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Enforcing Vistation Order Across State Lines

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CaliStepMom

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CALIFORNIA

Help - my fiance has a child visitation order that he gets his daughter 3 weeks in June and 3 weeks in August. His ex had a family friend bring their daughter to CA from MI in late June but has refused to bring her out, per court order, this month. She is refusing stating she will lose her job if she takes a day off to fly out here. MI police will not enforce the order as it is a "civil" matter. What do we do to get the courts to see she lied and force her to uphold the court order? The current order is violated not just on vistation, but also phone calls, bank statements, etc. Any assistance would be greatly appreciated. Once a year visits just don't cut it. He used to see her every weekend when they lived in CA. Thank you in advance.
 


CaliStepMom

Junior Member
Mother was ordered to put half of her spousal support payment into an interest bearing account to pay for travel. In doing this, she was to also provide father with monthly bank statements. he hasn't gotten one since February and it was a summary sheet for the period of October to January.

The child is 7 yrs old.

Oh and the court system in CA didn't even "slap" her hand when she withheld vistation for 7 weeks in a row when they lived in CA so I wonder if they will do anything now. She withheld this time because I refused to give her my full name, driver's license #, address, place of employment, etc. None of her business and the court told her so.
 
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mistoffolees

Senior Member
Mother was ordered to put half of her spousal support payment into an interest bearing account to pay for travel. In doing this, she was to also provide father with monthly bank statements. he hasn't gotten one since February and it was a summary sheet for the period of October to January.

The child is 7 yrs old.

Oh and the court system in CA didn't even "slap" her hand when she withheld vistation for 7 weeks in a row when they lived in CA so I wonder if they will do anything now. She withheld this time because I refused to give her my full name, driver's license #, address, place of employment, etc. None of her business and the court told her so.
Dad's going to have to go back to court - and demand the documents and visitation. He can also ask to be reimbursed for legal expenses.

Some courts don't do anything on contempt, but will do so if the person repeatedly violates orders.

He really needs an attorney on the ground in CA. I would be arguing for immediate contempt penalties, reimbursement of all expenses, compensatory time, and probably a change in custody due to her willful interference in the father's relationship with the child.

He probably won't get the last item, but the rest are reasonable. Unfortunately, it will probably take an attorney to enforce it.
 
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CaliStepMom

Junior Member
That is why he has waited this long to file contempt charges - he wants to show a pattern. This woman has lied so many times that she doesn't know what the truth is. Her best lie was 'I CAN'T WORK BECAUSE I AM DISABLED.' and yet she moves to MI, finds 2 - yes I typed 2- jobs and bought a house while interferring with the father's time. She even told the judge repeatedly that she would not violate this order as she had in the past. Sad part is that she is only harming the child in this relationship. She even tries to tell him how to parent when he has their child with him. He had an attorney when this whole things started and the attorney did nothing for him. She takes over 50% of his income for spousal and child support so getting an attorney is probably out of the question. We don't want the mother to not have time with the child but custody change would be great. Thank you for your help. It is truly appreciated.
 
Dad's going to have to go back to court - and demand the documents and visitation. He can also ask to be reimbursed for legal expenses.

Some courts don't do anything on contempt, but will do so if the person repeatedly violates orders.

He really needs an attorney on the ground in CA. I would be arguing for immediate contempt penalties, reimbursement of all expenses, compensatory time, and probably a change in custody due to her willful interference in the father's relationship with the child.

He probably won't get the last item, but the rest are reasonable. Unfortunately, it will probably take an attorney to enforce it.
I'm in California - Dad needs to file for contempt. If he waits for a "pattern" then the courts could say he didn't seem to care all that much.

And file contempt for EVERY time Mom does not follow the court orders for visitation and regular contact. That will show the pattern to the court. And might as well modify parenting plan to include holidays if it's not in the existing orders.
 

CaliStepMom

Junior Member
I'm in California - Dad needs to file for contempt. If he waits for a "pattern" then the courts could say he didn't seem to care all that much.

And file contempt for EVERY time Mom does not follow the court orders for visitation and regular contact. That will show the pattern to the court. And might as well modify parenting plan to include holidays if it's not in the existing orders.
Well each time she violates, he would be in the hole financially by $500 for the last 5 cut short and/or missed visitations, $500 X 7 for no bank statements which is roughly $6,000. Then if you throw a contempt hearing for each time she didn't call, he would be in court more than he worked, therefore he wouldn't have a job at all. He is in a catch-22 so to speak. He is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. I am just annoyed with the court system allowing her to lie and get away with violating a preevious court order and now this one. I wont' go into the other laws she is breaking with regard to public assistance and her "disability" but there are many. Existing order is for time in June, in August, every other Christmas for 2 - 2 1/2 weeks and every Spring Break. So holidays are in the existing order.

