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  1. #1
    SCMommy78 is offline Member
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    Emergency Custody Hearing-SC Please help me!

    First off I live in South Carolina. I am currently active duty military and my ex-husband is military. Last year I received orders to Washington DC. When I received these orders my ex-husband told me he would never let me take her out of state. I turned down this assignment and decided to end my active duty career after 12 years of service. I have been accused of being uninvolved in my child's life, mentally unstable and just an inferior parent. All of these allegations were unfounded and my ex looked ridiculous in depositions when he tried to substantiate his claims. Fast forward a year, he received orders to MD. He's been digging around for info on my new husband because he knows he cant try me again. My husband has 2 DUIs in the past...his most recent in November. My child was not in the car, nor was she even in my custody when my husband got this DUI. My ex is now demanding a emergency hearing alleging that my husband is a drunk and abuses me. Their is no basis for the abuse claims and my husband have never touched me or anyone else. Granted he did get two DUIs which I dont excuse, but he's never drank in front of my child let alone get drunk in front of her. Does not drink on a regular basis. Her father on the other hand, admitted during depositions that he regularly drank alcohol and drove the children around.
    I've done everything I can to make a stable life for my child. I've already got a job for when I leave the military and I bought a home. Its like he always thinks up some scheme to take her away from me continually!
    I am wondering...is there a chance I could lose my daughter even though he has no actual proof of anything?
  2. #2
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCMommy78 View Post
    First off I live in South Carolina. I am currently active duty military and my ex-husband is military. Last year I received orders to Washington DC. When I received these orders my ex-husband told me he would never let me take her out of state. I turned down this assignment and decided to end my active duty career after 12 years of service. I have been accused of being uninvolved in my child's life, mentally unstable and just an inferior parent. All of these allegations were unfounded and my ex looked ridiculous in depositions when he tried to substantiate his claims. Fast forward a year, he received orders to MD. He's been digging around for info on my new husband because he knows he cant try me again. My husband has 2 DUIs in the past...his most recent in November. My child was not in the car, nor was she even in my custody when my husband got this DUI. My ex is now demanding a emergency hearing alleging that my husband is a drunk and abuses me. Their is no basis for the abuse claims and my husband have never touched me or anyone else. Granted he did get two DUIs which I dont excuse, but he's never drank in front of my child let alone get drunk in front of her. Does not drink on a regular basis. Her father on the other hand, admitted during depositions that he regularly drank alcohol and drove the children around.
    I've done everything I can to make a stable life for my child. I've already got a job for when I leave the military and I bought a home. Its like he always thinks up some scheme to take her away from me continually!
    I am wondering...is there a chance I could lose my daughter even though he has no actual proof of anything?

    You will need to defend yourself against anything that dad files, but if things are as you say, he really has no basis for a change in custody. You might want to get an attorney to help you if dad files and then ask relief from the court with respect to attorney's fees.
  3. #3
    SCMommy78 is offline Member
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    I do have an attorney but she hasn't answered all my questions and I was hoping for some insight into the process. He is leaving the state in 10 days I'm not even sure what the likelihood is that he can get a hearing in time. He waited until the last second to do this. He's planning on if he wins Pulling her out of school with no notice or leaving her with his wife. I just can't believe he can keep making up excuses to try this!
  4. #4
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCMommy78 View Post
    I do have an attorney but she hasn't answered all my questions and I was hoping for some insight into the process. He is leaving the state in 10 days I'm not even sure what the likelihood is that he can get a hearing in time. He waited until the last second to do this. He's planning on if he wins Pulling her out of school with no notice or leaving her with his wife. I just can't believe he can keep making up excuses to try this!
    Relax and just communicate with your attorney.

    Dad may not even get an emergency hearing - because there's clearly no emergency.

    Even if he gets a hearing, he needs to provide sufficient evidence for the judge to be convinced of the emergency to get the judge to actually issue an opinion in the case.

