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Enforcing Visitation

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H

HAQsMom

Guest
What is the name of your state? Missouri

I find a lot of information for the non-custodial parent and how they can enforce their visitation rights. But what about the other way around? I mean isn't there a way I (being the custodial parent) can "force" my exh to have his visitation? We were divorced in April and have a parenting plan, but my ex always skips his days with the kids, sometimes giving me no notice. He often goes two weeks without seeing or calling them. I am sick of it and want to know if there is some way I can try and force him to see them. Isn't there anything I can do? They miss him so much, and are so hurt when he doesn't show.

I was also told that he is supposed to provide diapers, wipes, food, etc for the kids when they visit him, but he doesn't. And I don't want to send my kids over there with nothing, so I always end up giving him what he needs. Should I do that? Or send them with nothing and tell him to go buy it?

Thanks
 


Whyte Noise

Senior Member
Nope. You can't "force" him to take the scheduled visitation. Just make sure you have the children ready to go at those times. If he doesn't show, it's on him, and not you. He can't say you're denying anything. Document each time he's supposed to have the children, when he doesn't show, and what his reason is. Document as well the times he DOES show.

Food is pretty much a given for providing. Diapers and wipes.... any "normal" parent would have what their child needs. Of course, that's in a perfect world. I'm not one to say not to send your child to the other parents house without that stuff though if you KNOW he's not getting it. I'd send it. Of course, that's just me. I wouldnt want my child laying there without a diaper on their butt.

There's no "law" that says he has to provide these things. It's what he SHOULD do, yes. But if he doesnt, be the bigger person and send it with your children. It hurts no one but the kids in a situation like this when you try to pull something like that. Two lefts might make a right, but two wrongs don't.
 

BL

Senior Member
If the other party entitled to visitations continually does not show and frequently,you can file a Violation Petition against them.

The order(s) are for both parents to fallow. This is done for the best interest of the child.

Once you file a violation Petition, the other party may just start fallowing the order(s), before losing their rights even more.

This may prompt that party to start supplying those necessities agreed upon also. : )

If the other party is that dis-interested in keeping scheduled visitations,then the visitation schedule should be modified anyways so the child(ren) do-not suffer the emotional trauma of the party not showing.
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
Blonde Lebinese said:
If the other party entitled to visitations continually does not show and frequently,you can file a Violation Petition against them.

The order(s) are for both parents to fallow. This is done for the best interest of the child.

Once you file a violation Petition, the other party may just start fallowing the order(s), before losing their rights even more.

This may prompt that party to start supplying those necessities agreed upon also. : )

Incorrect.

There is no such "petition" in Missouri for an NCP that doesn't exercise visitation rights.
 
H

Hopkins

Guest
to BLONDE

YOu actually think it is in the best interests of the "child" to be forced to visit the NCP when they have no interest in doing so?
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
The other way to go about it is file for a support modification. NCP's are given X amount off of support for visitation. If he continues to not use his visitation the file for the modification... might not get it but it might get him to take the children. Sometimes it takes divorced people a little bit to get used to the idea. Is it right? No.. but it happens.
 

BL

Senior Member
Re: to BLONDE

Hopkins said:
YOu actually think it is in the best interests of the "child" to be forced to visit the NCP when they have no interest in doing so?
I'm reading what the poster said about the kid(s) missing their Bio Parent and they are hurt when the BP does not show.

Even though CP has to provide the necessities when visits occur,the visiting parent may otherwise be good with the child(ren) when he does visit.

If he IS-NOT living up to the visitation schedule , then it is hurting the child(ren) emotionally looking forward to the visitation.

Either way a MODIFICATION PETITION is in order ,yes for the children's best interest.

Either the visiting Parent start living up to the Parenting Plan,or the Court could Modify them , so as to not do Emotion Harm to the child(ren).

I hope that clarifies " For the best interest of the child(ren).

I think CP was referring to this.
 

haiku

Senior Member
Re: Re: to BLONDE

Blonde Lebinese said:
I'm reading what the poster said about the kid(s) missing their Bio Parent and they are hurt when the BP does not show.

Even though CP has to provide the necessities when visits occur,the visiting parent may otherwise be good with the child(ren) when he does visit.

If he IS-NOT living up to the visitation schedule , then it is hurting the child(ren) emotionally looking forward to the visitation.

Either way a MODIFICATION PETITION is in order ,yes for the children's best interest.

Either the visiting Parent start living up to the Parenting Plan,or the Court could Modify them , so as to not do Emotion Harm to the child(ren).

I hope that clarifies " For the best interest of the child(ren).I think CP was referring to this.
***And "I took daddys visits away legally." does what? for thier emotional well being?.

from the original post, these kids are still in diapers. why do they have to even be aware daddy is standing them up?

my child is 5, my husband works away from home. I do NOT promise my child," daddy is coming home TODAY", unless I know FOR sure that he is on his way.
 

BL

Senior Member
I mean isn't there a way I (being the custodial parent) can "force" my exh to have his visitation? [ Quote ] by original poster !!

If you feel the " need " to address these issues , PLEASE direct them at the original poster !!:D

I simply am trying to reply to the legal Question .

Well our personal " emotional " feelings may vary and have " Moral " merit ( I may have such feeling myself ),the law would look at the emotional impact of the children.

What is it 1 1/2 - 2 yrs old for potty training ?
 
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haiku

Senior Member
I quoted your post, to point out to the OP that though legally she MAY have options, this really may be more of an emotional issue than one that needs to be addressed by the court.

sometimes it needs to be pointed out along with the legal advice, that other avenues should be explored before money is spent on something that may end up being fruitless or causing more harm than good.

Parents should not be running to let the courts decide thier every movement as a parent.

No one can really be sure until they get advice from an actual lawyer in thier state and go before the judge for the final ruling.

I pointed out my older but still young child, as an example of how to handle separation anxiety in children.

It is now up to the OP to weigh her legal and emotional options.
 

BL

Senior Member
Haiku , My wording should have been , If anyone feels the need !!:) address the OP.

We all have our battles,and every situation is different.

I agree with you also !!

My story is one of PKPA & Secretion , and a battle w/ Fam. Court,appeals,and back.Separately another battle w/ CS.

My children at age 3-4 & 5 Could not understand why daddy had to leave when i visited ,crying their little eyes out, and wanted to come w/ me , so I guess I was reflecting on my experiences.

Yes ,It would be nice to not have to let the courts intervene,and yes if BM would not make an issue of it ( while the kids are in diapers ), they may not even think about the visits.

So both parents play a role in the children's well being ( that role should be to promote love & stability ).

I agree I agree < bowing on my Knees > : ) lil Irish humor.

BTW My kids are all grown now,and i do have some contact with them.
 

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