I live in Oregon.
I have had full custody for 11 years. Ex was charged with assault, battery, menacing... felony 4, but he wasn't convicted. He choked me out in front of our then 4 year old (if it wasn't for the neighbors driving up I would be dead) and he beat me so bad the officer thought my jaw was broken (it wasn't , but I couldn't eat solid food for 3 weeks). This is all said because I think this is why my lawyer told me he will never get custody.
He and his new wife have tried over the years to get custody. My daughter has never wanted to live with him..until May of this year. She asked and I said no. I think they are offering her something as a bribe... maybe many things.. they are less strict in parenting for one. It's not that I'm super strict, but I wouldn't have let our 14 year old have a sleep over with boys and girls unsupervised. Who knows what else they allow. He has refused to co-parent all these years. They are both very manipulating to her and mean to me.
She and I have always had a great relationship. She used to say they don't understand her and I do, we laughed ALOT, and she always said it was nice to come home (from his parenting time - weekends).
So I was blind-sided when she said she wanted to move. I said no and for the remaining summer she has tried to convince me to say yes. We have talked, I've given her my reasons, we have been to counseling, and I've still said no.
I was served papers on Aug. 22. Since he and I do not speak and he does not see how I act with her, the only explanation of his claims have to be that she told him. The claims are that our daughter has attempted suicide 3 times due to my severe mental abuse.
He also stated that he wants to waive mediation because it has already been attempted in this case.
It has not. We have only had mediation once since the parenting plan in 2004. In 2010 he took me to mediation to lower child support. No changes were made.
I think his wife is unemployed right now and I am unsure about him.
The claims are unfounded as to the suicide attempts and mental abuse. I asked my daughter why he would say this and she said she doesn't know. Well, actually she said, "because you said no." She said she only attempted suicide once (July 3, 2014) (and that wasn't an attempt. The police officer, and staff at hospital, and counselor all agreed it was just a cry for help) she never even said she would jump. I only called 911 because i didn't want her to accidentally fall. She was on the railing of our 2nd story apartment and upset with me. I asked about mentally abusing her and she didn't have anything to say.
Because of her railing incident (she sat on it taunting me to jump) I asked ex for mediation and his reply was, "only if you submit to mental abuse counseling". I wondered where that came from at that time, as well as his reply to the whole incident. When I told him what she did his reply was, "Well maybe she didn't feel she had any other choice." What kind of a response is that to his daughter supposedly attempting suicide... ????? The whole things seemed planned to me.
She is a straight A+ student. All teachers and adults that she meet say she is very nice, sweet, intelligent.
She used to be so thoughtful and caring, then she turned 15.
So my question is this: If all of the information my ex supplied (the suicide attempts, mental abuse, and mediation attempts are lies, what will the judge do when we appear in court? And how should I be prepared? I think she has a few notebooks she calls journals that she has written things in that they think are evidence. ?
oh and the new wife has been in rehab three times for drinking, but never finished. When we lived next to her I witnessed her getting drunk every night. Our daughter even says she drinks a lot and told the officer she is a drunk. And she smokes cigarettes.
My daughter changes her mind about the reason(s) she wants to go... it started out that it's her step-brother's last year in high school and she wanted to go to school with him, but then come back home. She did not want to live with her dad and the new wife by herself. I've since found out that she has been chatting with a boy from Belgium who she is trying to get her dad convince to let him live with them.... So I'm thinking she would want to stay...
The hearing is Sept. 8th.
Thanks for any input
Shan_n
I have had full custody for 11 years. Ex was charged with assault, battery, menacing... felony 4, but he wasn't convicted. He choked me out in front of our then 4 year old (if it wasn't for the neighbors driving up I would be dead) and he beat me so bad the officer thought my jaw was broken (it wasn't , but I couldn't eat solid food for 3 weeks). This is all said because I think this is why my lawyer told me he will never get custody.
He and his new wife have tried over the years to get custody. My daughter has never wanted to live with him..until May of this year. She asked and I said no. I think they are offering her something as a bribe... maybe many things.. they are less strict in parenting for one. It's not that I'm super strict, but I wouldn't have let our 14 year old have a sleep over with boys and girls unsupervised. Who knows what else they allow. He has refused to co-parent all these years. They are both very manipulating to her and mean to me.
She and I have always had a great relationship. She used to say they don't understand her and I do, we laughed ALOT, and she always said it was nice to come home (from his parenting time - weekends).
So I was blind-sided when she said she wanted to move. I said no and for the remaining summer she has tried to convince me to say yes. We have talked, I've given her my reasons, we have been to counseling, and I've still said no.
I was served papers on Aug. 22. Since he and I do not speak and he does not see how I act with her, the only explanation of his claims have to be that she told him. The claims are that our daughter has attempted suicide 3 times due to my severe mental abuse.
He also stated that he wants to waive mediation because it has already been attempted in this case.
It has not. We have only had mediation once since the parenting plan in 2004. In 2010 he took me to mediation to lower child support. No changes were made.
I think his wife is unemployed right now and I am unsure about him.
The claims are unfounded as to the suicide attempts and mental abuse. I asked my daughter why he would say this and she said she doesn't know. Well, actually she said, "because you said no." She said she only attempted suicide once (July 3, 2014) (and that wasn't an attempt. The police officer, and staff at hospital, and counselor all agreed it was just a cry for help) she never even said she would jump. I only called 911 because i didn't want her to accidentally fall. She was on the railing of our 2nd story apartment and upset with me. I asked about mentally abusing her and she didn't have anything to say.
Because of her railing incident (she sat on it taunting me to jump) I asked ex for mediation and his reply was, "only if you submit to mental abuse counseling". I wondered where that came from at that time, as well as his reply to the whole incident. When I told him what she did his reply was, "Well maybe she didn't feel she had any other choice." What kind of a response is that to his daughter supposedly attempting suicide... ????? The whole things seemed planned to me.
She is a straight A+ student. All teachers and adults that she meet say she is very nice, sweet, intelligent.
She used to be so thoughtful and caring, then she turned 15.
So my question is this: If all of the information my ex supplied (the suicide attempts, mental abuse, and mediation attempts are lies, what will the judge do when we appear in court? And how should I be prepared? I think she has a few notebooks she calls journals that she has written things in that they think are evidence. ?
oh and the new wife has been in rehab three times for drinking, but never finished. When we lived next to her I witnessed her getting drunk every night. Our daughter even says she drinks a lot and told the officer she is a drunk. And she smokes cigarettes.
My daughter changes her mind about the reason(s) she wants to go... it started out that it's her step-brother's last year in high school and she wanted to go to school with him, but then come back home. She did not want to live with her dad and the new wife by herself. I've since found out that she has been chatting with a boy from Belgium who she is trying to get her dad convince to let him live with them.... So I'm thinking she would want to stay...
The hearing is Sept. 8th.
Thanks for any input
Shan_n
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