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Does my ex have right to record phone conversation w/kids?

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proud_parent

Senior Member
Why would I say that I am in Florida and he is in Rhode Island. How would he be able to tape our conversations from within my own home? :rolleyes:
One of the rules of the forum is that you must include the name of your state. In cases involving parties who reside in different states, it is common for the poster to include the name of the state where the other party resides, regardless whether their case involves recording.

There was no help in raising these children. I can take the credit for that. Only help from him was financial.
So you say. When the children go to stay with Dad in Rhode Island, do you go along as well so as to be uninterrupted in your "raising" of them?

She is absolutely telling the truth about the recordings. The tape exists because she was listening to it. She was playing it while I was on the phone with her. Because she was on a cell phone I could not make out what was being said.
Where is that tape now? Oh yeah...in Rhode Island. Where you are not.

The reason I do not address these issues with my ex is because he will not hold a normal, non demeaning conversation with me, so I no longer communicate with him.
Realize that if you ever have occasion to bring this up in court, the judge is likely to conclude that Dad's alleged behavior is acceptable to you as you have done nothing to address it. Also realize that a judge may hand you your own ass if you admit you make no attempt at communicating with the children's father.

I don't appreciate being talked down to.
I don't appreciate the comedy of Jack Black. Anyone else have any personal feelings they'd like to share?

I am not the ignorant one here.
Do you mean to suggest that someone else here is ignorant? Do tell.


I don't need to justify "my" behavior to complete strangers on the internet.
And yet, you're spending an inordinate amount of time doing just that:
skarys
Junior Member
Last Activity: Today 01:36 PM
Replying to Thread Does my ex have right to record phone conversation w/kids? @ 01:36 PM
Today, 02:16 PM
#26
skarys
Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 6
Forty minutes to compose your last response. Why that kind of investment, if you feel it isn't necessary?

I am talking on a Free Advice Forum.
Cool. I'm typing on a FreeAdvice Forum. Been meaning to install that VoIP software, but haven't got around to it.

What does my behavior have to do with doing so?
If you ever do end up in court over the parenting matters with which you profess concern, your behavior will be at issue just as much as Dad's.

People like you make it difficult to get answers on forums like these.
You mean volunteers?
 
Last edited:


Humusluvr

Senior Member
oh, and who moved? You or dad? What is the beef about transportation costs?

and just to let you all know - I really don't get the whole alimony thing? Maybe there are reasons alimony is justified, but when you break up, split the household half and half - then shouldn't both people go get jobs and just support themselves? I totally understand child support, but not alimony.
 

SMinNJ

Member
Quote: Kudos for raising a truthful child. Or should I say, for helping to raise a truthful child. After all, Dad shares joint custody.

None the above addresses why said child listened to the entirety of the tapes, by the way.

There was no help in raising these children. I can take the credit for that. Only help from him was financial. .
Just need to point out that the only reason dad would be paying transportation expenses is if there was transporting going on - thus - parenting time - thus - dad helped raise the children. And the fact that your daughter was at his home when she found the recorder also means he is doing some parenting. Also, the only way he would be able to "torture" them on the phone is if they were actually on the phone with him... might be possible that he did some parenting there, like teaching them that showering and brushing their teeth everyday was important. There might just be something that dad knows about you and your parenting that would cause him to ask those questions...


Quote: So, why aren't you addressing these issues with your ex? In your initial post, you didn't mention the nature of Dad's conversations with or about the children. Only that you have reason to believe they were taped. And once again, even if your daughter is telling the truth about finding the tape and what is on it, where is your proof that such tape exists?

She is absolutely telling the truth about the recordings. The tape exists because she was listening to it. She was playing it while I was on the phone with her. Because she was on a cell phone I could not make out what was being said. The reason I do not address these issues with my ex is because he will not hold a normal, non demeaning conversation with me, so I no longer communicate with him. .
You do understand that this paragraph proves you to be a bad, bad custodial parent. If the child was on the phone with you listening to the recording, the good, good response would have been, "Put down your father's personal belonging and stop listening to it." You encouraged your daughter to spy on her father, thus potentially alienating her from him. Often, we feel demeaned when people point out the negative truth about us.

Quote: And justify your behavior to complete strangers on the internet.

I don't need to justify "my" behavior to complete strangers on the internet. I am talking on a Free Advice Forum. What does my behavior have to do with doing so? I asked a question in hope to get a response to my question. People like you make it difficult to get answers on forums like these.
You want the answers? It doesn't matter whether the recordings are legal until he tries to use them in court. You know, because of your sneaky, spying daughter, know things about her father and his life and decisions that you have no right to know. I suggest you use the opportunity, instead of denigrating him, to further your own situation, by making certain that you can support your own children. You do realize that you each pay child support - he gives you a check, and you pay your own portion as well... the fact that you might currently pay your portion with the alimony he gives you does not make it child support. If he applies to have the alimony deducted, it does not take money away from your children - it just means you must find your own way to supply it.

