• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Ex Boyfriend wants custody of baby born to married couple

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Status
Not open for further replies.

LAPF

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Florida

A few months into her relationship with the man who is now my daughter's husband- she found out she was pregnant. Due to the due date the baby is most likely the biological child of her ex-boyfriend, who offered no help throughout the pregnancy, except to send messages of harassment through mutual friends about how he was going to take the baby away from her- "if it is his". I guess at first she applied for assistance- and admitted to Family svcs. that she believed the ex to be the father. Before she received much (if any) assistance though, her (now) husband decided he wanted to marry her, and raise the child as his own. He signed the birth certificate and they were married prior to the birth of the baby. And her husband supported her through a great deal of the pregnancy, and has taken wonderful care of her and the baby, financially, emotionally, completely.

The baby is 3 months old now- and today she was served with papers that the ex- a single kid just out of high school- wants to establish paternity and take complete custody of the baby.

Has anyone had any experience with this? Any idea what we can expect here?
 


BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
Yes, someone has been through this. It happens every day across the country and the cause of it is children having sex and having children.

The ex-boyfriend is perfectly within his rights to file for custody and visitation. A paternity test will be ordered and if he is found to be the father then he will get rights to the child. What those rights are is up to the court.
 

casa

Senior Member
LAPF said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Florida

A few months into her relationship with the man who is now my daughter's husband- she found out she was pregnant. Due to the due date the baby is most likely the biological child of her ex-boyfriend, who offered no help throughout the pregnancy, except to send messages of harassment through mutual friends about how he was going to take the baby away from her- "if it is his". I guess at first she applied for assistance- and admitted to Family svcs. that she believed the ex to be the father. Before she received much (if any) assistance though, her (now) husband decided he wanted to marry her, and raise the child as his own. He signed the birth certificate and they were married prior to the birth of the baby. And her husband supported her through a great deal of the pregnancy, and has taken wonderful care of her and the baby, financially, emotionally, completely.

The baby is 3 months old now- and today she was served with papers that the ex- a single kid just out of high school- wants to establish paternity and take complete custody of the baby.

Has anyone had any experience with this? Any idea what we can expect here?
Let's hope FL doesn't prosecute for falsifying the birth certificate, since your daughter knowlingly did so. :rolleyes:

Your daughter has no choice but to cooperate to establish paternity. The father will be ordered child support and the courts will determine who gets custody of the baby. It's unlikely they will remove custody from your daughter, but fairly definate the father will get at the least, visitation rights to see his child.
 
S

seniorjudge

Guest
LAPF said:
...I guess at first she applied for assistance- and admitted to Family svcs. that she believed the ex to be the father....
This gives the father prima facie rights to see his child; it is up to him to enforce them.
 

LAPF

Junior Member
Thanks for your replies.
It would be illegal for a husband to take responsibility for his wife's child?
I forgot to mention that he forced himself on her- when they were breaking up- which she didn't push until later on (because he had been her boyfriend since middle school)- and that's where she says the pregnancy resulted from. He had become very abusive- and she has had restraining orders on him since soon after the break-up until the present. It's not like she just stole his child. He does not have the financial means to have a lawyer and has asked (in the papers) for her to pay. He was often like a fatal attraction- he even burned a classroom in middle school to get her attention. And shortly before the break-up- he put her cat in the microwave. Not parent material.
Thanks.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
Of course all of this happened. That's why you found that these little facts were not important enough to post until the answer you were looking for wasn't the answer you got.

Your virginal daughter isn't all you think she is either. So grow up momma. She had a baby with a boy. That boy is now petitioning the court for custody and visitation. The fact that he and she don't get along has absolutely nothing to do with his rights as a father.

If she was raped then why didn't she scream no, kick him in the balls and file a police report.???

