is Documentation needed when other parent doesn't take child for visitation?

[LilyMD]

What is the name of your state? Florida

My Husband's ex recently moved out of state and we were given full custody. She was supposed to have him for Christmas but moved it to January and now says that she probably won't take him at all. Also she is supposed to get him for te summer but says that she probably won't take him then either. Should this be documented to protect us and if so how?

 

[Neal1421]

You can document it if you want to, however she doesn't have to take the child if she doesn't want to. The visitation order is just to make sure that she can see her child if she chooses to.

 

[wrkngmom]

keeping your own documentation (notes, dates, times) of when she has access to the child but does not utilize it can only possibly help in the event that she tries to go for full custody in the future.

 

[LilyMD]

thank you both.

to wrkngmom: thanks I wasn't sure if it was needed or even a good idea your response was very helpful.

Do we just write down that she told us she could see him for her Christmas in January, and then she decided not to use her visitation?

And if she says that she can't take him for the summer do we just write that down as well or is there a proceedure?

 

[wrkngmom]

It's just you own personal notes to help you remember the dates of when the visitation did not occur. IF there were a dispute down the road, then these incidents MIGHT be helpful in proving that she isn't that interested in her parenting time. There would need to be numerous incidents documented for it to have any bearing (if any).

 

[proudstepmom]

Document everything like this that happens in case of future problems.

 

[LilyMD]

thanks to both of you again.

Besides the fact that he is not getting to see his mommy and that it is upsetting him, I am a little worried that she would say that we didn't let her see him not that she chose not to. She can be moody I guess you could say.

We will make sure to document all of it.

Thanks again.

 

[scaredandalone]

moms indifference is hurting her child

the only one who has full custody is your husband, you have absolutely nothing where this kid is concerned. your husband can go back to court to get the visitation modified to the actual times mom wants the child. i know this has to upset him, is he in counseling or anything? i know he must be feeling kind of rejected by his mom's lack of contact. i wish parent of divorce and break ups would stay invovled with their kids, and not stay away, the ones they are hurting are the kids.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Ignore Scaredandalone, she is the forum poster child.

So you are into therapy now, huh Kell?

 

[Zephyr]

Ignore Scaredandalone, she is the forum poster child.

So you are into therapy now, huh Kell?

she can't get therapy- they have circulated her pic and profile, and advise against contact

kind of like FBI's most wanted only

it's the Shrink's least wanted

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

she can't get therapy- they have circulated her pic and profile, and advise against contact

kind of like FBI's most wanted only

it's the Shrink's least wanted

What was I thinking? Any shrink would need a shrink after one visit with our little troll Kelly.

 

[LilyMD]

scaredandalone:

Why do people get upset when you love your stepchild?
I don't ask him to call me anything other than my name, I tell him he has the coolest mommy on the planet. (And I mean his mommy not me)
We are trying to find a therapist for him to help him deal with his mommy moving away and taking his older brother but not him. And I know that I am not important to you or anyone else when it comes to the custody and legal rights involved here, but I love my stepson very, very much and simply want him to health and happy. I am not trying to interfear that is why I am asking questions online not to her. I have no problem what so ever with her seeing him whenever, and I hope that one day she will want to, but until then I am curious as to the procedures involved.

 

[faithnlve]

I can answer your question as to why moms/dads get upset with steps. First of all you said "we" got custody. NO....your husband has custody, NOT you. parents catch these phrases very quickly. You can state you love your step child, and I believe you do, but it is still a different relationship and love all together. That child's parent is dealing with a high emotional loss from being seperated from "their" child. When a third party becomes involved with their childs life such as a new spouse, then that person tends to interfere. It doesn't even have to be hostile interference either, which is very common. It can be a form of trying to intervene, or help in that step's mind, or sticking up for their new spouse. As a step you need to "step" back, and stay out of it, unless the child is in danger. This child has nothing to do with you other than you being married to their parent, in which you agreed to accept mom/dad along with the two of you when you married into an already made family . Many step parents grow to love their spouses child. But it is still different. Moms and dads not only have a sense of loss, they have a protectiveness towards their child which is unconditional. So when there is strife or concerns with the child then let mom and dad work together on it. Steps have no right to those decisions. You and your new spouse can talk on your own time together on the issues, but it is between only the two parents who brought their child into the world to make all decisions no matter how minor. Little remarks, such as We got custody, even if in your mind you think you are trying to be helpful towards your spouse, is cutting in on the other parents territory and you are over stepping boundaries. Since you have no rights when both parents are still in the picture and making decisions "together" in regards to their child. Your boundaries are with your spouse only, the childs boundaries are only within the biological parents decisions. If more steps minded their own business, and let the parents work it out alone together, there would be less strife, stress, and happier kids. Heck, maybe the new spouse might just get along with "mom." Faith

 

[mytwinsandme]

I can answer your question as to why moms/dads get upset with steps. First of all you said "we" got custody. NO....your husband has custody, NOT you. parents catch these phrases very quickly. You can state you love your step child, and I believe you do, but it is still a different relationship and love all together. That child's parent is dealing with a high emotional loss from being seperated from "their" child. When a third party becomes involved with their childs life such as a new spouse, then that person tends to interfere. It doesn't even have to be hostile interference either, which is very common. It can be a form of trying to intervene, or help in that step's mind, or sticking up for their new spouse. As a step you need to "step" back, and stay out of it, unless the child is in danger. This child has nothing to do with you other than you being married to their parent, in which you agreed to accept mom/dad along with the two of you when you married into an already made family . Many step parents grow to love their spouses child. But it is still different. Moms and dads not only have a sense of loss, they have a protectiveness towards their child which is unconditional. So when there is strife or concerns with the child then let mom and dad work together on it. Steps have no right to those decisions. You and your new spouse can talk on your own time together on the issues, but it is between only the two parents who brought their child into the world to make all decisions no matter how minor. Little remarks, such as We got custody, even if in your mind you think you are trying to be helpful towards your spouse, is cutting in on the other parents territory and you are over stepping boundaries. Since you have no rights when both parents are still in the picture and making decisions "together" in regards to their child. Your boundaries are with your spouse only, the childs boundaries are only within the biological parents decisions. If more steps minded their own business, and let the parents work it out alone together, there would be less strife, stress, and happier kids. Heck, maybe the new spouse might just get along with "mom." Faith

Well Said.

 

[NotSoNew]

scaredandalone:

Why do people get upset when you love your stepchild?
I don't ask him to call me anything other than my name, I tell him he has the coolest mommy on the planet. (And I mean his mommy not me)
We are trying to find a therapist for him to help him deal with his mommy moving away and taking his older brother but not him. And I know that I am not important to you or anyone else when it comes to the custody and legal rights involved here, but I love my stepson very, very much and simply want him to health and happy. I am not trying to interfear that is why I am asking questions online not to her. I have no problem what so ever with her seeing him whenever, and I hope that one day she will want to, but until then I am curious as to the procedures involved.

i dont know but its quite bothersome, and if you dare to say anything negative or that might be percieved as negative you will be crucified also!