Ex not following judges orders what can I do?

[Azmom]

What is the name of your state? Arizona

We went to court on 10/04/06, this was our first court date concerning parenting time( child support was done in 2004, $25,000 behind). He has not seen our son in 7 months(talked to him once on the phone).

In the current orders we were to both do drug testing hair folicle and urine. It was to be complete by 10/5/06 at 7pm. I did mine on 10/05/06 in the morning. But he chose not to do his until 10/06/06 at 8:45 pm( 15 min.before the facility closed). He also can NOT do a hair folicle due to the fact that he cut his hair to short. He will have to go to a medical facility in order to have it removed from other areas of his body.He has a long history of using meth and prescription drugs ( without prescription).

The orders state that he can call between 4-5 pm daily to talk to our son, also supervised visitation at Mcdondals 9am-11am on Sundays. But all of this is contingent on drug test coming back negative.

I was also told by the court clerk that I did NOT have to do anything at the current time, just do things the way I interperated them in court. Then when I received the minutes in the mail to begin following them. I looked the minutes up online so I have already seen them, but do NOT have the copy from the court.

I guess my question is "What can I do since he did NOT follow the orders?" He is calling everyday, leaving voicemail. Should I just continue to hit ignore on the phone until I have his results? His messages are getting to be a little angry at this point.

He has the same information that I do, so he should know all of this. My results were done and mailed to me by Friday. So he does have mine.

Sorry this is so long,and probably scattered, but there are so many details since this has been going on for 4 years now. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? Arizona

We went to court on 10/04/06, this was our first court date concerning parenting time( child support was done in 2004, $25,000 behind). He has not seen our son in 7 months(talked to him once on the phone).

In the current orders we were to both do drug testing hair folicle and urine. It was to be complete by 10/5/06 at 7pm. I did mine on 10/05/06 in the morning. But he chose not to do his until 10/06/06 at 8:45 pm( 15 min.before the facility closed). He also can NOT do a hair folicle due to the fact that he cut his hair to short. He will have to go to a medical facility in order to have it removed from other areas of his body.He has a long history of using meth and prescription drugs ( without prescription).

Bring this up at the next court hearing. Don't expect much to come of it though. However, it is best to get it on record that he isn't following the court order in case he decides to make a habit of it.

The orders state that he can call between 4-5 pm daily to talk to our son, also supervised visitation at Mcdondals 9am-11am on Sundays. But all of this is contingent on drug test coming back negative.

Then you need to follow the order once the results of the test are back.

I was also told by the court clerk that I did NOT have to do anything at the current time, just do things the way I interperated them in court. Then when I received the minutes in the mail to begin following them. I looked the minutes up online so I have already seen them, but do NOT have the copy from the court.

Follow what the court ORDERED, not what you "interpreted" in court. You were there in the courtroom so you know what was ordered. The Judge expects people to listen carefully and follow the orders. Whatever you do, DO NOT listen to what the court clerk said.
1. Court clerks are NOT Judges.
2. They are NOT attorneys
3. They are NOT ALLOWED to give legal advice to anyone.
4. They will not take the punishment for you when the Judge finds you in contempt for violating the court order.

I guess my question is "What can I do since he did NOT follow the orders?" He is calling everyday, leaving voicemail. Should I just continue to hit ignore on the phone until I have his results? His messages are getting to be a little angry at this point.

There's not much you can do other then follow what the court has ordered. That includes allowing him to talk to the child as the court has ordered. It sounds like only the actual visiting is contingent upon his test results.

He has the same information that I do, so he should know all of this. My results were done and mailed to me by Friday. So he does have mine.

Sorry this is so long,and probably scattered, but there are so many details since this has been going on for 4 years now. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Once you receive his results, if they are negative, you need to get the visitation started. HIS violation of the order does not give you the right to violate the order as well. As I said before, let the judge know he was late with the drug test so that you will have a documented record through the court.

 

[GrowUp!]

The orders state that he can call between 4-5 pm daily to talk to our son, also supervised visitation at Mcdondals 9am-11am on Sundays. But all of this is contingent on drug test coming back negative.

I would just like to add something here -- actually pose a question.

Does your order state EXACTLY that he can have NEITHER phone contact AND parenting time with the child until the testing has been completed? Reason I am asking is because I don't see any harm by the Father talking to the child, but I can see the harm -- and reason -- why there would be no parenting time allowed pending the outcome of any testing.

 

[Azmom]

It says " Contingent on drug test results coming back negative."
IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that Respondent shall have supervised parenting time with the minor child every Sunday from 9am to 11 am at the McDonalds on .
IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that Respondent shall have telephonic contact with minor child once per day between 4pm and 5 PM.

