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Dysfunctional family, want to "get out". Advice Please?

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butlerw2016

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

Overview of my family situation: My father was abusive physically and emotionally, so he was removed from my families house by DCF. He is only allowed to have supervised contact, however he still has parental rights. My mother went along with the, and she currently has custody. We were recently evicted from our home and were displaced, I live with my grandmother while my mother and sister live with my aunt. I will point out that my mother "still loves" my father and caters to him. She has no income and relies on my father for support, which isn't working out because he doesn't give her any money and she refuses to file for child support. My mother only received parenting classes. She currently provides me with absolutely no support in any way, I effectively live at my grandmas house and care for myself.

To get out of this hellish situation I took the initiative to graduate early, which I will be doing. I took extra classes online and will be graduating as a junior in June. I also work 20 hours a week at a restaurant, where I earn about $150 a week. I am a straight A & B student and got a 1800 on the SAT, just for a little info on me.

I plan(ned) on joining the Navy as soon as I graduated so I could get out of the situation and serve my country, and my mother signed consent papers because I'm only 17. My father is being a jerk and refuses to however, and I still need his signature. There is NO way he will sign the papers, he has rather radical anti-government thoughts.

Basically I'm asking for what anyone would recommend to negate needing my fathers signature for military enlistment. My grandmother is my effective parent, although she has no legal rights. Is there anyway she could become my legal parent? My mother is a chronic alcoholic, and she was able to conceal this from DCF and court personal. I didn't tell the courts either because I was afraid of going into foster care, but I am now regretting that decision. Would it be plausible to report her alcoholism to the court, and then the court subsequently granting my grandmother custody / appointing her my guardian? If that was the case I wouldn't need either of my parents signatures, just my grandmas would do (she is willing to sign enlistment papers as well). If that's the case how long does that process take?

I know of the emancipation route, however this isn't totally practical. It takes several months to process for the military and sign actual enlistment papers, then an additional 6-8 months from that point to ship out for basic training. The emancipation process itself can take anywhere from 2-6 months. I'm looking for whatever path will negate my parents signatures the fastest so I can sign enlistment papers ASAP. I turn 18 in September so I could wait until then, but then I would end up spending 6-8 months just waiting to ship out and not accomplishing anything significant with my life. I live in FL.

Thanks in advance for all your help. I plan on becoming an attorney one day myself so I can advocate for children with similar domestic situations ; and hopefully lobby the legal system to give more rights/options to abused children. :)
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

Overview of my family situation: My father was abusive physically and emotionally, so he was removed from my families house by DCF. He is only allowed to have supervised contact, however he still has parental rights. My mother went along with the, and she currently has custody. We were recently evicted from our home and were displaced, I live with my grandmother while my mother and sister live with my aunt. I will point out that my mother "still loves" my father and caters to him. She has no income and relies on my father for support, which isn't working out because he doesn't give her any money and she refuses to file for child support. My mother only received parenting classes. She currently provides me with absolutely no support in any way, I effectively live at my grandmas house and care for myself.

To get out of this hellish situation I took the initiative to graduate early, which I will be doing. I took extra classes online and will be graduating as a junior in June. I also work 20 hours a week at a restaurant, where I earn about $150 a week. I am a straight A & B student and got a 1800 on the SAT, just for a little info on me.

I plan(ned) on joining the Navy as soon as I graduated so I could get out of the situation and serve my country, and my mother signed consent papers because I'm only 17. My father is being a jerk and refuses to however, and I still need his signature. There is NO way he will sign the papers, he has rather radical anti-government thoughts.

Basically I'm asking for what anyone would recommend to negate needing my fathers signature for military enlistment. My grandmother is my effective parent, although she has no legal rights. Is there anyway she could become my legal parent? My mother is a chronic alcoholic, and she was able to conceal this from DCF and court personal. I didn't tell the courts either because I was afraid of going into foster care, but I am now regretting that decision. Would it be plausible to report her alcoholism to the court, and then the court subsequently granting my grandmother custody / appointing her my guardian? If that was the case I wouldn't need either of my parents signatures, just my grandmas would do (she is willing to sign enlistment papers as well). If that's the case how long does that process take?

I know of the emancipation route, however this isn't totally practical. It takes several months to process for the military and sign actual enlistment papers, then an additional 6-8 months from that point to ship out for basic training. The emancipation process itself can take anywhere from 2-6 months. I'm looking for whatever path will negate my parents signatures the fastest so I can sign enlistment papers ASAP. I turn 18 in September so I could wait until then, but then I would end up spending 6-8 months just waiting to ship out and not accomplishing anything significant with my life. I live in FL.

Thanks in advance for all your help. I plan on becoming an attorney one day myself so I can advocate for children with similar domestic situations ; and hopefully lobby the legal system to give more rights/options to abused children. :)

Emancipation won't happen since it has to be filed by your legal parent/s or guardians. Forget that angle.

Alcoholism is not an adequate cause to remove custody from a parent. Forget that angle, too.

Assuming your parents share legal custody (decision making - not physical), consent from both is required.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
Joining the military to get out of your family's house is about as good of an idea as getting married to get out of the house. Possibly worse, because getting married is much less likely to end up with you getting seriously injured or even killed. I'm not sure that you've thought your plan all the way through or that you're doing it for the right reasons.
 

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