Ex -unable to transport child

[judgedanelle]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ
My ex-husband is having surgery an during his hospital and after during recovery he will be unable to drive. We live in the same town, are divorced 10 years, have a 14 year old daughter with shared custody and he has always transported her back and forth for his time with her. During the past 10 years he has made physical threats to me and others associated with me, trespassed on my property and tried his hardest to turn our daughter against me. She see all this and recently said she was tired of it and while not yet willing to speak up about it to him would like to spend more time at my home is he is OK with it without it being a fight.
Apparently she is unhappy with the fact that he expects her to take care of him when she is there. For a while he had custody of his son from another relationship and she was expected to care for him as well.
I do not want to go near his home anytime he is there as the last time I dropped our daughter off he opened my passenger door, grabbed my keys out of the ignition and when I started to call the police he threw them at me. I have managed this relationship by simply avoiding his as I have felt a restraining order would be harsh. I want to know if I am in any way obligated to transport our daughter to the hospital or to his home for his time with her or can I simply say I am unavailable and it is his situation to resolve.

 

[BL]

Is there anyone in his home that can help out during his visitation times when he is at home recovering?

If so ,what is wrong with dropping the 14 yr. old off at the curb and watching her enter his residence?

What do the orders state about pick ups and drop offs?

You certainly would not be required to take the child to the hospital for visits.

 

[judgedanelle]

Response

Is there anyone in his home that can help out during his visitation times when he is at home recovering?

If so ,what is wrong with dropping the 14 yr. old off at the curb and watching her enter his residence?

What do the orders state about pick ups and drop offs?

You certainly would not be required to take the child to the hospital for visits.

There is no one to help him that I know of. There is nothing in our custody agreement regarding pickup/drop off. I simply do not want to go near his home. I do not trust him to not make a scene in some way.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Your real question is whether or not you can deny his visitations because he can't pick up/drop off, and your daughter doesn't want to go, right? What about your son?

 

[nocontact]

Your real question is whether or not you can deny his visitations because he can't pick up/drop off, and your daughter doesn't want to go, right? What about your son?

I don't think it's her son. If I am reading it correctly, it's his son from another relationship.

 

[I'mTheFather]

I don't think it's her son. If I am reading it correctly, it's his son from another relationship.

I was referring to her 14 year old son who was mentioned in her May thread.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-support-98/collecting-back-support-605964.html#post3264727

 

[nocontact]

I was referring to her 14 year old son who was mentioned in her May thread.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-support-98/collecting-back-support-605964.html#post3264727

Thank you for the link. My apologies...

Now I'm confused. She has twins?

 

[I'mTheFather]

Thank you for the link. My apologies...

You're welcome and no need.

Now I'm confused. She has twins?

That's a good question.

OP, if your order is silent on the transportation, then you're equally responsible for making sure the child gets where he/she is supposed to be. If you're so concerned about a confrontation, drop the child off a few houses down the block and watch until he/she gets inside, or until you see your ex.

If you want to modify the custody arrangement, it is not your child's job to do so. It's your job and you will have to go back to court. Talk to an attorney.

 

[stealth2]

Also have a friend/family member accompany you on the transport.