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drug use of custodial parent in a joint custody situation

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ultravioletmama

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Oregon

Ex and I have joint legal custody, he has physical custody. We have had some major communication issues about the children over the last 5 years, ex likes to communicate issues to our oldest child rather then with me. The biggie is I just found out the ex had used class II illegal drugs and was terminated from a job for not passing a UA with this substance in his system 2-1/2 years ago. Because this is a highly addictive substance, I fear that the ex is still using due to the volatile nature he displays to our children. He has never been physically abusive, but the way he yells at my children has been documented by a relative in the medical profession. Also the children have witnessed their grandmother (who resides with them) be abusive to another little boy that she used to provide child care to, this was documented by the child welfare agency.

My question is, because this drug use was documented over 2 years ago, is this too long ago to bring up now, especially since I suspect he may still be using? I have heard that a transfer of physical custody can happen with joint legal custody when circumstances change. Any input or advice is extremely appreciated, I am very worried about the environment my children live in.

Thank you.
 


ultravioletmama

Junior Member
"The biggie is I just found out the ex had used class II illegal drugs and was terminated from a job for not passing a UA with this substance in his system 2-1/2 years ago."

As I stated before, I just received this information.
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Oregon

Ex and I have joint legal custody, he has physical custody. We have had some major communication issues about the children over the last 5 years, ex likes to communicate issues to our oldest child rather then with me. The biggie is I just found out the ex had used class II illegal drugs and was terminated from a job for not passing a UA with this substance in his system 2-1/2 years ago. Because this is a highly addictive substance, I fear that the ex is still using due to the volatile nature he displays to our children. He has never been physically abusive, but the way he yells at my children has been documented by a relative in the medical profession. Also the children have witnessed their grandmother (who resides with them) be abusive to another little boy that she used to provide child care to, this was documented by the child welfare agency.

My question is, because this drug use was documented over 2 years ago, is this too long ago to bring up now, especially since I suspect he may still be using? I have heard that a transfer of physical custody can happen with joint legal custody when circumstances change. Any input or advice is extremely appreciated, I am very worried about the environment my children live in.

Thank you.

the bold may be why Blondie
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
And in all that time there were no concerns that the child was being neglected or abused. Hence the drug use did NOT affect the parenting the child received. Hence it will not matter now. Prove that the CP is using drugs TODAY AND prove that SUCH USE NEGATIVELY IMPACTS THE CHILD TODAY. If you can prove those two things you have a shot. If not, then you don't. Use 2 years ago MEANS NOTHING.

The other stuff doesn't matter legally.
 

ultravioletmama

Junior Member
And in all that time there were no concerns that the child was being neglected or abused. Hence the drug use did NOT affect the parenting the child received. Hence it will not matter now. Prove that the CP is using drugs TODAY AND prove that SUCH USE NEGATIVELY IMPACTS THE CHILD TODAY. If you can prove those two things you have a shot. If not, then you don't. Use 2 years ago MEANS NOTHING.

The other stuff doesn't matter legally.
Abuse can be subject to interpretation :) I was and am concerned about the yelling as stated in my initial post. Just curious, what state do you practice law in?
 

BL

Senior Member
Abuse can be subject to interpretation :) I was and am concerned about the yelling as stated in my initial post. Just curious, what state do you practice law in?
You're just concerned about the yelling ?

Yelling is not illegal .

Some families yell at each other like they're all the way on mars or something .

Some families talk loud communicating .

There may other reasons the father yells , or gets agitated , has mood swings , whatever .

DID YOU EVER GET YELLED AT ?????? :D
 

StampGirl

Senior Member
Abuse can be subject to interpretation :) I was and am concerned about the yelling as stated in my initial post. Just curious, what state do you practice law in?
The only interpretation is the LEGAL one. The court is not going to see something that happened two years ago (whether or not you just found out or not) as immediate etc.

The longer it continues w/your knowledge of it, the less important it becomes and then you look just as bad because you waited to bring it up.

I would listen to OhioGal. She is a very smart attorney :)
 

ultravioletmama

Junior Member
have you ever had dinner with 3 generations of Italians? now THAT"S yelling LOL
Both the ex and I are of Italian descent actually. By yelling I mean, very loudly, intimidating for fear motivation. I consider this abusive, although not necessarily so in the eyes of the law. When my 11 year old tells me that she wants to live with me, I can chalk up to her not being happy in the home she is in.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Both the ex and I are of Italian descent actually. By yelling I mean, very loudly, intimidating for fear motivation. I consider this abusive, although not necessarily so in the eyes of the law.
Then it's not for discussion here.
ultravioletmama said:
When my 11 year old tells me that she wants to live with me, I can chalk up to her not being happy in the home she is in.
Or you can chalk it up to the normal back-and-forth of an 11 y.o. girl. ;) She probably doesn't want to go to the dentist, either.
 

ultravioletmama

Junior Member
The only interpretation is the LEGAL one. The court is not going to see something that happened two years ago (whether or not you just found out or not) as immediate etc.

The longer it continues w/your knowledge of it, the less important it becomes and then you look just as bad because you waited to bring it up.

I would listen to OhioGal. She is a very smart attorney :)
Smart is also up for interpretation. I am asking for advice from an attorney familiar with Oregon law, I would assume that an attorney from Ohio wouldn't chime in about Oregon law.

Remember this is JOINT legal custody, not sole custody. In the state of Oregon, physical custody can change within a joint custody arrangement if a judge can determine that circumstances have changed to warrant so, which in my case it would seem they have from the time the order was signed initially. We have already been to Oregon court over his violation of parenting time, which shows a history of him being uncooperative-cooperation is essential in joint custody.
 

ultravioletmama

Junior Member
No actually it is not. There are LEGAL definitions that must be applied in order for abuse to be proven. Yelling is NOT abuse. And if you can't figure out my state, you need help with reading comprehension.
an honest mistake on my part, no need to insult, that certainly doesn't show intelligence or willingness to help, which is the main reason why people participate in this forum. again, do you have knowledge of law in Oregon?
 
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