Thanks for your input.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Well each time she violates, he would be in the hole financially by $500 for the last 5 cut short and/or missed visitations, $500 X 7 for no bank statements which is roughly $6,000. Then if you throw a contempt hearing for each time she didn't call, he would be in court more than he worked, therefore he wouldn't have a job at all. He is in a catch-22 so to speak. He is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. I am just annoyed with the court system allowing her to lie and get away with violating a preevious court order and now this one. I wont' go into the other laws she is breaking with regard to public assistance and her "disability" but there are many. Existing order is for time in June, in August, every other Christmas for 2 - 2 1/2 weeks and every Spring Break. So holidays are in the existing order.

Thanks for your input.
Your husband would be far better off eating the cost/inconvenience of transportation so that he actually gets to spend the time with the children, and then filing for contempt and reimbursement from mom (possibly from the alimony due to her) later, than to miss out on the time with the children and hope to get her punished for that later.

He also doesn't need an attorney to file for contempt.
 

Antigone*

Senior Member
Your husband would be far better off eating the cost/inconvenience of transportation so that he actually gets to spend the time with the children, and then filing for contempt and reimbursement from mom (possibly from the alimony due to her) later, than to miss out on the time with the children and hope to get her punished for that later.

He also doesn't need an attorney to file for contempt.
I guess it is just semantics Ldi, but she is not his wife.:rolleyes:

Help - my fiance has a child visitation order that he gets his daughter 3 weeks in June and 3 weeks in August
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I guess it is just semantics Ldi, but she is not his wife.:rolleyes:

Missed that...my bad.

Why is it that so many men are so internet challenged that they need their new significant others to do their research for them? It annoys me less than it annoys a lot of others here, but lately?...its like a 10 to 1 ratio.:confused:
 

Antigone*

Senior Member
Missed that...my bad.

Why is it that so many men are so internet challenged that they need their new significant others to do their research for them? It annoys me less than it annoys a lot of others here, but lately?...its like a 10 to 1 ratio.:confused:
I don't think it is the guys needing their significant others to do the research as much as it is the significant others not liking the situation dad is in (and probably doesn't want to do much about) sot they take the bull by the horns & "overstep".

You see that she says she is a step mom when in reality she is just the flavor of the day that can be here today and gone tomorrow.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Missed that...my bad.

Why is it that so many men are so internet challenged that they need their new significant others to do their research for them? It annoys me less than it annoys a lot of others here, but lately?...its like a 10 to 1 ratio.:confused:


I believe SilverPlum knows the answer to that :D
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I don't think it is the guys needing their significant others to do the research as much as it is the significant others not liking the situation dad is in (and probably doesn't want to do much about) sot they take the bull by the horns & "overstep".

You see that she says she is a step mom when in reality she is just the flavor of the day that can be here today and gone tomorrow.
And maybe with another child or two by dad and in the same shoes as the other mother...sigh...

Years ago there was a poster here, another "fiancee", who was livid as heck that the father of her children had TWO prior families of children to support. She thought it was so unfair that he couldn't just "move on".

She was absolutely convinced that there should be a maximum amount of money allocated to supporting children, and that it should be pretty low, and that her children (2 of them) should get an equal share.

I remember telling her about a friend of mine who married a man who had two prior divorces. When he suggested that he and my friend should have a child, she said "heck no you cannot afford the ones you already have".:rolleyes:
 

CJane

Senior Member
Wow. It's simply shocking to me that a judge would allow Mom to move the child to the other end of the country when she had a caring, involved and supportive father in her home state, and Mom had repeatedly and maliciously violated the order when she was local.

What a crazy thing for a judge to do to a father who was fighting the relocation of his dearly loved child! And all Mom had to do is promise not to be a cow this time. *shakes head* what is this world coming to?
 

Antigone*

Senior Member
Wow. It's simply shocking to me that a judge would allow Mom to move the child to the other end of the country when she had a caring, involved and supportive father in her home state, and Mom had repeatedly and maliciously violated the order when she was local.

What a crazy thing for a judge to do to a father who was fighting the relocation of his dearly loved child! And all Mom had to do is promise not to be a cow this time. *shakes head* what is this world coming to?
:eek::eek::eek:Do I detect a bit of sarcasm in that post?:eek::eek:
 
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