ex-husband refuses to sign for passports and won't tell me his address

[ninaatje]

Washington State

I need help;
In short I'm an Americanized Dutch ex-citizen(don't have Dutch citizenship anymore) and joined custody over both my children who reside with me.
The father doesn't follow parenting plan and basicly uses the joined custody as a tool to control things.

I don't know where he lives but he wants to see the children f. e. and yes I let him since it affects the children if I wouldn't, but the main reason I need help;

The father now refuses to sign documentation for my children so I can obtain new passports. This is a right he tried to stop before during the divorce..but failed.

I never kidnapped my children or anything and I have the right to take them out of the country for 2 weeks to visit relatives etc. All my relatives still live in Europe and we have no family here.
This was granted to me during the negotiations.

I tried to reason with him but he threatens to stop me at the border etc. etc.

I have little money and frankly no clue what to do anymore. The joined custody is and has been a means to control me and that's really it.

I need some guidance in how to get this resolved one way or another without it costing me an arm and a leg. I work 7 days a week, can't afford medical, can't even afford to take my children out of the country for that matter but I need the control gone.

In case I have a family emergency I'm not even sure what to do. I know my ex-husband won't step in to help out and I can't take my children with me.

I moved here to stay with my children, endured numerous threats of deportation, acquired my citizenship behind my ex-husbands back since he didn't want me to have it since he would lose some control and the story goes on and on.

To clarify; I am not feeling sorry for myself and am very matter of fact overall but I'm dealing with a controlling person who has money and won't stop abusing his control. He knows I can't afford to go back to court and fight with him for months to come.. something I'm sure he will aim for.

Can someone guide me to someone who is going to be reasonable in helping me out.. I truly need things changed.

I live in Pierce County Washington State.

 

[mistoffolees]

You have a number of options, but none of them simple.

You could go back to court to ask for an order allowing passports.

You could go back to court and ask for sole custody (which would be harder and wouldn't guarantee that you would get the passports, anyway unless you meet the other passport office requirements.

You could find out what Dad's objection is and see if you can address it. Perhaps if you agree to put up a bond before taking the kids out of the country to ensure their safe return.

There is an option in the US passport system to get passports if the other parent is not available. It really only applies if you have no way to reach the other parent and have made a reasonable effort to do so. Since your ex is occasionally seeing the kids, this probably doesn't apply in your case.

 

[LdiJ]

You have a number of options, but none of them simple.

You could go back to court to ask for an order allowing passports.

You could go back to court and ask for sole custody (which would be harder and wouldn't guarantee that you would get the passports, anyway unless you meet the other passport office requirements.

You could find out what Dad's objection is and see if you can address it. Perhaps if you agree to put up a bond before taking the kids out of the country to ensure their safe return.

There is an option in the US passport system to get passports if the other parent is not available. It really only applies if you have no way to reach the other parent and have made a reasonable effort to do so. Since your ex is occasionally seeing the kids, this probably doesn't apply in your case.

Now that I think about it there might be one more option. She did say that permission to travel abroad was granted in her divorce. There is a slight chance that the wording of her divorce decree might allow her to get passports for the children without his signature.

She should get out her divorce decree and look over it carefully, and then contact the State Department to see if that might work.

 

[mistoffolees]

Now that I think about it there might be one more option. She did say that permission to travel abroad was granted in her divorce. There is a slight chance that the wording of her divorce decree might allow her to get passports for the children without his signature.

She should get out her divorce decree and look over it carefully, and then contact the State Department to see if that might work.

That's not very likely. Unless you meet the State Department requirements, they're not going to issue a passport regardless of what some county family court judge says. If you meet the requirements, then you don't need the court order.

If the court order says that travel abroad is permitted, then OP will have to sue ex for contempt to get him to sign the appropriate forms. Although I would first show him the order and tell him that if he doesn't sign that I'll be filing for contempt.

 

[LdiJ]

That's not very likely. Unless you meet the State Department requirements, they're not going to issue a passport regardless of what some county family court judge says. If you meet the requirements, then you don't need the court order.

If the court order says that travel abroad is permitted, then OP will have to sue ex for contempt to get him to sign the appropriate forms. Although I would first show him the order and tell him that if he doesn't sign that I'll be filing for contempt.

Actually a judge CAN order that mom can get a passport without dad's signature. Its not likely that the court orders address that, but there is an outside chance, so she really should look them over.

Otherwise yes, as I indicated in the duplicate thread (which by the way I responded to last night) court is her only option.

 

[ninaatje]

Thank you for answering. I looked at parenting plan and of course it doesn't mention specific about taking them out of the country etc.

I do know there is a recording of that though. Since it was brought up during the 'negotiation process' with the clerk of the court present. He lost 2 attorneys over his extreme behavior during the proceedings and they made him pay most of my attorney fees then since he was making things beyond difficult then already.

I really have bent over backwards or just ignored his demands and stuff since the divorce .. the easy way out I thought but it is never ending and am completely done. Obviously I am in a no win situation.

What if I would give up custody? I know he doesn't want the children. He spends not even half the time with them that he 'negotiated' in the family plan. I fought very hard to stay with my children and they are happy with me and really don't want to give up on them but I see no way out of this. I'm emotionally done.., no medical but had cancer, not being able to see my family, no support system, working 7 days a week; it's taken a toll and I'm beat.

It's clear to me I need to go to court regardless because I can't do it like this anymore and talking with my ex.. good luck on that one.. he enjoys these things and does them with intent.. anything to trigger a reaction is better then none is the way he deals with things.

He is very angry still even after we have been separated over 3 years now, divorced a little over 1.5 since he 'dragged' things.

Anyhow, does any of you know a reasonable priced attorney that can help me?

 

[mistoffolees]

Actually a judge CAN order that mom can get a passport without dad's signature.

Please show me the statute that says a county family court judge can order the U.S. Department of State to issue a passport.

 

[LdiJ]

Please show me the statute that says a county family court judge can order the U.S. Department of State to issue a passport.

All the judge has to do is give mom sole legal custody.

However, it is a state court issue. The judge cannot order the state department to issue a passport, but the judge can order that mom has permission to obtain a passport without dad's signature. Mom would then use that form you were talking about, and attach the order as her explanation.

 

[gr8rn]

What if I would give up custody? I know he doesn't want the children.

Are you serious? expect him to then "want" the kids to the point that he will control every aspect of your visitations and expect to see them less than ordered.

Seriously, don't try to call his bluff in this manner. He will definitely be more controlling if you hand it to him on a silver platter.

 

[stealth2]

In short I'm an Americanized Dutch ex-citizen(don't have Dutch citizenship anymore)

So.... you're an American of Dutch descent.

And - I believe the judge can order the other parent to sign the passport forms. The judge cannot order a passport issued, I'm quite certain.

 

[mistoffolees]

So.... you're an American of Dutch descent.

And - I believe the judge can order the other parent to sign the passport forms. The judge cannot order a passport issued, I'm quite certain.

Ld is right - the judge can order sole custody which would enable one parent to get a passport, but it's easier (and doesn't deprive the other parent of custodial rights) to simply order the other parent to sign the forms.