Our son does not want to talk to him on the phone. As soon as he hears him say hello he puts the phone down and says " I Don't want to talk to him." I can not make him speak to him. The judge was kind enough to explain to my ex that no one can force the child to talk.

I will follow the orders, but I took them to be that his drug test results were to be back first. He has still not done the folicle test, which was to be completed 10/05/06.

Thank you..

 

[Azmom]

Also he can not do the folicle test at the facility that we were ordered to go to ( since he cut his hair) and instead of going to the court liason and finding out what to do ( they would give him a name of another facility) he is going to wait until next hearing ( Jan.28,2007) and have the judge tell him he has to go somewhere else.

I think that he has shown that he is not going to follow any orders. But I do realize that I am possibly ( okay probably) a little to close to the situation to not get upset. The reason he does not want to do the folicle test is that it will come back positive.

In doing research yesterday, I found a protective order that was filed 05/13/05 against him by his former GF. I have had 2 against him as well, which have all ran there course of the year.So basicly he has had protective orders against him continually since 2002. They did include our son as well.

I do appreciate any and all advice.

 

[ceara19]

It says " Contingent on drug test results coming back negative."
IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that Respondent shall have supervised parenting time with the minor child every Sunday from 9am to 11 am at the McDonalds on .
IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that Respondent shall have telephonic contact with minor child once per day between 4pm and 5 PM.

Our son does not want to talk to him on the phone. As soon as he hears him say hello he puts the phone down and says " I Don't want to talk to him." I can not make him speak to him. The judge was kind enough to explain to my ex that no one can force the child to talk.

I will follow the orders, but I took them to be that his drug test results were to be back first. He has still not done the folicle test, which was to be completed 10/05/06.

Thank you..

You're right, no one can force the child to talk. However, you can't just ignore his calls. You need to start answering the phone when he calls during his court ordered time. If the child then refuses to talk to him, you are in the clear. If you ignore the calls, you are violating the order EACH TIME. That could mean 7 separate charges of contempt in one week alone. You should also be TRYING to encourage the child to have a relationship with dad.

 

[Azmom]

Would I be in contempt currently? Or would the contempt begin after he has a negative drug test result?

I had planned to begin answering calls after receiving his test results. I don't want to be in contempt, nor do I want to be( or have our son be) the receiving end of any more of his meanness. I have saved each of his voicemails. I also notified him( the day we had court) that our son is out of town until this Sunday. But he has still continued to call knowing that he is not here.

I do now have the official copy of the minutes, so I do have to follow them. His last message was that he will be calling, I better have our son at McDonalds on Sunday,"unfortunately supervised until a negative test result" ( his words).

I understand it to be that his results come first, before any of the visitation or conversations.

 

[ceara19]

Would I be in contempt currently? Or would the contempt begin after he has a negative drug test result?

I had planned to begin answering calls after receiving his test results. I don't want to be in contempt, nor do I want to be( or have our son be) the receiving end of any more of his meanness. I have saved each of his voicemails. I also notified him( the day we had court) that our son is out of town until this Sunday. But he has still continued to call knowing that he is not here.

I do now have the official copy of the minutes, so I do have to follow them. His last message was that he will be calling, I better have our son at McDonalds on Sunday,"unfortunately supervised until a negative test result" ( his words).

I understand it to be that his results come first, before any of the visitation or conversations.

Where exactly are the words "Contingent on drug test results coming back negative."? You may already be violating the order by not allowing the phone contact. Also, does the order stipulate that you have to have the results from BOTH tests before visitation starts?

 

[GrowUp!]

Would I be in contempt currently? Or would the contempt begin after he has a negative drug test result?

I had planned to begin answering calls after receiving his test results. I don't want to be in contempt, nor do I want to be( or have our son be) the receiving end of any more of his meanness. I have saved each of his voicemails. I also notified him( the day we had court) that our son is out of town until this Sunday. But he has still continued to call knowing that he is not here.

I do now have the official copy of the minutes, so I do have to follow them. His last message was that he will be calling, I better have our son at McDonalds on Sunday,"unfortunately supervised until a negative test result" ( his words).

I understand it to be that his results come first, before any of the visitation or conversations.

I would have to side with Ceara on this as well. I believe you would be in contempt. This is why I asked whether your order specifically stated such in your order. If you are not answering your phone, you are in contempt and denying him contact with the child. He very well can nail you on each time you denied him.

Same goes with parenting time. Until he tests negative, he will continue to have supervised parenting time. That does not mean that all contact with his child is suspended. That would be a huge legal problem on many aspects (& that's only ordered on very extreme/limited situations...and yours doesn't seem to be one of them). So you ex is most likely correct. But if you are denying him his parenting time, you are in contempt in that aspect of the order. If the child is out of town during a period of time that Dad is to have court-ordered parenting time, then you are in contempt.

