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Documented violations of Agreement

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B

Blackened

Guest
What is the name of your state? Illinois

Hello, this is my first time posting here.

I have been divorced for about 2 years now and I have been able to record a series of transgression by my ex-wife against our Agreement. Specifically, she is not informing me when she has her mother pick up our son from preschool, or drop him off, as well as having our son spend entire or partial weekends at her mother's place without informing me. I live about 1.5 hours away from her mother's house, and it was only after I discovered this practice myself that she finally fessed up to it, agreed to at least inform me of when it would occur, but then has not since then.

Additionally, our Agreement stipulates that we both must maintain a life insurance policy that she let go dormant in 11/02.

Am I able to get an Order from the court demanding that she inform me where my son is sleeping and who is taking care of him? Can I ask the court to make her spend time with our son? I have offered to change our current visitation arrangment (I have him one week, she has him the next, and so on), and she has so far refused to even respond to my offer.

I am very concerned that my son is not getting the attention from his mother that he deserves and needs. His behavior at school is suffering as a result.

Please reply or direct me to somewhere or someone who can help. The divorce itself put me $27k in debt and I simply have no money to pay for an attorney. I just need some answers and directions to which forms, and I will do the filing and document preparation.

Please help me.

Thank you.

Bill aka Blackened
 


K

kindnesscounts

Guest
can't answer everything, but-

I suggest, if not currently in your custody agreement, that you have something called "right of first refusal" added to it. That's where, if she can't be with the child during her time with him, you have to be offered the right to care for the child first, before g'ma, a sitter, etc. This isn't an unreasonable request-it simply shows the court you WANT to be with your child as much as possible. I do have to ask though, other than the fact that you feel she should be the one caring for your child, is there any reason the grandmother is unsuitable to pick up and drop off your son at daycare? I don't understand why that's an issue. However, spending all or even part of the weekend on a regular basis with G'ma rather than Mom I DO see as a problem-and that's where that "right of first refusal" comes in. You can't "force" her to spend time with your child, sorry. All you can do is be as available for your son as is possible.

As for where to get forms, etc--I've came across some places online, but don't have links for them here with me. Tray a google search for "free legal forms" or something similar. It IS possible. Best wishes to you : )
 

skyy

Member
- Unfortunately, no court in the world can make your ex love or want to spend quality time with your child.
- Unless your child is basically living somewhere else, it's a bit unrealistic to expect her to call you every single time she takes your child to her mother's house or ask her mother to pick up or drop off your son. It's her visitation time. If she chooses not to use it and allow someone else to spend time with him, that's her choice. Unless you have first right of refusal (when she can't watch him, she has to offer you the opportunity...at 1.5 hour distance kind of impractical), it won't carry much weight. It would be a problem if you call to talk to him or go to visit him, and she hides him from you. Otherwise, it may be seen as nitpicking, and courts won't want to deal with that.


What kind of custody agreement do you have?
- If you feel he's being emotionally neglected to the point it's affecting his schooling, did you ask for change in custody?
- Are you close enough that one week per parent will allow you to take him to his pre-school?
- If life insurance is supposed to be kept by both parties, I guess that could be contempt. But I've never had to deal with that, so I don't know what to tell you.

Father sites
http://www.deltabravo.net
http://www.dads4kids.com

Read up and follow the links
 

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