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Ex-husband can't make up his mind about his daughter and is causing problems

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M

Mich1

Guest
What is the name of your state? AR

My husband and I have been divorced for over 3 years. He has consistenly paid his child support, but has never been consistent with his visitation to our 7 year old daughter. On more than one occasion he has brought her home intoxicated. He has a DUI as well. He has forgot to pick her up more than once at DayCare without calling me.
He recently got married to a 21 year old (He's 42, I'm 27). His wife has never been away from her mother until now.

The child never wants to go with him and believes that we are punishing her for making her go. She says she feels uncomfortable around him and his wife. On 2 or 3 occasions I have limited his visitation because she screams, kicks and cries not wanting to go. It's a sad thing to see. He throws it in my face that he gets visitation regardless of the child's feelings. However, I must lookout for the child's feelings, too.

About 3 months ago, he agreed (in order to have more money in his pocket) to give up all parental rights and signed a document in front of a notary public. He was given 10 days to revoke his decision. On day 9, he did.

Since things were not going to change, I filed a motion to have him slowly work into this with his new wife until his daughter felt comfortable aobut this man and his wife.

In retaliation, he filed a lawsuit, asking for full custody and me make payments to him. That his new wife cares more for the child more than myself. I have had nothing but trouble since the divorce from him. I have a lawyer scheduled this week. Can someone out there tell me your thoughts. My opinion is that him and his new wife want to play house. The sad thing is that the child will be the one who suffers through all this.

Would the courts really do this?
 


J

JoandJa'smom

Guest
Mich, I do not think he stands a chance to get custody of your dd. Get yourself a lawyer and fight back. Make sure you document everything you told us about him. tell your lawyer about him bringing home dd drunk and about his DUI. Document everytime he misses visitation, calls to say he isin't coming, or anything that you think is relevant at all. Good luck, JoandJa'smom
 
R

Rowbear

Guest
You certainly have described a difficult situation and one that will last for years to come. Your pending court battle will not result in a change of custody but the inconsistent and unwanted visitations will continue. To remedy this situation you must change the living situations to a greater degree than it currently exists. Before I give you my advice be aware that most posters in this area of the forum have objected to my ideas and your decision should be based on complete discussions with your lawyer.

Since you are headed back to court to battle custody, consider adding the additional condition that you and your daughter will be relocating. This is the situation change you must be willing to commit to and will bring about a change in your lives. You will have to move your home, job, school, etc but it should be someplace far (ie California). In court present everything you have been enduring and that your decisions are based on wanting to be free of the duress. Your life in the long-term will improve but you will have to struggle for sometime to make your dreams come true.
 
M

Mich1

Guest
I wonder what's next?

The problems continue, but I have a better lawyer now. On Thursday, I met with the 2nd best lawyer in the county. I have her on my side now and she is ready to battle. However, to make matters worse, my ex-husband continues to harass me over the phone wanting to see his child. With the counter lawsuit he's filed, he thinks he now has the right to come and get my daughter whenever he wants. I'll let the lawyers discuss and follow her lead.

Does anyone know what happens from here? I believe there is a hearing next and then court.

Also I appreciate the responses. It's nice to have someone looking in from the outside give their honest opinion about what will transpire. I believe I have a good chance of winning this. It's also odd that you mention moving to California. My dad lives there and I've pondered the idea of moving just to get away from him. I'd live without the child support just to see her not cry when he comes by, not to mention how bad she acts when she returns. Thanks again for your thoughts.
 

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