The child won't be held in contempt. They are not bound by the order, the parents are. You best stop denying Dad his child. It sounds like you've dug yourself quite the hole.

 

[Azmom]

The words "contengent on negitive results" are before the orders. I have received one Urine test result of his ( done 5 days late). It did come back positive. The parenting time is set to be supervised until we go back to court. There are no review dates for anything to change before then.

As of right now he has had no NEGATIVE results.

So now what? Do I still have to be at McDonalds on Sunday?

Thank you.

 

[ceara19]

The words "contengent on negitive results" are before the orders. I have received one Urine test result of his ( done 5 days late). It did come back positive. The parenting time is set to be supervised until we go back to court. There are no review dates for anything to change before then.

As of right now he has had no NEGATIVE results.

So now what? Do I still have to be at McDonalds on Sunday?

Thank you.

NO! I wouldn't start any in person visitation until he is clean. However, you may be in violation of the phone contact order. It would be very unusual for a judge to order NO contact at all right out of the gate, unless the parent did something along the lines of abusing the child. It would be best for you to start answering his calls. You would be talking to him before the child. You should be able to tell if he is sober and coherent. If not, end the call. If he is, put the child on the phone. If he doesn't want to talk, you can't force him to have a conversation, but at least you'd be holding up your end of the deal. Even if I am wrong and you DO have the right to prohibit the calls, at least you can go into the next hearing and show that you are at least TRYING to cooperate and work with dad.

 

[Azmom]

Thank you...I will begin to answer calls, as you advised. I did set an appointment with attorney for the 20th. I feel like this has gotten to complicated for me to handle on my own. But of course money will be a factor, but first consultation is free....

The judge did go extreme with him, I am pretty sure it had to do with is behavior in court. She ask for a date of the last time he used drugs, and he could not respond with anything. He then went through the normal reaction and said it was all lies, then next sentence he said it was a long time ago, then said it was in the past. So i feel like it was his own behavior that has put him where he is.

Thank you again..

 

[Azmom]

Just spoke to court clerk. She said that I needed to file a "Notice of non-compliance" other than that just wait and see what the judge will do in January at the next hearing.

I apparently had a positive result as well. It was caused by my migraine headache prescription. The judge does have a curent list from my doctor/pharmacy of the prescriptions I am taking. But at this point it looks as if we both have positive results.

I am just confused!!! Should I even do that or just wait until January hearing to bring all of this up. if I wait until then it will be months that he has gotten away with not doing his folicle test, as well as putting up with his calls. Sunday was bad enough. Calls began at 8:30 am. I did call him back and explain that he had a positive test, but he seems to think that it doesn't matter. If I am expected to follow the court orders then why doesn't he feel like he should?( I guess only he can answer that one)

I am pretty sure that a lawyer is just going to cost money that I can't afford. I would rather do it myself, but....I'm no real sure if I can handle it..

Thank you to everyone who has given their advice and opinion.

 

[LdiJ]

Just spoke to court clerk. She said that I needed to file a "Notice of non-compliance" other than that just wait and see what the judge will do in January at the next hearing.

I apparently had a positive result as well. It was caused by my migraine headache prescription. The judge does have a curent list from my doctor/pharmacy of the prescriptions I am taking. But at this point it looks as if we both have positive results.

I am just confused!!! Should I even do that or just wait until January hearing to bring all of this up. if I wait until then it will be months that he has gotten away with not doing his folicle test, as well as putting up with his calls. Sunday was bad enough. Calls began at 8:30 am. I did call him back and explain that he had a positive test, but he seems to think that it doesn't matter. If I am expected to follow the court orders then why doesn't he feel like he should?( I guess only he can answer that one)

I am pretty sure that a lawyer is just going to cost money that I can't afford. I would rather do it myself, but....I'm no real sure if I can handle it..

Thank you to everyone who has given their advice and opinion.

I think that you should file the notice for non-compliance. You need to get it in front of the judge ASAP that he has not taken the hair follicle test....and that he deliberately cut his hair short so that he couldn't do it at the one facility.

As far as your test coming back positive....If the test results are specific and list the medication in question, and the judge has the list of the prescriptions you are taking, you should be fine.

I personally think that the way your orders are worded, is that dad is not to have any phone or in person contact with the child unless his results came back negative....from BOTH tests. However I don't have your orders in front of me, and can't read the entire thing for context...so I could be wrong.

 

[Azmom]

I took it to be no contact as well until both test were back.

I tried to copy and paste the orders but it would not allow me do it from the court website. The whole thing is 6 pages though, so would have been a long post.

Once again thankyou..