Ex Parte Temporary Order

[Zephyr]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

My ex husband was awarded a temporary ex parte order granting him full legal custody, supervised visitation for me, for 60 days while I was in the hospital (5 days)(nervous breakdown) no notice had been given about the hearing and my testimony was never heard- i wasn't there. It has now been almost eight months. I have battled with my own lawyer to address the temporary order or at least get the supervision dropped, I have spoken with the guardian and provided all necessary medical records, still to no avail. The gaurdian ad litem actually said to me " oh...yeah...we should get that back on the active pile" grrrr! we had already been involved in amending our original custody arrangement when all this occured (joint leagal custody, physical placement with me), ex never took advantage of his visitations, my son barely saw his dad for 7 years. How can they let a temporary order with a deadline go on indefinitely like this? next week is our big court date, I am concerned that this temporary order will be weighing too heavily on the judges mind for him to be able to see that I have provided for and cared for and loved this beautiful child by myself for all of his life without incident, I provided a very good quality of life for my son filled with many opportunities his dad would be too lazy to offer him. Is it likely because of my breakdown and temporary order for the judge to let my son remain in one of the slummiest trailer courts in the area, with a convicted drug dealer for a step mother, and most of ex's associate's have convictions as well? How can I convey to the judge that one breakdown does not mean I am a horrible mother? I have really been being treated as if I'm Charles Manson's sister, it is so insulting and hurtful. Any help or advice at all would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you

 

[stealth2]

Well, an ex parte hearing normally does only get one side of the story, and I'm not sure it was unreasonable considering your hospitalization. If your hearing was further away than a week, I'd suggest a different attorney. Hopefully you have proof of your allegations regarding the unfitness of his having custody, as well as proof of your own fitness.

 

[Zephyr]

I do have proof of my mental health status and have signed any release anyone has mentioned in order to be open about what happened and that I do not have a history of or any ongoing mental problems.

 

[Zephyr]

I am mainly concerned that one incident, in which my son was not involved or harmed, will over shadow that fact that I have been the only parent involved in his life for all this time, and now that dad hooks up with a single mom who thinks he should spend time with his son, all of a sudden he has all this interest in him, can the courts be that blind?

 

[snostar]

Eight months? Consider yourself lucky, I had to wait 2 years to finally get my side an ex parte order heard. I understand your fustration, truly!

 

[Zephyr]

Also, throughout this eight month ordeal, my ex has done everything he could to "twist the knife" about this supervision, we had agreed that our sons godmother and my mother could act as supervisors, somehow my mothers name got left out of the order, when I tried to see my son at her house he would not let me, his response to why was, " her name is not on the paperwork, so I don't have to let him go there". he knows this isolates my son from my family because my mother's back is broken so she cannot travel and the godmother has terrible allergies to cats, which my mother has. Can I bring these games up in court? He also would not allow my son to keep over half of the gifts I got him for Christmas and his birthday, why? because his step brother already has a tv and a dvd player and a radio, so my son doesn't need them, it boils down to they were nicer than the gifts he had given. How can he say my son can't have his gifts?

 

[snostar]

Your bringing back memories, unpleasant ones. Please tell me you have an attorney!? You can equest a Guardian ad litem to represent the child. Also speak with an attorney about a possible psychological forensic evaluation. And, document each and every incident.

 

[Zephyr]

I do have an attorney, although I have my doubts about his abilities now, we have a GAL but he has also seemed wishy washy, I have notified the GAL every time my ex has jerked me around about visitation.

 

[Zephyr]

I did volunteer to get psych testing again, but no one ever responded. No one really communicates with me about this at all. That is one of the hardest parts about this, it seems as if both of the lawyers that I am paying are doing nothing, they say they have done a lot of investigating, but can never show me any results of the investigations. It's so frustrating, they don't seem to understand that the future of a little boys life is at stake here. Is there any way to file any type of greivance about how this has been handled?