Guess what? That's the story she told you.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
LAPF said:
Thanks for your replies.
It would be illegal for a husband to take responsibility for his wife's child?
I forgot to mention that he forced himself on her- when they were breaking up- which she didn't push until later on (because he had been her boyfriend since middle school)- and that's where she says the pregnancy resulted from. He had become very abusive- and she has had restraining orders on him since soon after the break-up until the present. It's not like she just stole his child. He does not have the financial means to have a lawyer and has asked (in the papers) for her to pay. He was often like a fatal attraction- he even burned a classroom in middle school to get her attention. And shortly before the break-up- he put her cat in the microwave. Not parent material.
Thanks.
Why did you leave these facts out in the begining?
 
S

seniorjudge

Guest
LAPF said:
Thanks for your replies.
It would be illegal for a husband to take responsibility for his wife's child?
I forgot to mention that he forced himself on her- when they were breaking up- which she didn't push until later on (because he had been her boyfriend since middle school)- and that's where she says the pregnancy resulted from. He had become very abusive- and she has had restraining orders on him since soon after the break-up until the present. It's not like she just stole his child. He does not have the financial means to have a lawyer and has asked (in the papers) for her to pay. He was often like a fatal attraction- he even burned a classroom in middle school to get her attention. And shortly before the break-up- he put her cat in the microwave. Not parent material.
Thanks.
But these allegations were not important enough to mention in your first post?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
LAPF said:
Not parent material.
Thanks.
Yet apparently adequate boyfriend material? I, too, have to wonder why none of this was mentioned from the get-go. I tend to disregard any of these "I forgot to mention" add-ons. If it was important, it would have been mentioned early on.

As for her husband? You hit the nail on the head - it is his WIFE's child - not his. He is a legal stranger to the kid.
 

LAPF

Junior Member
No, actually I didn't mention those things in the beginning because I didn't want to get too long and boring and I had no idea that anyone would want to be so quick to sit in judgement of her and see her in such a bad light. I know her and if the words I write (honestly worried about the future) make people want to be so rough on her- then I wanted you to understand, she's not perfect- but she's not bad. She has a wonderful heart and has been through alot- and if you were in her shoes- I wonder how many of you would be as sweet. THE BIBLE SAYS ALL SIN IS EQUAL- and God considers judgement as bad as anything. Look in Revelations- the very few last verses.
She was also valedictorian of her senior class- and took two scholarships.
And I didn't want it to be about degrading this ex-boyfriend. I thought I'd get more legal opinions- or opinions from experience- than a hate thing about my wonderful girl.
 

casa

Senior Member
LAPF said:
No, actually I didn't mention those things in the beginning because I didn't want to get too long and boring and I had no idea that anyone would want to be so quick to sit in judgement of her and see her in such a bad light. I know her and if the words I write (honestly worried about the future) make people want to be so rough on her- then I wanted you to understand, she's not perfect- but she's not bad. She has a wonderful heart and has been through alot- and if you were in her shoes- I wonder how many of you would be as sweet. THE BIBLE SAYS ALL SIN IS EQUAL- and God considers judgement as bad as anything. Look in Revelations- the very few last verses.
She was also valedictorian of her senior class- and took two scholarships.
And I didn't want it to be about degrading this ex-boyfriend. I thought I'd get more legal opinions- or opinions from experience- than a hate thing about my wonderful girl.

Well if all sin is equal- Then your daughter falsifying an official document makes her sin equal to the cat in the microwave, right? :rolleyes:

Sorry but things like rape- tend to go along with police reports. And when someone asks questions about concerns re; custody- again rape and violence tend to come up immediately when voicing 'concern'.

You may not like the answers you get legally- but you should know going in what the Reality is. In custody cases people say every awful thing they can about the other person- so a judge won't consider it unless there is PROOF. ie; police reports etc. So your best bet is to prepare your daughter to allow the father of her child to be in the child's life. Period. Her husband, though married to her, is considered a legal stranger at this point.

