctly because I would not loose my child in the process because I was ignorant of the law.

Good for you! She, and many others in that position had to get out to think clearly. Doesn't mean she's evil.

She left a man who was supporting her to move where she could be supported by someone else. How about get a job and support your children and facilitate a relationship with the man SHE choose to be their father :rolleyes:
She's attempting to do just that.
 

Momto1

Member
She's attempting to do just that.
By up and leaving while he was at work and moving HIS children 1500 miles away :rolleyes: Please excuses. And she says now her son is in a good education program, was his education not a priority before and now she is using the argument that she doesn't want to "jerk him up" when that was exactly what she did when she left. Oh that's right because it was convenient for OP.
 

formerNCM

Member
By up and leaving while he was at work and moving HIS children 1500 miles away :rolleyes: Please excuses. And she says now her son is in a good education program, was his education not a priority before and now she is using the argument that she doesn't want to "jerk him up" when that was exactly what she did when she left. Oh that's right because it was convenient for OP.
Did anybody see the eclipse the other night? It was too cloudy here...
 

Momto1

Member
You're so keen on indicting this woman it's frightening.

Also, to quote: If you're so fond of him maybe you should go live with him.
No what I am saying is, SHE choose him as the the children's father. She said he had these problems all of his life and STILL choose to have children with him.
As for the becoming self sufficient before moving out, maybe she should have been doing that to some extent all along. She was relying on a boyfriend not husband for her and her husband to survive. What if he had just up and left? It's just poor planning on her part. And now that poor planning has caused her to jerk up her children move away from their father and be dependent on her mother.
She was in a relationship where he wasn't physically abusive, maybe verbally and emotionally controlling, but she knew this 6 months ago why not start getting her ducks in a row then.
She obviously saw where he smacked the children because they stained the carpet and did nothing, stayed with the man who smacked her children and did nothing. Why? She says she didn't think it was considered abuse but of course now wants to bring it up as if he abused them :confused: You can't have it both ways.
 

gam

Senior Member
You missed my point. Years of unreported abuse I suffered. I didn't even really believe I was abused until after my child was born. It took a long, long time to get even supervised visitation because I didn't report abuse to me (not my son). It is probably the biggest regret of my life. I would probably have never left until the first hint of abuse to my son. It wasn't clear headed, it was simply a matter of fighting for my son (and for myself to take care of my son). You are not the only victim. So are your children. You wear multiple hats here including Mom as well as victim. Abused or not, you still have to protect your children if they are abused (i.e. victims) even if you have the same abuser.
Originally Posted by Momto1
Not bitter at all. I do however take issue with women who play the victim card and state that they are "protecting" their children when they are protecting form their (the mother's) mistakes. I lived with and alcoholic abusive husband. When I finally got the nerve up to leave I made sure I had done my homework and did it correctly because I would not loose my child in the process because I was ignorant of the law.
2 pieces of excellent legal advice for anyone trying to leave an abusive situation.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I didnt buy any furniture because he forced me to sign my check over to him as soon as it arrived. Another method of control.

I dont consider slapping the kids on the hand 'child abuse' it just makes him an Ahole.
actually choices you made. And you are a child abuser -- convicted. If slapping a child's hand makes him an Ahole what are you for beating a child until he bruises? Oh.... would you like to go down that road?
 
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