Emergency custody order

[nativemum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon/Washington

I have questions regarding obtaining an emergency custody order for my 14 year old stepson. My husband and I live in Oregon, however the original custody order was in Washington where my stepson lives with his mother. The order was filed in 2007 and we have joint custody as defined by Washington (every other weekend during the school year and two weeks on/two weeks off over summer vacation).

When I picked him up for our weekend visitation this last Friday, he had a major panic attack in the car when I asked him how the last two weeks of school had been going/what he had been working on. When we arrived at our home, he told his father that he has been having multiple severe panic attacks a day and is suicidal. He said that he has told his mother, but that she won't do anything or get him help and tells him to "just think of something else". His father was able to get him to contract for safety and to agree to reach out to him/us as needed. He did state and has stated in the past that he doesn't always feel safe doing so because his phone usage, calls and texts, are monitored. He also told his father today on the way back to school (pick up and drop off is at school) that he wants to live with us.

I need to know a) Which state does my husband file for a change of custody in? and b) Does this count as sufficient cause for an emergency custody order?

Thank you.

 

[Zigner]

...we have joint custody...

No, "we" don't.

Please have your husband log on to ask his own questions relating to his own legal matters. Thank you in advance for your gracious understanding and cooperation.

 

[wavehopper27]

3 Things.

1. The court in Washington is the proper venue.

2. You are legally nothing to this child. This matter is between his parents alone. Alot of judges don't look to kindly upon stepparents sticking their noses in where they don't belong. Do your husband a favor and back off. I know you want to help but you could actually end up making things worse.

3. Have dad create an account here and ask his own quesions.

 

[nativemum]

1. I know that I have no legal standing. That was made abundantly clear in 2007 when I sat in court and had to listen to myself be denigrated and with absolutely no recourse. Regardless of the fact that I had been the child's primary caretaker for 3+ years while the 3 of us (adults) lived together with my stepson. Yes, we were a triad. Yes, the child's mother and I were romantically involved. So, while I have no legal standing in our court system, please do not dismiss me as "just a nosy step mother" with an axe to grind with my spouse's ex.

2. I am asking on this forum because my spouse is at work and this is an urgent matter. The child is suicidal but legally, we had to return him to school this morning.

 

[stealth2]

So, did Dad speak with his son's guidance counselor or the school counselor about his son's threats?

 

[Zigner]

2. I am asking on this forum because my spouse is at work and this is an urgent matter. The child is suicidal but legally, we had to return him to school this morning.

Why did dad not take his suicidal son for a psychiatric evaluation...?


ETA: See? Whether I talk about the monkey's or about the OP's expected graciousness, it doesn't work...

 

[Silverplum]

Why did dad not take his suicidal son for a psychiatric evaluation...?

Excellent question.

ETA: See? Whether I talk about the monkey's or about the OP's expected graciousness, it doesn't work...

Behavior is an interesting study.

 

[Ohiogal]

1. I know that I have no legal standing. That was made abundantly clear in 2007 when I sat in court and had to listen to myself be denigrated and with absolutely no recourse. Regardless of the fact that I had been the child's primary caretaker for 3+ years while the 3 of us (adults) lived together with my stepson. Yes, we were a triad. Yes, the child's mother and I were romantically involved. So, while I have no legal standing in our court system, please do not dismiss me as "just a nosy step mother" with an axe to grind with my spouse's ex.

2. I am asking on this forum because my spouse is at work and this is an urgent matter. The child is suicidal but legally, we had to return him to school this morning.

Dad should have done the proper parental thing and taken his child for an emergency admission to the hospital due to suicidal ideation. The fact that he didn't says he doesn't think his son is serious and therefore it is not an emergency. Or that he is as neglectful as you and he are accusing mom of being.

 

[nativemum]

So, did Dad speak with his son's guidance counselor or the school counselor about his son's threats?

Not yet. We just found out after school on Friday. And looking at the school website, they don't have a counselor? At least not one listed.

 

[nativemum]

Why did dad not take his suicidal son for a psychiatric evaluation...?


ETA: See? Whether I talk about the monkey's or about the OP's expected graciousness, it doesn't work...

Because he contracted for safety and had no active plan.

 

[Silverplum]

Not yet. We just found out after school on Friday. And looking at the school website, they don't have a counselor? At least not one listed.

Well, then.

 

[Silverplum]

Because he contracted for safety and had no active plan.

Oh.

Well, then.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon/Washington

I have questions regarding obtaining an emergency custody order for my 14 year old stepson. My husband and I live in Oregon, however the original custody order was in Washington where my stepson lives with his mother. The order was filed in 2007 and we have joint custody as defined by Washington (every other weekend during the school year and two weeks on/two weeks off over summer vacation).

When I picked him up for our weekend visitation this last Friday, he had a major panic attack in the car when I asked him how the last two weeks of school had been going/what he had been working on. When we arrived at our home, he told his father that he has been having multiple severe panic attacks a day and is suicidal. He said that he has told his mother, but that she won't do anything or get him help and tells him to "just think of something else". His father was able to get him to contract for safety and to agree to reach out to him/us as needed. He did state and has stated in the past that he doesn't always feel safe doing so because his phone usage, calls and texts, are monitored. He also told his father today on the way back to school (pick up and drop off is at school) that he wants to live with us.

I need to know a) Which state does my husband file for a change of custody in? and b) Does this count as sufficient cause for an emergency custody order?

Thank you.

It needed to be done.

 

[nativemum]

Dad should have done the proper parental thing and taken his child for an emergency admission to the hospital due to suicidal ideation. The fact that he didn't says he doesn't think his son is serious and therefore it is not an emergency. Or that he is as neglectful as you and he are accusing mom of being.

As I stated, he contracted for safety and had no active plan. He agreed to contact his dad when/if he starts having suicidal thoughts again and in the mean time we are trying to get him help. Which is difficult given that his mother refuses to give us his insurance information.

And none of this answers my original question (other than the one individual who answered which state the filing needs to go through).

 

[Silverplum]

As I stated, he contracted for safety and had no active plan. He agreed to contact his dad when/if he starts having suicidal thoughts again and in the mean time we are trying to get him help. Which is difficult given that his mother refuses to give us his insurance information.

And none of this answers my original question (other than the one individual who answered which state the filing needs to go through).

And none of this responds to our requests, either. *shrug*

Help can be found here, among other places: http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org