    Then he has to prove that it's in the child's best interests to not only move out of state (away from the other parent) as well as change custody (assuming you have primary custody, although that wasn't clear).

    And he needs to do all of that with factual, admissible evidence - which he probably doesn't have.
  5. #5
    SCMommy78 is offline Member
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    Thank you everyone for the advice. I must be living in a parallel universe because my ex-husband got an emergency hearing with absolutely no proof of anything other than my husband having a DUI. He will moving out of state on Thursday. I've gotten multiple affidavits from coworkers and close friends that know my husband well, and know that he's not a violent drunk.

    I guess the case really spawned from my husband refusing to give his personal paperwork over to my ex. My ex said he wanted my husband to answer some questions, however when he emailed me it was a list of paperwork, demands of mandatory counseling with him being able to access the records and phone calls with his ex girlfriend.

    So we'll fast forward to yesterday, he had me served in front of my child! My husband is not named in the lawsuit, just myself. After reading my ex and his wife's affidavits they are accusing me of not knowing my husband well enough and putting my daughter's life in danger. But there's no proof of this and it's not true!

    I feel like I'm on Mars!! My ex and his wife are asking for sole custody and for me to pay the max child support (but part of their claim is that I dont make enough money to support my daughter) and their legal fees! I guess my real question is, when this gets thrown out by the judge...because the only thing true about this case is that my husband got a DUI (which i definitely dont excuse this kind of behavior). Can I ask for them to pay my legal fees? I've already spent $15k defending myself and proving I'm a great parent over the last 3 years!
  6. #6
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCMommy78 View Post
    Thank you everyone for the advice. I must be living in a parallel universe because my ex-husband got an emergency hearing with absolutely no proof of anything other than my husband having a DUI. He will moving out of state on Thursday. I've gotten multiple affidavits from coworkers and close friends that know my husband well, and know that he's not a violent drunk.

    I guess the case really spawned from my husband refusing to give his personal paperwork over to my ex. My ex said he wanted my husband to answer some questions, however when he emailed me it was a list of paperwork, demands of mandatory counseling with him being able to access the records and phone calls with his ex girlfriend.

    So we'll fast forward to yesterday, he had me served in front of my child! My husband is not named in the lawsuit, just myself. After reading my ex and his wife's affidavits they are accusing me of not knowing my husband well enough and putting my daughter's life in danger. But there's no proof of this and it's not true!

    I feel like I'm on Mars!! My ex and his wife are asking for sole custody and for me to pay the max child support (but part of their claim is that I dont make enough money to support my daughter) and their legal fees! I guess my real question is, when this gets thrown out by the judge...because the only thing true about this case is that my husband got a DUI (which i definitely dont excuse this kind of behavior). Can I ask for them to pay my legal fees? I've already spent $15k defending myself and proving I'm a great parent over the last 3 years!
    You can ask for it to be thrown out on the basis of lack of evidence and failure to show an emergency. You can most certainly ask for the court to order him to pay your legal expenses, but whether that happens is anyone's guess. Your attorney will have an idea whether your judge is likely to do that or not.
  7. #7
    SCMommy78 is offline Member
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    Thank you...I guess I'm just shocked they would grant a hearing with no evidence but I suppose it's different in SC. I'll let everyone know how it goes on Tuesday. I have a feeling he's going to end up looking ridiculous again. We could have put all the money we've spent on this case into an IRA for my daughter and had her college all paid for by now. Hopefully this will come to an end soon.
  8. #8
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCMommy78 View Post
    I guess the case really spawned from my husband refusing to give his personal paperwork over to my ex. My ex said he wanted my husband to answer some questions, however when he emailed me it was a list of paperwork, demands of mandatory counseling with him being able to access the records and phone calls with his ex girlfriend.
    And really? Your husband should have had this addressed by either your or his own attorney, instead of simply refusing to comply with the request. 'Cause it does make it appear he is hiding something.

