ex inlaw drama AGAIN

[Gum_Drop]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LA

Sons father passed away last year, ex inlaws are having fits because we got my son a dirt bike. (as does my hubby and our 6 yr old) He has protective gear when he rides, and enjoys it.

Ex inlaws are threatening court action to prevent son (14) from riding a dirt bike. Saying that I am being neglectful, and that it is grounds for them to get custody. Personally I think its because it is something my son does with my hubby, and they are upset because my son no longer "hates" his step dad.

Would this be something a court would hear? Could I lose custody over a dirt bike?

[Antigone*of*Greece]

Originally Posted by Gum_Drop

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LA

Sons father passed away last year, ex inlaws are having fits because we got my son a dirt bike. (as does my hubby and our 6 yr old) He has protective gear when he rides, and enjoys it.

Ex inlaws are threatening court action to prevent son (14) from riding a dirt bike. Saying that I am being neglectful, and that it is grounds for them to get custody. Personally I think its because it is something my son does with my hubby, and they are upset because my son no longer "hates" his step dad.

Would this be something a court would hear? Could I lose custody over a dirt bike?

Gum Drop,

Don't give into the drama. You are not going to lose custody over your son riding a dirt bike.

Tell the in-laws to pounds sand....say it nicely and with a smile

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by Wirelessany1

Gum Drop,

Don't give into the drama. You are not going to lose custody over your son riding a dirt bike.

Tell the in-laws to pounds sand....say it nicely and with a smile

ha ha!! i'd use a finger gesture!

this is ridiculous!! a dirt bike! what next? no shoes with shoe strings in case he gets caught in an escalator?? how about no food that he has to chew so he won't choke? maybe let's just tie the kid to a bed so he doesn't accidently breathe any toxic fumes outside from pollution! i coul dgo on for DAYS with this.....

shoot, give ME their phone number! i could use a few minutes of ranting at someone right now!!

[Gum_Drop]

Thanks Ladies, I assumed as much but wanted to confirm before I told them to take a flying leap.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Gum_Drop

Thanks Ladies, I assumed as much but wanted to confirm before I told them to take a flying leap.

Seriously, another parent would have a hard time making a case for custody over a dirt bike. A grandparent has no standing at all to make any kind of fuss over it.

However, do understand where they are coming from. They lost their son, and they are probably extra scared to lose their grandson as well.

[MCDATX]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

However, do understand where they are coming from. They lost their son, and they are probably extra scared to lose their grandson as well.

This is true but what they don't realize is by causing custody drama over a dirtbike, they are alienating themselves even further. They will sooner lose seeing their grandson by p*ssing mom off than an accident on a dirt bike.

[wileybunch]

Originally Posted by MCDATX

This is true but what they don't realize is by causing custody drama over a dirtbike, they are alienating themselves even further. They will sooner lose seeing their grandson by p*ssing mom off than an accident on a dirt bike.

This may be true, but if OP keeps the perspective that LDiJ gave her in mind, she can approach them very differently and even validate those feelings because they are, after all, very valid as far as the fear of losing "yet another" sorta thing. Cannot argue with that. I can picture it being possible that if OP lets g'parents know she understands their concerns in light of losing their son as a key point and that they are careful as follow up points sorta thing that the g'parents could well back down, however, if OP never acknowledges how g'parents are feeling, this situation could become very entrenched and ugly and result in total alienation on both sides.

[MCDATX]

Originally Posted by wileybunch

This may be true, but if OP keeps the perspective that LDiJ gave her in mind, she can approach them very differently and even validate those feelings because they are, after all, very valid as far as the fear of losing "yet another" sorta thing. Cannot argue with that. I can picture it being possible that if OP lets g'parents know she understands their concerns in light of losing their son as a key point and that they are careful as follow up points sorta thing that the g'parents could well back down, however, if OP never acknowledges how g'parents are feeling, this situation could become very entrenched and ugly and result in total alienation on both sides.

Yeah I agree that acknowledging the GP's concerns would help...if the GPs were acting like adults. For some reason I can't read the OPs prior postings. Her title says 'drama AGAIN' so I'm guessing this isn't the first time GPs have tried to pull a fast one. It just seems over the top that they would go so far as to claim neglect and threaten to sue for custody over dirt bike concerns. I would def get my feather's ruffled if my ex's parents came to me with that kind of threat....I don't know...just my take.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by MCDATX

Yeah I agree that acknowledging the GP's concerns would help...if the GPs were acting like adults. For some reason I can't read the OPs prior postings. Her title says 'drama AGAIN' so I'm guessing this isn't the first time GPs have tried to pull a fast one. It just seems over the top that they would go so far as to claim neglect and threaten to sue for custody over dirt bike concerns. I would def get my feather's ruffled if my ex's parents came to me with that kind of threat....I don't know...just my take.

The gps tried to snatch the child when dad first died, and failed miserably. Dad had primary custody at the time, and the gps actually snuck the child out past mom at the hospital.

However they did back down considerably after that.

[MCDATX]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

The gps tried to snatch the child when dad first died, and failed miserably. Dad had primary custody at the time, and the gps actually snuck the child out past mom at the hospital.

However they did back down considerably after that.

Wow...then that definitely puts things in perspective now.

[Gum_Drop]

if their fear were valid on face value I too would understand, however, they have only begun these recent rantings when it became apparent that step dad had found something in which to connect with my son.

He has been riding the db for about 4 months now,they seemed fine with it until he retells how his rides went, and step dads name is more involved as in, "step dad said I am doing great, I am showing skill, etc with different types of praise."

Son has also stopped visiting with the local aunt, and the animosity towards step dad is really no longer there.

And even though the CO was never signed by a judge, I have already purchased sons Plane ticket to visit them during the holidays. And I was extra nice and "gave" them the entire winter break.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Gum_Drop

if their fear were valid on face value I too would understand, however, they have only begun these recent rantings when it became apparent that step dad had found something in which to connect with my son.

He has been riding the db for about 4 months now,they seemed fine with it until he retells how his rides went, and step dads name is more involved as in, "step dad said I am doing great, I am showing skill, etc with different types of praise."

Son has also stopped visiting with the local aunt, and the animosity towards step dad is really no longer there.

And even though the CO was never signed by a judge, I have already purchased sons Plane ticket to visit them during the holidays. And I was extra nice and "gave" them the entire winter break.

That is really kind of you. Has he visited there since the whole mess started?

[Gum_Drop]

no, he was supposed to go this summer, but well he had to attend summer school. He does have unlimited contact with that side of his family.

I have talked with the gma, and I have set up a phone therapy conference for us. As I know that in the long run it will be best for my child. He loves us all, and we love him. I just think it neesd to be broken down and pointed out to gma, the matriarch of the family, that son having a good relationship with step dad is in his best interest. And once she "gets" it, she can do the same with the rest of them.

This is on the recommendation of my sons counselor, as she expressed to me my sons concern for not upsetting them by liking Step dad. So she referred us to another counselor in the same office.