Is this enough to modify orders?

[Ohiogal]

No I would take them to my sisters 20 min away and spend time with her family while I had them. Not selfish...

Actually yes it is selfish. Again, you want more time, MOVE CLOSER to your children.

 

[torimac]

If you still don't have a job outside the home, what is keeping you where you are? Is there a real reason why you can't move closer?
Unless phone calls and electronic visitation is spelled out in the order, he does not have to let you talk to them. Yes, it would be nice, but not legally required. He only has to have the kids available during the times spelled out in the order.
Here's the thing about dirt-it washes off. If it bothers you, give the kids a bath. Other than that, this is a parenting style difference.
It doesn't sound like he is violating the court orders, which means that you have nothing with regards to changing the orders.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri
Stay at home mom for 7 years lost kids to dad because judge said he would be a better coparent. Now it's been 5 months and kids cry to have to go there, I pick them up and they are dirty, clothes dirty with holes and not right size, he threatend me he would file assault charges against me if I cut my daughters hair, he refuses my phone calls half the time, he calls me all kinds of names on the phone and cusses at me, calls me an idiot, refuses time with the kids when I am off and he is working, calls new girlfriend to babysit not me, kids are exhausted and never can talk on phone, told me daycare is more important then time with their mom, when i want to talk about kids on phone he tells me whatever and hangs up on me... Do I have enough to go back and show the judge he is not the better coparent and get my kids back?

Was there a GAL or Law Guardian envolved in how the Judge decided?

 

[Lou123]

Was there a GAL or Law Guardian envolved in how the Judge decided?

Gal was excused before 2 day trial. Dirt may wash off but not being cared for and left to fend for yourself at a young age is not fair for the kids. I think have the right as their mother to be selfish and want to spend time with my children and they want to spend time with me. That was part of his argument that I refused time to him when he was off and now he does it to me and it don't matter?? I have a job and home here, our hometown for both of us. I moved closed to both sides of our family.

 

[Proserpina]

Gal was excused before 2 day trial. Dirt may wash off but not being cared for and left to fend for yourself at a young age is not fair for the kids. I think have the right as their mother to be selfish and want to spend time with my children and they want to spend time with me. That was part of his argument that I refused time to him when he was off and now he does it to me and it don't matter?? I have a job and home here, our hometown for both of us. I moved closed to both sides of our family.

What happens?

Do you call and talk to him? Do you turn up at the meeting place?

 

[Lou123]

What happens?

Do you call and talk to him? Do you turn up at the meeting place?

I call he hangs up if I try to talk to him or when we are face to face he walks/drives away.

 

[Astrolink]

Dirt may wash off but not being cared for and left to fend for yourself at a young age is not fair for the kids.

Irrelevant in court.

I think have the right as their mother to be selfish and want to spend time with my children and they want to spend time with me.

Irrelevant in court.

That was part of his argument that I refused time to him

BINGO as to more than likely a main reason why custody changed. Learn from your mistakes or continue to blame others and the family law system, and remain a long-distance parent. The choice is yours.

 

[Proserpina]

I call he hangs up if I try to talk to him or when we are face to face he walks/drives away.

I'm asking specifically:

Do you call Dad before visitation?

Does he turn up and tell you "no"?

 

[Just Blue]

Gal was excused before 2 day trial. Dirt may wash off but not being cared for and left to fend for yourself at a young age is not fair for the kids. I think have the right as their mother to be selfish and want to spend time with my children and they want to spend time with me. That was part of his argument that I refused time to him when he was off and now he does it to me and it don't matter?? I have a job and home here, our hometown for both of us. I moved closed to both sides of our family.

GAL was excused why? Was the GALs report used in the outcome of your custody order?

 

[Lou123]

I'm asking specifically:

Do you call Dad before visitation?

Does he turn up and tell you "no"?

I call everyday to talk to kids, if I ask to talk to him he says no or hangs up. We exchange at court ordered dates and times, anything extra is usually refused.

 

[Lou123]

GAL was excused why? Was the GALs report used in the outcome of your custody order?

Gal was used when grandparents intervened to get dads rights while he was in Iraq. After that never did anything else. Grandparents never involved until he filed then they want the kids, they had never even stayed the night there without me. So I refused to let them go and they intervened. The baby was 6 mo old and the judge ordered them to go there, with people she did not know and I had to leave them over a weekend.

 

[CJane]

Let me make sure I understand.

This was an INITIAL custody determination, as part of a divorce, and was only entered as an order 5 months ago. Is that correct?

If so, there is NO WAY you'll get a judge to consider modification. There just isn't.

Dad is not obligated to give you additional time. Dad is not obligated to do ANYTHING outside what is spelled out in the order. Cleanliness, etc, are not issues the court is going to hear. The ROFR thing is silly, given the distance between you guys.

My suggestion? Take the energy that you're currently putting into your anger and hurt feelings and sense of outrage, and put it into getting YOUR life together and on track, and being the best Mom you can be within the current situation.

 

[Eekamouse]

I call everyday to talk to kids, if I ask to talk to him he says no or hangs up. We exchange at court ordered dates and times, anything extra is usually refused.

He's following the court order so you have no complaint. Sounds like you are trying to be all up in his business and trying to run things and you don't have that right anymore and it infuriates you.

 

[LdiJ]

He's following the court order so you have no complaint. Sounds like you are trying to be all up in his business and trying to run things and you don't have that right anymore and it infuriates you.

I agree that she maybe has no complaint at this point (we don't know if the order addresses any telephone or electronic communication) but I don't see it as "being up in someone's business" to want that kind of communication with the children or to want extra time on her day off...particularly since she would be able to spend that time with them in their local community.

 

[Silverplum]

I call everyday to talk to kids, if I ask to talk to him he says no or hangs up. We exchange at court ordered dates and times, anything extra is usually refused.

That's normal. You get the time in your court order.