What is the name of your state? Indiana
Hello everyone, thanks for taking a moment to read this. My ex-wife is causing my son (not to mention myself) a great deal of stress - and I've had enough. Here's the situation:
She refuses child support payment. For the first 9 months after our divorce, I was out of the country, and asked her to be patient with me. She agreed, and seemed to be sincere. Once I returned and started working (6 days after arrival), I offered her a lump sum, which she refused. She told me she wanted me to send him items that he needed instead, which I did. I did also manage to sneak a few payments to her when I knew she needed money. However, she would not let me see my son. They live in Alabama.
Through the next year, I continued to try to see my son, and she kept refusing. In May, she got pregnant by one of her boyfriends, and I drove down to pick up my son and drop off $3,000 in cash - she told me to turn around and head back. She later had an abortion.
Now, she keeps agreeing to let me see him, but never delivers. I gave her a 1999 GMC Jimmy in September, and she was gracious enough to let him spend the day with me, but would not let me take him back with me. When I asked her why, it's because it would "cause problems in her house".
She lives with her uncle and grandmother. Her uncle is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, and is gay. He has a history of attempted suicide, alcoholism, abuse, and several run-ins with the law. The grandmother is a sweet lady, but lets him control the house.
Now for the serious stuff (as if all that weren't enough). My son developed athsma, so she pulled him out of school and is claiming to home-school him. However, being the only one in that house who is working, she is gone from 8:00 am until 6:30 pm or later. I've called the house at 7 pm, and asked him how was school, and he tells me that they skipped it. She claims to study with him when she gets home from work, which I highly doubt.
My son shares a bed with the gay uncle. He's six years old. I was already worried about abuse, but then she actually told me this past week that my son has a problem. He has been soiling himself. She says that when it happens, he won't tell anyone, they just notice the smell, and when they tell him, it's very embarrassing for him. I've talked to about a dozen nurses, social workers and child psychologists - and they all say the same thing - that is a sign of serious psychological stress.
When I try to pick him up, he tells me he'll only go if his mother goes too. The day I delivered her new SUV to her, he was very standoffish at first, but once I had him on my own (for about 8 hours) he was just fine. He loves me. He misses me. Deep down inside, he wants to be with me.
She has broken too many promises. She is not taking care of my son, and now I fear he's being abused. We do have JOINT custody, althouh I've only seen him for 8 hours in the past three years. I do owe her back child support, which I've tried to pay (and documented it) on NUMEROUS occaisions, but she refuses.
MY feeling is - she knows she's a lousy mother, she knows he's being abused, and THAT is why she won't accept child support. She's using that as a pawn to keep me from finding out what's going on. There is MUCH more to this story, but I want to keep this brief for the forum's sake.
For the record - I have NO history of abuse (with him or her). I am now happily re-married, I'm very successful, I have a beautiful home and a spare bedroom ready to accommodate him. I certainly have the means to take care of him.
She on the other hand is NOT homeschooling him like she's supposed to, she's leaving him in the custody of a man who frequently goes "on a rampage" (I actually have that on tape). She freely admits that HE (the psycho uncle) controls that house. She acknowledges that my son wants to see me, but says it would be bad for her as the uncle would "beat her up again" if she let me take my son.
I'm finished negotiating with her. She agreed to let me spend next week (12/7 through 12/14) with him. I bought non-refundable airline tickets, and arranged everything. About 18 hours before my departure, she called and cancelled because of the uncle being on yet another "rampage". He had my son so upset that he wouldn't even get on the phone with me.
I plan to contact my Alabama attorney on Monday to see if I can get temporary custody based on the child's best interests. I also want to get him seen by a doctor - and a child psychologist. Regardless of their findings, I want full custody of my son now. I feel that he's being abused, and it kills me to even think of it. One particular therapist told me that soiling can be a sign of sodomy. If that's the case - I will dedicate my life to getting my son out of there - and imprisoning the two of them for a very long time.
Any thoughts? Advice? Comments? Any and all replies are welcome and greatly appreciated.