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

My ex husband was awarded a temporary ex parte order granting him full legal custody, supervised visitation for me, for 60 days while I was in the hospital (5 days)(nervous breakdown) no notice had been given about the hearing and my testimony was never heard- i wasn't there. It has now been almost eight months. I have battled with my own lawyer to address the temporary order or at least get the supervision dropped, I have spoken with the guardian and provided all necessary medical records, still to no avail. The gaurdian ad litem actually said to me " oh...yeah...we should get that back on the active pile" grrrr! we had already been involved in amending our original custody arrangement when all this occured (joint leagal custody, physical placement with me), ex never took advantage of his visitations, my son barely saw his dad for 7 years. How can they let a temporary order with a deadline go on indefinitely like this? next week is our big court date, I am concerned that this temporary order will be weighing too heavily on the judges mind for him to be able to see that I have provided for and cared for and loved this beautiful child by myself for all of his life without incident, I provided a very good quality of life for my son filled with many opportunities his dad would be too lazy to offer him. Is it likely because of my breakdown and temporary order for the judge to let my son remain in one of the slummiest trailer courts in the area, with a convicted drug dealer for a step mother, and most of ex's associate's have convictions as well? How can I convey to the judge that one breakdown does not mean I am a horrible mother? I have really been being treated as if I'm Charles Manson's sister, it is so insulting and hurtful. Any help or advice at all would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you

What you'll need is documentation- School/daycare, Dr.s records showing you had custody of your son for those years. You'll need to request a psychiatric evaluation at the hearing from the judge (be prepared to pay for it since you are requesting it).

Concerns are: What did you do when you were hospitalized? ie; did you arrange for someone to care for your son in your absence thereby assuring he was safe and still going to school etc.

Declarations of teachers, neighbors, family attesting to your parenting while you had your son and your mental fitness since. Any documentation from your treating therapists, Dr.s re; your state of mind now.

 

[Zephyr]

I do have all of those records, and my ex husband does not contest the fact that our son was with me all those years and that he was well taken care of while he was MIA. That is part of his reasoning for not being involved, he knew his son was ok, and he had his own issues to deal with. I have told both my lawyer and the GAL that I would take any psych test they wanted, when I tried to set up the appointment with the doctor to just get it done on my own I was told by the doc that since I was requesting the testing insurance would not cover it and the lawyer would have to request the testing in writing, I even offered to bring cash and prepay and they said the lawyer had to request it in writing, it would then be billed through him to me, of course my lawyer never did request it, I left him at least 10 messages regard that matter alone, and expressing to him the importance of responding in a timely manner since it would certainly take almost a month to get the appt, take the testing and get the results- still no response. I haven't heard from my lawyer in over a month.

 

[Zephyr]

Can a greivance be filed about how this case has been handled? Should I wait until after the final court hearing to file it?

 

[snostar]

Can a greivance be filed about how this case has been handled? Should I wait until after the final court hearing to file it?

I would say definitely wait.

 

[Zephyr]

I was just going over my paperwork for my custody hearing on wednesday, it states that wednesday is a motion hearing, I had filed a motion in jan to revert to the original order and get rid of the temporary custody my ex has of our son, could anyone tell me how I would find out if this hearing will be addressing that motion or the entire custody issue?

 

[Zephyr]

Found out that all issues regarding custody of my son will be handled on wednesday. I am really nervous about court, my parenting has never been in question, I am finding out that my husbands lawyer has subpoenaed (sp?) many people, why? I don't know, they have only ever had good things to say to me and about me. I thought after both of us meeting with the GAL several times both with and without our son that the GAL would then make the recommendation and the judge would make a ruling based on that advice and whatever supporting documentation there was. Will the fact that the biggest contributor to my breakdown was a viscious campaign of harrassment, threats and verbal abuse and that now there is an ro in place and I am no longer accessible to that person make a significant enough difference than if I had a history of and ongoing emotional issues? Should I take pictures of my modest but cozy, happy home and neighborhood and compare them with my exes trailer, in a seedy court, nestled in the corner of two major highways?
Help, anyone, as the day gets closer I am trying to bring every shred of evidence and every reason why my son belongs with me forward. any advice on how I can keep my sunshine will make me forever grateful!