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Ex Parte orders granted...now what?

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fatherto3

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I am the father of 3 children. My ex wife previously had physical custody, I had visitation and we had joint legal. Recently, mother has been in the hospital (for reasons unknown to me because she won't tell me).

On Monday, my ex wife attempted suicide while the children were with me for the day. I was scheduled to drop them off at 4:30 as I do every day, but I received odd texts from her prior to drop off time while I was conducting basketball practice for our oldest child. I did not see the first text message until at least 30 minutes after she sent it, but before I could respond to her I received another message stating to tell the kids she loved them and that it wasn't their fault. I forwarded the message to my girlfriend and asked her to please call 911 as I did not want to alarm the kids. My girlfriend did call 911 and advised them of the situation and address of my ex wife. They stated that someone had already called and that help was on the way already.

Tuesday, I went down the the courthouse and filed for Ex Parte custody orders. I had to leave a message at the facility that I believed she had been admitted to (they can't confirm or deny someone is there due to privacy laws) to advise her of the hearing that was going to be held on Wednesday. About 2 hours later she called me and acknowledge that she received the message about the court hearing.

Today (Wednesday) was the hearing and temporary orders were granted for me to have temporary custody until a hearing on 2/6/12.

What do I have to do now? Do I need to gather proof she is mentally unstable? Do I need to subpoena her medical records, friends that she has confided in about how she wants to kill herself?
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I am the father of 3 children. My ex wife previously had physical custody, I had visitation and we had joint legal. Recently, mother has been in the hospital (for reasons unknown to me because she won't tell me).

On Monday, my ex wife attempted suicide while the children were with me for the day. I was scheduled to drop them off at 4:30 as I do every day, but I received odd texts from her prior to drop off time while I was conducting basketball practice for our oldest child. I did not see the first text message until at least 30 minutes after she sent it, but before I could respond to her I received another message stating to tell the kids she loved them and that it wasn't their fault. I forwarded the message to my girlfriend and asked her to please call 911 as I did not want to alarm the kids. My girlfriend did call 911 and advised them of the situation and address of my ex wife. They stated that someone had already called and that help was on the way already.

Tuesday, I went down the the courthouse and filed for Ex Parte custody orders. I had to leave a message at the facility that I believed she had been admitted to (they can't confirm or deny someone is there due to privacy laws) to advise her of the hearing that was going to be held on Wednesday. About 2 hours later she called me and acknowledge that she received the message about the court hearing.

Today (Wednesday) was the hearing and temporary orders were granted for me to have temporary custody until a hearing on 2/6/12.

What do I have to do now? Do I need to gather proof she is mentally unstable? Do I need to subpoena her medical records, friends that she has confided in about how she wants to kill herself?
First thing you need to do is take care of the kids. If you don't have them, go get them.

Beyond that, you will have a chance to show that custody needs to be changed. That will require that you demonstrate to the satisfaction of the judge that it is in the children's best interests to be with you rather than Mom. Gather all the information you can. Subpoena her records (although don't be surprised if you can't get much). Bring in witnesses. Subpoena her medical professional who treated her for attempted suicide. The more information you have, the better.

Beyond that, I would ask for supervised visitation for some time (perhaps a year or more) to ensure the children's safety.
 

fatherto3

Junior Member
Since this happened less than an hour prior to me dropping the kids off to her, (Our previous orders were that I have the kids M-F from 7am - 4:30pm because I am currently not working and she is...well was before all this happened) I did not release our kids back to her or her family and decided to keep them.

Currently, the kids know that mom is in the hospital again (she was in 2 previous times prior to this incident), her and her family have only told them that her medicine is making her sick and that's why she's in the hospital.

I figured I'd need to show proof, so now I need to start collecting my evidence. Even according to her...she's only sick because her medicine is causing her to have bad reactions.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Since this happened less than an hour prior to me dropping the kids off to her, (Our previous orders were that I have the kids M-F from 7am - 4:30pm because I am currently not working and she is...well was before all this happened) I did not release our kids back to her or her family and decided to keep them.

Currently, the kids know that mom is in the hospital again (she was in 2 previous times prior to this incident), her and her family have only told them that her medicine is making her sick and that's why she's in the hospital.

I figured I'd need to show proof, so now I need to start collecting my evidence. Even according to her...she's only sick because her medicine is causing her to have bad reactions.
And that's entirely possible. There are medicines that can lead to suicidal thoughts. Changing the medicine may make the problem go away - which is why you can't simply use her attempted suicide against her - particularly since the kids weren't with her at the time.

You're going to need testimony from experts. Probably depositions before hand. I would absolutely not be trying this without an attorney.
 

fatherto3

Junior Member
Thanks. The medicine isn't the only problem she has. She used to cut and stopped for the last 10 years..but started again after our last court appearance in November. She told the kids she broke some glass. But I will start looking around for an attorney for our court date in 2 1/2 weeks. The tricky part will be trying to have her personally served while she is in the mental hospital prior to 1/24/12.

Thanks again for the help!
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
You can ask for the hearing to be continued so you have time to prepare and to seek an attorney this will give you more time!
Maybe. 2.5 weeks is plenty of time to get an attorney and let them decide whether to seek a continuance. It may actually be better NOT to - depending on circumstances. Seek counsel immediately.
 

fatherto3

Junior Member
Urgent question

I now have another question.

Mother has now been released today from the mental facility from which she was sent to after 7 days.

I have ex parte orders that state she is only to have supervised visitation with the children with notice and a mutually agreed upon supervisor until our court date in 2 weeks.

Our oldest child has an event tonight for school that mom knows about. I am the coach of the team and my mother will be watching the youngest two kids during the game. If the childrens' mother shows up, I have no issues with her sitting with them, but what should I do if she tries to leave with them? I know I need to bring my court papers with me, but should I instruct my mother to allow her to leave with the kids and not fight with her and then just call the police?
 

gr8rn

Senior Member
I now have another question.

Mother has now been released today from the mental facility from which she was sent to after 7 days.

I have ex parte orders that state she is only to have supervised visitation with the children with notice and a mutually agreed upon supervisor until our court date in 2 weeks.

Our oldest child has an event tonight for school that mom knows about. I am the coach of the team and my mother will be watching the youngest two kids during the game. If the childrens' mother shows up, I have no issues with her sitting with them, but what should I do if she tries to leave with them? I know I need to bring my court papers with me, but should I instruct my mother to allow her to leave with the kids and not fight with her and then just call the police?
Wow that's pretty cold. Is that what you want? To do that to your kids?
 

fatherto3

Junior Member
No I don't want my children in harms way. But their mother thinks that because she was released she should automatically get the kids back. What should I have my mother do if the childrens mother attempts to take off with them? I will be coaching the game and not be able to know what's going on if she does.
 

PQN

Member
You have your mother babysit for the kids elsewhere. Do not put your children in the position of watching grandma and mom or mom and dad argue.
 

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