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Effect of how he will leave the house on child custody and support

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pooldaydreamer

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA


I have a 2 months old daughter. We have lived together with her father in my condo for the last 5 years. After the beginning of the pregnancy the things went bad with him - there has been a lot of verbal abuse and occasional physical as well. At this point I want him out of my life as much as it is possible having in mind we have a child together. I asked him to move out, but he said that he'll move out only if I ask him officially in a letter. My question is: What is the implication of how he will have left the house (being asked by me or on his own) in custody and support cases?

PS. I suspect it pretty impossible to prove any physical abuse, so please do not elaborate in this direction unless regarding ideas about how to approach proving it. The verbal abuse is more easily provable, since he has left messages on my cell phone that a friend of mine heard and was incredibly surprised that I still live with this attitude towards myself. I will appreciate any enlightening what is the difference of how he will leave.

Just if it has not become clear - we are not married.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


daddytj

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA


I have a 2 months old daughter. We have lived together with her father in my condo for the last 5 years. After the beginning of the pregnancy the things went bad with him - there has been a lot of verbal abuse and occasional physical as well. At this point I want him out of my life as much as it is possible having in mind we have a child together. I asked him to move out, but he said that he'll move out only if I ask him officially in a letter. My question is: What is the implication of how he will have left the house (being asked by me or on his own) in custody and support cases?

PS. I suspect it pretty impossible to prove any physical abuse, so please do not elaborate in this direction unless regarding ideas about how to approach proving it. The verbal abuse is more easily provable, since he has left messages on my cell phone that a friend of mine heard and was incredibly surprised that I still live with this attitude towards myself. I will appreciate any enlightening what is the difference of how he will leave.

Just if it has not become clear - we are not married.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I can't think of any reason outside of him being violent when he leaves that it could effect custody - it seems like if you say to a judge "he wouldn't leave until I wrote him a letter" that the judge would be like, oh well in that case**************. and on the flip side I can't imagine a judge will care if he says "See judge, she wrote me a letter, SHE wanted me to move... Iwanted to stay...." A judge wont are who wanted to end the relationship - a judge will care about the best interests of the child.

Your more immediate concern I believe is whether you can even force him to leave - whos name(s) is on the lease? I would suggest either writing your letter, and hope he moves, or move yourself, get an attorney and file for visitation.

I don't recommend that as its not fair to the child but if you are not married and have not established legal paternity then you can leave and not have visitation(a judge may look down on that route though)

To answer your question though, and unless someone with more knowledge of VA law speaks up, I'd say it does not matter, outside of violence issues, on HOW he leaves.
 

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