Is this enough to modify orders?

[Silverplum]

I agree that she maybe has no complaint at this point (we don't know if the order addresses any telephone or electronic communication) but I don't see it as "being up in someone's business" to want that kind of communication with the children or to want extra time on her day off...particularly since she would be able to spend that time with them in their local community.

She can want extra time, but Dad is in no way obligated to give it to her.

 

[LdiJ]

She can want extra time, but Dad is in no way obligated to give it to her.

I do not disagree at all. I just didn't feel that she was being "up in dad's business".

 

[Silverplum]

I do not disagree at all. I just didn't feel that she was being "up in dad's business".

And I'm not "correcting" you, just clarifying for the poster.

 

[Just Blue]

Gal was used when grandparents intervened to get dads rights while he was in Iraq. After that never did anything else. Grandparents never involved until he filed then they want the kids, they had never even stayed the night there without me. So I refused to let them go and they intervened. The baby was 6 mo old and the judge ordered them to go there, with people she did not know and I had to leave them over a weekend.

Yeah. Judge did a good Job.

And I am a Mom of two ... I would suggest you find another way to deal with the father and children. What you are doing is not healthy for you and the kids.

Good luck and best wishes to you all...

Blue

 

[RRevak]

He was in Iraq for 9 months and filed 1 month before he left, I was angry and did not send him gifts while he was there, that was used against me. We have rofr for more then 12 hours. He was not proven better parent just he lied and said he would get along better then I would with him. He filed, took items from the home changed bank accounts and changed evertything over to his mom before he left without telling me, I was angry. I let the kids talk on the ohone to him but I didn't send him a gift on his birthday and that was used against me.

I'm sorry but I call foul on the bolded. Not sending a birthday gift is in NO way shape or form enough fodder to be used against you in court when determining custody so right off the bat it sounds like you aren't being truthful regarding how much you kept the kids away from dad. So, lets try this again. Just how much did you deny dad time with his kids both before and after deployment?

 

[Lou123]

I'm sorry but I call foul on the bolded. Not sending a birthday gift is in NO way shape or form enough fodder to be used against you in court when determining custody so right off the bat it sounds like you aren't being truthful regarding how much you kept the kids away from dad. So, lets try this again. Just how much did you deny dad time with his kids both before and after deployment?

Before deployment none, we were together at the same house the day he left. After he came back he had 1 month off and got 3 of the weeks, I got one in the middle. On the gifts, in the judgement it says... Mother did not send father cards, letters, gifts or drawings from children. Also it said mother excused failure to send Father Christmas gifts from the children. I claimed the kids did not understand sending gifts to him, they were under the age of 2 yr. they did not understand what was going on. We talked to him on skype and they could see him, he wasn't gone to them.

 

[Proserpina]

Before deployment none, we were together at the same house the day he left. After he came back he had 1 month off and got 3 of the weeks, I got one in the middle. On the gifts, in the judgement it says... Mother did not send father cards, letters, gifts or drawings from children. Also it said mother excused failure to send Father Christmas gifts from the children. I claimed the kids did not understand sending gifts to him, they were under the age of 2 yr. they did not understand what was going on. We talked to him on skype and they could see him, he wasn't gone to them.

What I think as happened is that the Judge was clearly persuaded by Dad's argument that you would be the least willing and able parent and... well, he's kind of right. That's what sunk you.

The fact that he was deployed doesn't help you, either.

You failed to send him gifts for Christmas...because you thought you'd get away with saying they're kids and wouldn't understand? You don't see the message you're sending?

 

[Eekamouse]

Before deployment none, we were together at the same house the day he left. After he came back he had 1 month off and got 3 of the weeks, I got one in the middle. On the gifts, in the judgement it says... Mother did not send father cards, letters, gifts or drawings from children. Also it said mother excused failure to send Father Christmas gifts from the children. I claimed the kids did not understand sending gifts to him, they were under the age of 2 yr. they did not understand what was going on. We talked to him on skype and they could see him, he wasn't gone to them.