Your daughter may be a 'Wonderful Girl' but she is no different from many other fine women who learn by experience that they have consequences for their mistakes. Sharing this child for the rest of its life with the father is one of them.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Do you understand why the changing story is a problem in court?
Has she used any of her scholarships?
Of course she is going to say he forced himself on her, if it was rape she would have reported it right away.
She's your baby girl and you love her unconditionally, but the law has conditions.
If this boy was so unstable, why did you allow them to date?
If she was so smart to earn 2 scholarships, what hapened here?
First they will have to establish paternity by DNA, then the father will be ordered child support, perhaps a small amount, then the presumed father can petition the court for visitation, which might be supervised for a time until he proves himself. Sometimes rebellious children still make good parents, sometime very strict parents. So if she wants to limit the cost she might want to come to some sort of an agreement. She is not totally innocent of all of this.
 

LAPF

Junior Member
Thank you Met and Casa. I'm not sure what you mean about the story change. There are police reports. She's had restraining orders granted since
the breakup- I guess it was a pretty bad scene. He does have a history (documented) of bad behavior. As far as her being "allowed" to date him-she's 21 now and has been on her own for a few yrs. now. He is a couple of years younger than her so when she was still at home- it wasn't really a dating thing- more of a phone and in school thing- and we didn't really know him well then- he was like her old standby then- they went to prom etc.- but they didn't really date until she was out of the house- and then his mother pawned him off when he was 17 -and bribed her by helping out with the bills.

His mother put her on and paid for birth control- so don't give me the statutory thing. So, we didn't have much control at that point. She had her own place. Which his mother helped them get into and set up.

She did use her scholarship- and got more- and is just short of her assoc. degree. And she says she's going back when the baby is a little older.
 
LAPF said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Florida

A few months into her relationship with the man who is now my daughter's husband- she found out she was pregnant. Due to the due date the baby is most likely the biological child of her ex-boyfriend, who offered no help throughout the pregnancy, except to send messages of harassment through mutual friends about how he was going to take the baby away from her- "if it is his". I guess at first she applied for assistance- and admitted to Family svcs. that she believed the ex to be the father. Before she received much (if any) assistance though, her (now) husband decided he wanted to marry her, and raise the child as his own. He signed the birth certificate and they were married prior to the birth of the baby. And her husband supported her through a great deal of the pregnancy, and has taken wonderful care of her and the baby, financially, emotionally, completely.

The baby is 3 months old now- and today she was served with papers that the ex- a single kid just out of high school- wants to establish paternity and take complete custody of the baby.

Has anyone had any experience with this? Any idea what we can expect here?
If your daughter wants to fight him they can.....A lot of people may not agree with me but given she was married at the time of the child’s birth Legally Her husband is the legal father........She needs to get an attorney and have the motion dismissed based on the fact that the Father in the eyes of the law was not served as an interested party (talk to an attorney they will advise you of the law specifically for Florida. I am basing this on my experience in Illinois)...He will have to re-submit his action to include the legal father as well. I am not sure if you have a putative fathers registry in Florida but in Illinois if a man suspects he may be a father to a child born he has 30 days to file with the putative fathers registry to maintain his rights or risk loosing them. I am not sure of all of the specifics in Florida but from what I have read most of the laws regarding paternity establishment are similar.. In Illinois he would then have to prove that the legal father is not the bio father by clear and convincing evidence before he can have a DNA test. The law frowns on intruding in on an intact family...It could be very costly to fight this if the suspected bio father has money but if you have more money it is a good probability you would come out the winner....Money talks BS walks ask any attorney the one with the most money wins (by bankrupting the other party).....I know this sounds terrible but it happens all of the time and if a sad but true fact of the legal system.

PS- I am probably going to get a lot of flack for this so here we go......
 
Last edited:
~The bio. father has every right to his child. Remember, you are only hearing one side of the story. Most likely if the chld is only 3 mos. old, he will get visitation, and eventually overnights. It's not like the child is 12 and the father has just "appeared", he is making a responsible jump in the direction of being a father to his child. Unless he has a history that the court feels will bring harm to that child, be advised that he will be allowed to parent his child. Plus as stated before the new hubby and mommy may get in a little trouble for signing the birth cert. knowing who the real father was. Good luck, every parent deserves the chance to be just that.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top