You sound just like another mother I know... refusing to talk to dad, not encouraging the children to have a positive relationship with dad, and taking all the credit for raising the child.
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
So you say. When the children go to stay with Dad in Rhode Island, do you go along as well so as to be uninterrupted in your "raising" of them?
Thank you for pointing that out. Even when parents do wrong things, it still goes towards "raising the kids."


Realize that if you ever have occasion to bring this up in court, the judge is likely to conclude that Dad's alleged behavior is acceptable to you as you have done nothing to address it. Also realize that a judge may hand you your own ass if you admit you make no attempt at communicating with the children's father.
Thank you for pointing that PP. Having no communication with dad is a no no.


I don't appreciate the comedy of Jack Black. Anyone else have any personal feelings they'd like to share?
Oh Oh me me!!! I hate changing diapers! And I hate that the baby swing my kiddo is in plays what sounds like the theme song to "Charles in Charge." I now hum that alllll dayyyy longgggg. And I despise Jack Black!


Do you mean to suggest that someone else here is ignorant? Do tell.
Prob me again. I always get accused of that one. With my 12 years of college.

Forty minutes to compose your last response. Why that kind of investment, if you feel it isn't necessary?
sleuthy!!!

Cool. I'm typing on a FreeAdvice Forum. Been meaning to install that VoIP software, but haven't got around to it.
could you imagine if we could hear each other? Or you could hear what was going on in poster's backgrounds? SUPER SCARY!!! :eek::eek::eek:


If you ever do end up in court over the parenting matters with which you profess concern, your behavior will be at issue just as much as Dad's.


You mean volunteers?[/QUOTE]
 

jbowman

Senior Member
You do understand that this paragraph proves you to be a bad, bad custodial parent. If the child was on the phone with you listening to the recording, the good, good response would have been, "Put down your father's personal belonging and stop listening to it." You encouraged your daughter to spy on her father, thus potentially alienating her from him. Often, we feel demeaned when people point out the negative truth about us.
I thought the same thing. If my child ever called me saying he was going thru his dad's personal belongings, no matter where they were in his home, that would be his (my child's) a** on a platter.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Why would I say that I am in Florida and he is in Rhode Island. How would he be able to tape our conversations from within my own home? :rolleyes:
Oh I don't know. Maybe when the children are visiting him and snooping through his belongings. They call you. He records the conversations then? Logic is NOT your strong suit. I am still trying to determine what is.


There was no help in raising these children. I can take the credit for that. Only help from him was financial.
GET OVER YOURSELF ALREADY. Dad has time with these children without your around> Hence he is parenting them.
She is absolutely telling the truth about the recordings. The tape exists because she was listening to it. She was playing it while I was on the phone with her. Because she was on a cell phone I could not make out what was being said.
Yet you couldn't make out what was being said on the alleged recordings so you are taking her word and she knows how much you like dad so therefore....


The reason I do not address these issues with my ex is because he will not hold a normal, non demeaning conversation with me, so I no longer communicate with him.
Really? CPs are to facilitate the relationship between the children and the NCP. How have you done that?



I don't appreciate being talked down to.
Then become the grown up -- and try standing up. Because I definitely have to look down to talk to you.

I am not the ignorant one here.
You are showing NO understanding of the law however. Hence that leads us to believe you are ignorant. I have an understanding of the law. I can prove it. You can't.
You do KNOW what ignorant means, don't you?


I don't need to justify "my" behavior to complete strangers on the internet. I am talking on a Free Advice Forum. What does my behavior have to do with doing so? I asked a question in hope to get a response to my question. People like you make it difficult to get answers on forums like these.
I have answered you. Of course you dont' like the answers but I have taken my time to do so.
 

SMinNJ

Member
You know her too??? :eek: Small world.

I think what's most amazing to me is not only do they do the same things, they give the same reasons. Dad is demeaning to her, always twisting things around. He does it to his daughter too... asks all these questions so that he can turn them back on her... We live in a one-party recording state, so Dad has every right to tape conversations with his ex, and I've always thought it smart to, since mom claims how abusive he is... Mom programmed child's phone with dad's number... using a very derogatory name that the child did not know at age 6... to describe him... and the list goes on... For 7 years I have watched this dad support, both financially and physically, his daughter... I have seen him hug her, cry with her, teach her, entertain her, discipline her, and love her. Never once have I seen him demean her - or the ex while the child was in his custody, for that matter.

Sorry for the hijack, just thought that the OP should see how the other side sees it...
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
I thought the same thing. If my child ever called me saying he was going thru his dad's personal belongings, no matter where they were in his home, that would be his (my child's) a** on a platter.
But, in this case, not only did mom not do THAT, she had daughter call from a cell phone, play the recordings (prob multiple times), and had daughter TRANSLATE!!!!

Mom, what did daughter find?

And how can you justify putting your daughter (who is arguably old enough to know what she's doing) in the Private Investigator seat? When you say, yourself, that they have been TORTURED. Did you want them to TORTURE daddy back? Or give YOU ammo to torture with?

Not cool.
 

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