Doctor order vs Court order

[KeepLearning]

Seems like you went into this pregnancy "blind." No friends to depend on, no bf or friend to drive your other child, just an ex and a court order you must follow.

Unplanned pregnancy. Birth control fail. It is boyfriends first. He will not be willing to forgo being at the birth of his child, and again: I won't ask him to.

My daughter is my and my ex's responsibility. Not everyone else around me. They didn't decide to have the child, that was my and my ex's choice and therefore our responsibility. It is not on the people around me to take care of MY child (my I the sense that it is not theirs. It is my and my exs)

 

[KeepLearning]

Do you think a judge won't ding you for not even making other arrangements? I disagree.

So the consequence would most likely be?

(I have not otherwise missed an exchange)

 

[stealth2]

Even riding in a taxi or Uber when close to labor or in labor, would not be safe. What would the consequences be?

So how will you get to the hospital?

And what about family? They won't help, either?

 

[KeepLearning]

If dad really wants to push this then you may end up in court over it. Whether or not dad is successful in a contempt action doesn't mean you won't have to defend yourself. Where do you expect your child(ren) to be while you're dealing with court?

Finding someone to watch her is considerably easier than finding someone willing to spend several hours in a car. In what they would see as making my ex's life convenient.

Actually, my boyfriend would more than likely even be able to do that as it would not entail potentially missing the birth of his child.

 

[KeepLearning]

So how will you get to the hospital?

And what about family? They won't help, either?

Boyfriend.

No my family will not take her to my ex.

 

[KeepLearning]

So how will you get to the hospital?

And what about family? They won't help, either?

My family hopes he drops out of her life. They will not help "make his life easier." They get upset at me when I do anything to encourage his participation in child's life. Which does happen. I recognize she needs her father. My family, not so much.

 

[Zigner]

My family hopes he drops out of her life. They will not help "make his life easier." They get upset at me when I do anything to encourage his participation in child's life. Which does happen. I recognize she needs her father. My family, not so much.

I feel for you. You have options beyond family and friends, I hope you find one that works.

 

[eerelations]

What a time-waster this entire conversation has been for the expert volunteers here! If the OP had had the good sense to simply ask her ex about this before coming on here, she probably wouldn't have had to come here at all!

 

[Zigner]

What a time-waster this entire conversation has been for the expert volunteers here! If the OP had had the good sense to simply ask her ex about this before coming on here, she probably wouldn't have had to come here at all!

Excellent point.

 

[not2cleverRed]

My family hopes he drops out of her life. They will not help "make his life easier." They get upset at me when I do anything to encourage his participation in child's life. Which does happen. I recognize she needs her father. My family, not so much.

So... they'd rather make your life more difficult? How about they help "make your life easier"... because helping you abide by the court order is helping you stay out of trouble.

Also, although your daughter is not the current BF's responsibility, part of taking care of his baby is taking care of you - making sure that you don't have to worry about transportation.

And what if something shows up in a test... and you are put on bedrest for the rest of your pregnancy? Or you have an emergency C-section?

 

[CTU]

No. Not yet. I don't go into situations blind. I like to know my legal standing before and have my head in the game prior to discussing things with the father. It helps in my "business transaction" mindset. It's easier to coparent when we are both logical.

How lovely.

 

[KeepLearning]

So... they'd rather make your life more difficult? How about they help "make your life easier"... because helping you abide by the court order is helping you stay out of trouble.

Also, although your daughter is not the current BF's responsibility, part of taking care of his baby is taking care of you - making sure that you don't have to worry about transportation.

And what if something shows up in a test... and you are put on bedrest for the rest of your pregnancy? Or you have an emergency C-section?

They would rather make HIS life more difficult. They got mad cuz I talked him into using his thanksgiving time with her (he ended up canceling so the point was moot), but yes. If he doesn't get her, they consider it a win. They don't think logically.

Plus, they had problems with him when we were married. Given the events of the divorce, he migh5 as well be public enemy number 1. I've accepted it. I do what I can for my child's sake.

If I'm put on be dress, he'll be there for me. But he will not give up being at the birth of his child and I won't ask him to. That includes a c section.

Birth of child: happens once in the lifetime of a child. Birth of his first child is once in his lifetime event. Visitation with father: happens every other weekend.

My bf transporting instead of being at his child's birth is not happening. Besides: I've read other posts on here where step parents make posts. It is quite clear where they stand: legal stranger. Child is none of their business. It's a bit hypocritical to request a person to forgo being at the birth of their biological and legal child in order to play taxi for a "legal stranger". Don't you think?

 

[KeepLearning]

How lovely.

What makes for a better coparenting relationship: logic or emotion? Emotional arguments get ugly fast.

 

[CTU]

What makes for a better coparenting relationship: logic or emotion? Emotional arguments get ugly fast.

Neither, actually.

What makes for a better co-parenting relationship is both parents putting the child first and both parents being flexible when necessary.

End of story.

 

[stealth2]

Boyfriend.

You miss the point. You posted that it is dangerous to RIDE in the car when in labor - is b/f going to carry you piggyback?

No my family will not take her to my ex.

Then your family is pretty horrid. They would be less making it convenient for *him* than they would be helping *you* follow your court order and help their grandchild/niece see her father - the man *you* chose. It's vile that they won't help you.

My family despised my ex. But they willingly drove the kids to/from the airport (3 hrs r/t) or to pick them up from Dad's (12 hrs r/t) if there was a reason I couldn't. Because it was the right thing to do.