There has to be more to this story than you're telling. Were there more things the judge included in his decision that you haven't mentioned?

 

[Lou123]

There has to be more to this story than you're telling. Were there more things the judge included in his decision that you haven't mentioned?

He won coparent and he stayed in the home, I moved. All the other 8 facts I won. Now you see why every other attorney I talk to is also confused.

 

[Astrolink]

He won coparent and he stayed in the home, I moved. All the other 8 facts I won. Now you see why every other attorney I talk to is also confused.

You moved out of the family home and 2 hours away. I'm not confused at all.

 

[I'mTheFather]

He won coparent and he stayed in the home, I moved. All the other 8 facts I won. Now you see why every other attorney I talk to is also confused.

What are the '8 facts'??

Do you mean the 8 factors considered in a custody case?

http://www.moga.mo.gov/mostatutes/stathtml/45200003751.HTML

2. The court shall determine custody in accordance with the best interests of the child. The court shall consider all relevant factors including:

(1) The wishes of the child's parents as to custody and the proposed parenting plan submitted by both parties;

(2) The needs of the child for a frequent, continuing and meaningful relationship with both parents and the ability and willingness of parents to actively perform their functions as mother and father for the needs of the child;

(3) The interaction and interrelationship of the child with parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child's best interests;

(4) Which parent is more likely to allow the child frequent, continuing and meaningful contact with the other parent;

(5) The child's adjustment to the child's home, school, and community;

(6) The mental and physical health of all individuals involved, including any history of abuse of any individuals involved. If the court finds that a pattern of domestic violence as defined in section 455.010 has occurred, and, if the court also finds that awarding custody to the abusive parent is in the best interest of the child, then the court shall enter written findings of fact and conclusions of law. Custody and visitation rights shall be ordered in a manner that best protects the child and any other child or children for whom the parent has custodial or visitation rights, and the parent or other family or household member who is the victim of domestic violence from any further harm;

(7) The intention of either parent to relocate the principal residence of the child; and

(8) The wishes of a child as to the child's custodian. The fact that a parent sends his or her child or children to a home school, as defined in section 167.031, shall not be the sole factor that a court considers in determining custody of such child or children.

If that's what you mean, then how did you 'win' the other factors?? I'm pretty sure the judge did not say, "Looks like mom is the better parent for #1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, and 8; but not #4, so dad gets custody."

 

[I'mTheFather]

Why did your ex file for divorce in the first place?

 

[Proserpina]

What are the '8 facts'??

Do you mean the 8 factors considered in a custody case?

http://www.moga.mo.gov/mostatutes/stathtml/45200003751.HTML



If that's what you mean, then how did you 'win' the other factors?? I'm pretty sure the judge did not say, "Looks like mom is the better parent for #1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, and 8; but not #4, so dad gets custody."

(I know you know this, Father)

I think for some reason Mom is not understanding that, or how the whole thing happens to begin with. There's no checklist-like formula - anywhere. What there is though are points the court must or can take into consideration. That's what happened, and it looks like the court took her actions to be intentional and with malicious intent.

That can sink status quo right in its tracks.

Just to recap though, this does explain to a huge degree how things ended up where they are now.

He was in Iraq for 9 months and filed 1 month before he left, I was angry and did not send him gifts while he was there, that was used against me. We have rofr for more then 12 hours. He was not proven better parent just he lied and said he would get along better then I would with him. He filed, took items from the home changed bank accounts and changed evertything over to his mom before he left without telling me, I was angry

Mom, instead of doing the responsible thing, you let your anger control you and tried to punish Dad - and that's not your decision to make.

 

[Silverplum]

"...and changed everything (my spelling) over to his mom..." very likely means Dad made his own mother the beneficiary of his deployment life insurance.

He simply designated the person he trusted most.

 

[I'mTheFather]

I suspect the reason for the divorce figures into everything that happened afterward.