Ok, to simplify, he is calling our children from Rhode Island to Florida and recording these conversations. He is calling me from Rhode Island to Florida and recording these conversations as well. On the recorder was a conversation of him and his attorney talking about diminishing my alimony.
That is new information. Why didn't you mention it previously? The only points you felt important to mention initially were that you have reason to believe he is taping calls between you and the children, that he may be seeking a reduction or termination of your alimony, and that he may be seeking an order to split transportation costs.
ETA: Ah, now I get it. When you stated, "He has been recording phone conversations with my children and I for the past year", I interpreted that to mean that he was recording conversations between you and your children. You meant that he was recording his conversations with the children and also recording his conversations with you.
Clarity in writing is an asset when seeking legal advice on an internet forum.
As for our daughter finding the recorder. She initially was just playing around with it she says, and was very disturbed that her father would do something as to record their conversations. I will not give her a stern talk about listening to the recorder. The issue here is he is an adult, and should not be recording conversations without consent. Also if he was so concerned about his own privacy, he should not be leaving such a devise around so a minor could have access to it. Especially his own child. He is the one that needs the stern talking to. Our daughter does not need to be a part of it.
Certainly, your daughter should not be a part of your squabbles or legal battles with your ex. Neither should your ex be recording your children's phone calls with you, nor his phone calls with you without your consent. But his behavior is not the only issue here.
Your daughter is responsible for her own behavior, as her father is responsible for his. No one forced your daughter to listen to the recordings against her will. Nor to listen to them long enough to discern that her father was talking to a lawyer about the possibility of cutting off your alimony. Nor to return to you with that information. Your daughter chose to do so. Did she do so at
your urging?
Our daughter claims that the device was laying on a lamp table in the living room.
Of course she claims that. How many 16-year olds do you know who would readily admit it if they found the device in Dad's bedroom or office desk?
I am concerned for our children. This is the reason why I had posted this question. I do not want these children after three years to suffer any more from this divorce. It has taken a lot to get them back into the norm of things and I do not want them to be a part the hatred their father obviously has for me.
What hatred? Nothing you've stated up to this point demonstrates any hatred. If what dad is seeking is a reduction in your alimony and to split the transportation costs for visitation, how would that possibly involve the children? What is the rest of the story that you are leaving out?
There is no betrayal involved on this end.
I used the word "betrayal" in the sense of inadvertently revealing information one would rather conceal. In your conversations with the children, did you perhaps let it slip that you are cohabitating with someone? That you are planning to remarry? That your financial circumstances have dramatically improved? Those might be the sort of tidbits that would send Dad running to an attorney.
If it is illegal, I want to know. If this ever does come to him taking me back to court. I need to understand why he is recording us,...
Why do you need to understand? If the recordings are introduced in court, the judge will not care
why he recorded. Only whether the recordings were properly obtained, and if so, whether they are authentic.
...and it will be mentioned in court as to why he is doing so.
Don't bet on it. If he doesn't attempt to introduce the tapes into evidence, how would the taping be brought up at all? If he did learn of a change of circumstances through those tapes, that does not preclude him from now finding evidence of those circumstances that
would be admissible in court.
Furthermore, what proof do you have as to the tapes' existence? The word of your 16 year old is not proof.
Prosecuting him is definitely not beneficial and I would not take it that far.
Good.
Like I said before. I want to know is if his recording these recorded conversations are illegal, and does he have the right?
You've been given the answer.
He is documenting for some reason and I should obviously be doing the same.
So is that the reason for your questions? You sense that litigation is imminent, and you want to know if
you can get in trouble for recording
him without his consent? If so, why not come out and say that?
Go ahead and document whatever you need to document for court. Just do so legally.