Ex threatening to take me back to court

[paintedlove]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

In advance, thanks for everyones help with my questions! I will try to be as clear as I can with my situation. I'm not sure if its appropriate to ask more than one question in this thread, so I apologize if it isnt.

In 2008, I (Mother) was granted sole physical & legal custody of my daughter. My ex is the non custodial parent with exception to specific visitation rights. A. Weekends: Alternating weekends, and the right to make substitute arrangements in case of his conflicting military schedule. B. Military Leave: If he is away on military leave, his parents may exercise his visitation. C. Holidays: (we alternate with the years) D.Summer Visitation: He gets two, two week time periods.

The only kind of support required of him, is that he pay for her health insurance, and what it doesnt cover, we split 50/50. (p.s. there was 6 months that didnt carry any)

I dont know if this bares any relavance, but we were never married. We had two daughters together, and while we were going through a seperation (before any court) we tried to share the girls equally. While the girls were in his care one night, my youngest daughter died. The autopsy said that she was suffocated due to bed-sharing. This thus brought on our custody battle over our oldest daughter.

I tried to get "complete" custody, with out allowing him any visitation at all. That fell through. He wanted joint. I then tried for (what i was granted) plus child support. He was a no go. Then I said that I would drop all child support requests if he would just go with my proposal. He then agreed, and the rest if mostly above.. with exceptions to other details (regarding schools, telephone access, good faith, relocation, etc)

Now to my questions!... All of a sudden today he is threatening to take me back to court unless I give him more time with her. What kind of situations would I face? Can he really petition this court order, after he already agreed & signed on it in 2008? What if he was to serve me these papers while he had our daughter, and it was my time to pick her up.. could he refuse to give her to me until the court hearing?

Even though I have hard feelings towards this man, and his current wife... I dont want to refuse more time with him if my daughter wants to do so. I want her to make her own mind up about her father. So if I started to schedule more time for him to see her, in the future would it hurt me if we happened to go back to court? I've heard it may.

Any kind of help or insight I can receive would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

 

[stealth2]

My condolences on your loss.

Yes, allowing him more time voluntarily may result in his being able to have that extra time court ordered to him.

How old is your remaining daughter now, and how old were both of them at the time of your other daughter's passing?

 

[paintedlove]

Thank you, I appreciate it. My daughter is 5.

When the incident took place, my oldest had just turned 2, and my youngest was 4 1/2 months old.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you, I appreciate it. My daughter is 5.

When the incident took place, my oldest had just turned 2, and my youngest was 4 1/2 months old.

I am very sorry for your loss.

No, he cannot refuse to obey the existing court orders even if he files a suit to try to get more time.

Voluntarily giving him more time could result in a court saying that its "status quo" and awarding him that additional time.

If he files for more parenting time, you should file for child support. You really let him off the hook there, and should not have.

 

[paintedlove]

I am very sorry for your loss.

No, he cannot refuse to obey the existing court orders even if he files a suit to try to get more time.

Voluntarily giving him more time could result in a court saying that its "status quo" and awarding him that additional time.

If he files for more parenting time, you should file for child support. You really let him off the hook there, and should not have.

Thank you for your kind words.

Lets say that he does file, would there be any way he could ask the judge to grant a temp. visitation order until the actual court hearing?

I've been told that I let him off the hook before. As Im sure most court hearings are... all the stress was getting to me. I was just so ready for everything to be over. I had just lost my daughter, had all those expenses that we incurred. Then was also trying to file a wrongful death on my daughter against him. The county refused to reopen her case for me. He stole my car in the middle of the night while I had a restraining order against him. The car title had both our names on it, so he technically didnt steal it... so my only option was to file a civil suit. I was granted the money value of the car, b/c i proved that i was the sole payer on the car.. but i had no intrest in getting the actual car back, b/c i know he would of made it inoperatable for me. There were no witnesses to him violating his the restraint while taking the car. He was our flashing around all his newly bought expensive toys he got with my daughters life ins. money that the military gave him.

Sorry.. I may have got carried away. I just knew that I didnt need his assistance in raising my daughter. I would get by with out him. To me, his money was dirty.. everything about him was dirty. He could never play the whole "child support" thing against me to my daughter.. when it was clearly his choice to choose money over her. He has to live with that.

Thanks

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for your kind words.

Lets say that he does file, would there be any way he could ask the judge to grant a temp. visitation order until the actual court hearing?

Thanks

In this instance no, because he already has visitation orders. Temporary orders are for situations where either an emergency exists or the parent has no enforceable visitation at all.

Again, I am so sorry for what you have gone through.

 

[CJane]

My condolences.

Missouri does not typically do anything with regards to temporary orders. There are exceptions, but not many.

In MO, if he refuses to return the child to you at the end of his parenting time, you should call the local sheriff. If your order complies with statute, there is a clause that authorizes/orders the local sheriff to assist with enforcing the order.

I disagree with the filing for child support if you can truly live without it. It may be a can of worms that just isn't worth opening. HOWEVER, if he DOES file for a modification, by statute, that MUST include a child support determination.

Basically, if you're served with mod paperwork, come back and tell us what he's asking for.