Emergency Temporary Custody

[stepmom&mom]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

I am a member of the Oklahoma Army National Guard who is currently deployed to Kuwait. My husband and I have had some serious marital problems and about 2 months ago I found out he was cheating on me. What I didn't know, at the time was that he was also neglecting my children. I found out that not only was my husband not taking care of the house, but that my several different neighbors had found my 1 and 3 year old running around outside by themselves and brought them back. One of the neighbors that found them, found them by a creek bed and brought them back to my home and knocked on the door and yelled inside, but no one answered. I have no idea where my husband was, but they said if one more incident had happened, they would have called DHS. I also found out that my older son, who is ten years old was being left in charge of them to babysit them very often.

So, my parents went over to the house, got my kids, packed up all the things and took them to their house. My husband did not object and went to his sister's house. However, his sister has alluded to the idea of him getting the two younger kids (my oldest is his stepson) and I know that legally he can do this at any time. While my parents were packing up the house, they also found drug paraphanelia in the house. None of this stuff has ever happened prior to my deployment.

Since I am active duty military, I am asking to take leave within the next week and a half to try to get temporary emergency custody for my parents for the rest of my deployment. My husband is on some pretty heavy duty medication, has been diagnosed with ADHD and depression and is not mentally capable of caring for them. I have found out that the JAG office can only offer legal advice. I am wondering if it is difficult to request temporary custody pro se or if I really need to pay for a lawyer. I don't have tons of money to spend on that. I am not currently looking to file for divorce or legal separation at this point. I will only be back home for 15 days and then will have to come back to Kuwait.

 

[Humusluvr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

I am a member of the Oklahoma Army National Guard who is currently deployed to Kuwait. My husband and I have had some serious marital problems and about 2 months ago I found out he was cheating on me. What I didn't know, at the time was that he was also neglecting my children. I found out that not only was my husband not taking care of the house, but that my several different neighbors had found my 1 and 3 year old running around outside by themselves and brought them back. One of the neighbors that found them, found them by a creek bed and brought them back to my home and knocked on the door and yelled inside, but no one answered. I have no idea where my husband was, but they said if one more incident had happened, they would have called DHS. I also found out that my older son, who is ten years old was being left in charge of them to babysit them very often.

So, my parents went over to the house, got my kids, packed up all the things and took them to their house. My husband did not object and went to his sister's house. However, his sister has alluded to the idea of him getting the two younger kids (my oldest is his stepson) and I know that legally he can do this at any time. While my parents were packing up the house, they also found drug paraphanelia in the house. None of this stuff has ever happened prior to my deployment.

Since I am active duty military, I am asking to take leave within the next week and a half to try to get temporary emergency custody for my parents for the rest of my deployment. My husband is on some pretty heavy duty medication, has been diagnosed with ADHD and depression and is not mentally capable of caring for them. I have found out that the JAG office can only offer legal advice. I am wondering if it is difficult to request temporary custody pro se or if I really need to pay for a lawyer. I don't have tons of money to spend on that. I am not currently looking to file for divorce or legal separation at this point. I will only be back home for 15 days and then will have to come back to Kuwait.

If your husband is not mentally capable of caring for them, why did you leave them with him?

If this is so serious, you should file for divorce/temporary custody orders. I would absolutely use a lawyer, for the safety of your children. and since you can't be right there because you are in a different country, I would highly suggest the lawyer!

 

[SopranoKris]

I agree with the previous posters that you most definitely need a lawyer. Whether you're seeking a divorce or not, your childrens' safety is worth every penny spent.

While your mom & dad have good intentions, don't be surprised if your husband tries to take the kids back. Without any court orders in place, he has every right to do so.

CPS really needs to investigate if he's using drugs, leaving the kids home alone, etc. In some states, leaving children home alone under a certain age is crime. (Not sure about Oklahoma, but you can google to find out)

Just my personal opinion, not legal advice - and please think long and hard about this: he's cheating on you, leaving your kids unattended, possibly doing drugs or possiby having people in the home that are using drug paraphenalia, etc. You really need to evaluate what's in the best interest of your children. Your heart needs to belong to your kids in this situation.