    And... your ex did not have you served in front of your daughter. No, really, he didn't. He did not tell the process server to wait until the child was there to serve you. The process server showed up to serve you, you were there, and so was the child. It is not his/her job to find a time that you find more convenient.
  9. #9
    SCMommy78 is offline Member
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    My lawyer advised us not to send the documents. The things he requested were not routed through his attorney and they were things that a judge wouldn't even order him to provide. My husband is not named in the lawsuit just myself. My ex-husbands attorney contacted mine with questions he wanted answered about my husband. We answered all of his questions. Im not contesting the DUI questions and background questions. I believe my ex has a right to know that. We've also offered a special forensic alcohol test (my attorney suggested) that determines long term alcohol abuse as proof that he's not drunk every day or even on a monthly basis.

    And my ex husband did choose to have me served in front of our child. Our lawyers agreed that my attorney would receive service so he wouldn't have me served at work or in front of our child. I was served after my attorney was served earlier that day.
  10. #10
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCMommy78 View Post
    My lawyer advised us not to send the documents. The things he requested were not routed through his attorney and they were things that a judge wouldn't even order him to provide. My husband is not named in the lawsuit just myself. My ex-husbands attorney contacted mine with questions he wanted answered about my husband. We answered all of his questions. Im not contesting the DUI questions and background questions. I believe my ex has a right to know that. We've also offered a special forensic alcohol test (my attorney suggested) that determines long term alcohol abuse as proof that he's not drunk every day or even on a monthly basis.

    And my ex husband did choose to have me served in front of our child. Our lawyers agreed that my attorney would receive service so he wouldn't have me served at work or in front of our child. I was served after my attorney was served earlier that day.
    You can't stop him from being a jerk. An agreement between your attorneys is not binding, although it may reflect poorly on him if the judge hears about it.
  11. #11
    SCMommy78 is offline Member
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    That's true. We dont even have these documents and my ex's deadline was one week. The military paperwork would take awhile to get because we don't know where his records are located. I put in a request but they aren't able to locate his records so they forwarded the request another agency. I guess it does appear that he's hiding something. That's not the case...they know the bad already...the DUIs. My attorney said that a judge wouldn't order him to give the papers to my ex. I would be happy to give them to the GAL.
  12. #12
    SCMommy78 is offline Member
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    I had the emergency hearing today. My ex husband's lawyer basically had affidavits from his parents, and some a family the know that I have never met, who said my household was unfit and my child was in danger but had absolutely nothing to back it up.

    My lawyer showed proof to the contrary of all of the accusations that my ex-husand used to get the emergency hearing. She called it an abuse of the judicial system, which I agree that someone with a real emergency could have been in court today and not us.

    The best part of the proceeding was when his lawyer started his opening argument he kept calling my husband by my ex's current wife's ex-husband (if that makes sense) throughout his entire speech. My attorney debunked all of the accusations and at the very end of it his attorney gave a very angry rebuttal and basically backed down and said all they ever wanted was mediation and that we were completely uncooperative.

    I think it went well. I was wondering...how long does it typically take to hear what the ruling is? Same day...a few days later?

    Thank you to those of you who have given me advice and encouragement. This is the beginning of a whole other case that I'm sure will be filed as soon as the emergency hearing is past us. I dont expect they will stop trying until my child turns 18.
  13. #13
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    congratulations! i know it's bad of me, but i find it a source of entertainment to watch someone else make a fool of themselves. it's nice when you don't have to do the work for them.
  14. #14
    SCMommy78 is offline Member
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    He was very ill prepared and has a history of showing up to court unprepared. He's pretty old too...might be time to retire. Looking forward to the ruling though!
  15. #15
    CSO286 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCMommy78 View Post
    I think it went well. I was wondering...how long does it typically take to hear what the ruling is? Same day...a few days later?
    It really can vary. Expect it to take about 30-45 days, and you should be pleasantly surprised.

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