Ever hear of this?

[Flusstered]

What is the name of your state? PA Here's my dilemma, any advise is appreciated. I have 3 children, a 20 yr old in 2nd yr of college. 18yr old son, last yr of high school. 16yr old daughter, sophmore in high school. 2 youngest children live with father who has "physical custody" which I agreed to in divorce agreement. I pay $600/mon support, $20 goes to arrears. In addition, I pay for oldest son room and board at college. All of which has been decided in court. I did contest the college payments, but was still ordered to pay a portion of them. Daughter has decided she wants to live with me. Custody modification has been filed, hearing set for April 8. Ex has now decided he wants payment in full for arrearages approx $6500. This happened because the support order was prorated and while the court was determining if I had to pay for college or not, the amount they decided I had to pay was tacked on to the arrearages. My support payments and arrears payment are taken directing out of my paycheck, so they are on time and current. The payment I made toward my son's college was sent directly to his father, as he handles my son's college finances. He HAS NOT CASHED THE CHECK. He now says I'm in contempt, is taking me back to court on April 22. Question....what are the chances of getting custody of my daughter? (I am remarried, have a stable job, and my daughter adores my new husband and may I add, this was her request to come live with me) And...what do I do about this contempt thing. There's no way I can come up with $6500. What are the chances of him getting it and if they say I have to pay and I can't, what happens? Again, any insight is appreciated. Thanks.

 

[VeronicaGia]

What is the name of your state? PA Here's my dilemma, any advise is appreciated. I have 3 children, a 20 yr old in 2nd yr of college. 18yr old son, last yr of high school. 16yr old daughter, sophmore in high school. 2 youngest children live with father who has "physical custody" which I agreed to in divorce agreement. I pay $600/mon support, $20 goes to arrears. In addition, I pay for oldest son room and board at college.
All of which has been decided in court. I did contest the college payments, but was still ordered to pay a portion of them.

***How old is this court order? PA did away with college support.

Daughter has decided she wants to live with me. Custody modification has been filed, hearing set for April 8. Ex has now decided he wants payment in full for arrearages approx $6500.

***He can decide that, but a judge still has to order it, so his decision means nothing.

This happened because the support order was prorated and while the court was determining if I had to pay for college or not, the amount they decided I had to pay was tacked on to the arrearages.

***This is typical. Support orders go back to the date of filing, which puts people in arrears all the time.

My support payments and arrears payment are taken directing out of my paycheck, so they are on time and current. The payment I made toward my son's college was sent directly to his father, as he handles my son's college finances. He HAS NOT CASHED THE CHECK. He now says I'm in contempt, is taking me back to court on April 22.

***Do you know whether or not he got the check? Send him a registered certified letter telling him that you sent check #___ in the amount of $____ on date ____. If he didn't get the check, you will put a stop payment on the check and reissue a new check (via registered, certified mail). If he did, ask him to kindly cash the check. Give him 10 days (not business days) to respond in writing.

Question....what are the chances of getting custody of my daughter? (I am remarried, have a stable job, and my daughter adores my new husband and may I add, this was her request to come live with me) And...what do I do about this contempt thing. There's no way I can come up with $6500. What are the chances of him getting it and if they say I have to pay and I can't, what happens? Again, any insight is appreciated. Thanks.

***Since she is 16, she will likely be allowed to voice her opinion to the judge. The judge may or may not make the change, no one can tell you what a judge will do. Why not try to come to an agreement with your ex (and the judge) that you get custody of the 16 year old and in lieu of the arrears, your ex will not have to pay you support for one year, which will eliminate your arrears and avoid him having to pay support for 12 months. Don't know if a judge will go for it or not.

Since you are over $5,000 in arrears, a judge can do many things, such as take your drivers license and any professional licenses, can fine you, can order you to pay more per month to catch up, can even put you in jail. However, since your court order apparently already has you paying current plus an amount for the arrears, and your wages are garnished thereby making your payments on time and in full every month, I doubt a judge will do anything. You are following the court order, a judge will likely not find you in contempt when you are following the court order, as there can be no contempt.

 

[Flusstered]

I'd love to work it out

The court order, which was ordered by a judge, to pay on college was issued in October 2003. This happened because in the divorce agreement I agreed to help pay room and board in lieu of paying child support, which he agreed to waive. Little did I know at the time that child support cannot be waived. (we used one attorney, his, and now I'm paying for it dearly) And my attorney at the time said I could appeal it, but it would go to a higher court, which would cost me thousands of dollars (which I don't have) and that he did not handle those types of cases. True or not, I don't know. Can I ask for a modification or not? As far as working out an agreement with my ex, I'd be more than willing to, however, not to sound like a bitter ex wife or anything, but he won't reason with me about anything. He's out for revenge because I left him. Even though I took nothing from our marriage of 20 years except my clothes and $7500, ( which took 6 months to get) my net earnings from Jan 1 to March 29, the day I left him. Knowing the kind of man he was, I had hoped by not asking or taking anything, and I know I could have, he'd let me leave and leave me alone. Can the property agreement be challenged since I didn't have an attorney of my own? I just don't know anything anymore. I pay my support, I stay out of his way, (I had to move 50 miles away and leave a good paying job because he showed up at my workplace twice, and no I didn't get a restraining order because he never threatened me that I could prove), I gave him EVERYTHING and yet he wants more. What am I doing wrong, or not seeing?