Drug Addict Spouse/Cusoty

[PPGgirl]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania.

My soon-to-be ex and I recently separated and will be divorcing. We have an 8-year-old daughter. The ex has a bonafide, well-documented prescription drug abuse problem that continues to intensify and has spanned at least the last 5 years. It has taken me a very long time to muster up the courage to end the marriage, as the ex has a tendency to become violent, irrational, and frankly, QUITE scary when "threatened" with the end of the marriage. While the ex did get go to rehabilitation for 1 week 3-4 years ago, he relapsed only about 6 months later, this time abusing different prescriptions, and he has basically been in denial about his substance abuse issues ever since. He believes that because he is not shooting up heroin or doing other street drugs, he is not an addict. He "doctor hops" and "pharmacy hops" to obtain duplicate precriptions for his drugs du jour, and when he gets close to getting caught or being found out, he switches to new doctors and pharmacies (I have proof of all of this). Occasionally, he has admitted to himself and to others that he "might" have a problem and has intermittently, half-heartedly sought outpatient help (so he says), but he has never gone back to any formal rehabilitation, despite my desperate pleas. The ex's drug problem has taken a huge toll on our marriage, our family, and most importantly, our 8-year-old daughter. It got to the point where our daughter was afraid to be anywhere near her father, and I was afraid to leave her alone with him, etc. (for obvious reasons). His behavior had been so unpredictable and volatile, we never knew what to expect from him. He became quite violent 2 years ago when our daughter and I tried to leave the house after an argument over his drug use, and he literally chased us to our car, threatening to kill himself (right in front of our daughter) if we left. I'll spare you the remaining gory details, but suffice it to say, our daughter has been terrified of him ever since. THIS MAKES HIM VERY ANGRY, and he has done and said some pretty inappropriate things to her in his anger that have further damaged their relationship. The ex also has a bevy of other "petty" (as he refers to them) legal problems, including the inability to consistently keep a driver's license (it is always suspended for failing to pay speeding tickets or for driving while under suspension, etc.), a $500,000 (yes, that's a half a million dollars) federal tax lien, a recent arrest for shoplifting, and very possibly, an insurance fraud charge pending. He also some very serious heart problems that land him in the emergency room several times a year if not several times a month. IN ADDITION, he was recently fired from his job for poor performance. Three weeks ago, all he could talk about was wanting to die and made several threats regarding ending his own life. I was able to convince him to check himself into a psychiatric hospital, but he checked himself out after only a week and is right back to his old patterns. So, TO FINALLY GET TO MY QUESTION, will any of this information (with documented proof) have any bearing in a battle for custody of our daughter? I do NOT feel comfortable leaving my daughter alone with this man for even 1 hour UNSUPERVISED, let alone ship her off to spend the night with him or every other weekend with him. I think this history speaks VOLUMES about his character, judgment and ability to be responsible with and take care of a child, and I just don't feel safe leaving my daughter alone with him for any period of time. I would like to pursue supervised visitation, but don't have a lot of money to throw at it if it is a lost cause. I was thinking if he did decide to clean up his life, custody and visitation could be renegotiated at that time. I know he is going to flip his lid if I suggest supervised visitation, but I am just trying to protect my child.

[Ohiogal]

Double Post Lock This Thread!