Ex wants custody of my daughter

[cajunmomma]

If dad takes her back, mom can look at having SUPERVISED visitation due to the fact that she is actively attempting to alienate the child from dad.

SUPERVISED visitation????? I have never laid a hand on my child or done anything inappropriate to her! Why would I go from having physical custody to supervised visitation????

He lives three states away now! I am not going to have my child that far from me!

 

[Ohiogal]

I really don't think it's fair for you to say I am a bad parent when you don't know me. My daughter and I are best friends and I will always do what I think is best to protect her. When her grandmother asked her to testify, she wanted to. I didn't tell her too. He is trying to say that I brainwashed her.

YOU ALLOWED HER TO TESTIFY. You should have said NO. You should have been a parent and not allowed her to testify against her father. Instead you USED YOUR DAUGHTER to your own ends. Congrats. I can see why dad is saying you brainwashed her. You already alienated her.

He has already filed for sole custody and a change in the visitation order if he doesn't get custody. What else am I supposed to do? Why would I file something when he already has?

Again, more gumbo. May dad win.

Another thing is he and his fiancee live together. Supposedly they were getting married this summer but when this custody fight with his mom happened, they decided to wait because they were spending their money on that case. But my daughter says that she doesn't think they had plans made for the wedding. Can't I use it agianst him that he is living with her?

Why?

My friend's dad that is a lawyer said the judge won't care because we lived together and the court order doesn't say anythign about it but I think it's different because I have a stable home and he doesnt.

You are a hypocrite. You were fine spreading your legs outside of marriage but because he found a younger, newer model you are upset? Oh and yes I dont' care that you are married because your jealousy comes through loud and clear. I can understand why your husband would be so angry. If you would spend half your energy on loving him as you do on finding ways to belittle and alienate your ex due to your jealousy, hubby would be on cloud nine.

Rushia, I don't like her acting like she is her mom. We have in our papers that everyone is supposed to encourage the child's relationship with the other parent, and I don't see how she is doing that wehn she acts like a mom to her.

Oh that is rich. Because YOU are so encouraging the child's relationship. That is why you had her testify against him because that ENCOURAGES his relationship with her and vice versa. That is why you REFUSED to follow the visitation court order -- because that ENCOURAGES the relationship between daughter and dad. Should I continue? Seriously, do you have a brain? Girlfriend is nice and you say that is wrong. YOU are a bitter vindictive wench and you think that is appropriate?

So I'm supposed to just call him even though court is next month and offer for him to pick her up for a weekend?

Truthfully you need to do so much more. May dad get sole custody and you get supervised visits.

 

[Ohiogal]

SUPERVISED visitation????? I have never laid a hand on my child or done anything inappropriate to her! Why would I go from having physical custody to supervised visitation????

He lives three states away now! I am not going to have my child that far from me!

Beacuse you have engaged in severe alienation of your child from her father. You will not allow your child to go three states from you? really? She is a teenager who will be going to college. May she decide to try a semester abroad. I hope she runs as far from you as possible.

 

[>Charlotte<]

In your world: your daughter doesn't have to see her father, you get to decide how her father speaks to her, all subjects of conversation between her and her father's wife must be approved by you, a teenager isn't old enough to fly alone, and Dad must be exactly the kind of parent you want him to be. You need to accept that your world stops at your front door, which is where the real world begins.

You can't just take it upon yourself to defy the court order, no matter how justified you think you are. If the judge believes you're interfering with the father's rights, you could very well lose custody.

Obey the court order to the letter. If you want any changes to be made do it properly.

To put it bluntly: you're about to be smacked upside the head with a great big reality stick. Be very careful.

 

[cajunmomma]

Ohiogal, I may not have gone to college because I was busy raising my daughter but I'm not dumb. I am NOT bitter or a hypocryte either. I am the one one who left him! How am I bitter when he was begging me to come back?

Me and my husband provide a good healthy home for her. We let her be a teenager and have fun and she is a honors student. I stay at home to take care of my son so I am home when she gets home from school.

My ex and his fiancee are too strict with her and he gets mad at me because I don't tell him everything the school says but maybe he should be more involved with my daughter before he tries to do this! Maybe if he lived closer he wouldn't need me to tell him what is going on. Plus like I said I am a stay at home mom. He and his fiancee are both in school and work and I don't even know why his fiancee is back in school because she supposedly already graduated from college. I think it is an excuse. Plus she is supposedly involved with his daughter that lives there with them but she is not a mom so I don't know how any judge would expect her to know how to raise a teenager! And I know it would be her becuase my ex really doesn't care! He is just doing this because he is mad that me and her got involved with this case his mom has against him.

I don't know what else I am supposed to do beside see him in court because she is in school and has alot of activities too so there is no time for her to go see him. He needs to come here if he wants to see her. And why did that first poster say he didn't have a chance but you say that I'm going to lose.

 

[cajunmomma]

In your world: your daughter doesn't have to see her father, you get to decide how her father speaks to her, all subjects of conversation between her and her father's wife must be approved by you, a teenager isn't old enough to fly alone, and Dad must be exactly the kind of parent you want him to be. You need to accept that your world stops at your front door, which is where the real world begins.

They are not supposed to talk bad about me and my husband to her. So yes they shouldn't talk about something with her without me knowing about it, especially because I am her mother and I should know what is being told to my daughter. When she tells my daughter stuff like college it makes me look bad because then my daughter asks me questions about what she said and I don't know how to answer her.

And Ohiogal I know I didn't always make good decisions but at least I have learned from my mistakes and got married. He is still sleeping around with some girl he's not married to! What kind of example is that?

 

[Banned_Princess]

Ohiogal, I may not have gone to college because I was busy raising my daughter but I'm not dumb. I am NOT bitter or a hypocryte either. I am the one one who left him! How am I bitter when he was begging me to come back?

Me and my husband provide a good healthy home for her. We let her be a teenager and have fun and she is a honors student. I stay at home to take care of my son so I am home when she gets home from school.

My ex and his fiancee are too strict with her and he gets mad at me because I don't tell him everything the school says but maybe he should be more involved with my daughter before he tries to do this! Maybe if he lived closer he wouldn't need me to tell him what is going on. Plus like I said I am a stay at home mom. He and his fiancee are both in school and work and I don't even know why his fiancee is back in school because she supposedly already graduated from college. I think it is an excuse. Plus she is supposedly involved with his daughter that lives there with them but she is not a mom so I don't know how any judge would expect her to know how to raise a teenager! And I know it would be her becuase my ex really doesn't care! He is just doing this because he is mad that me and her got involved with this case his mom has against him.

I don't know what else I am supposed to do beside see him in court because she is in school and has alot of activities too so there is no time for her to go see him. He needs to come here if he wants to see her. And why did that first poster say he didn't have a chance but you say that I'm going to lose.

That was before the whole extent of the alienation and stupidity and disregard for court orders was reveled.


****Ohiogal is Right, and I hope it goes from her keyboard to gods ears.****

 

[Banned_Princess]

They are not supposed to talk bad about me and my husband to her. So yes they shouldn't talk about something with her without me knowing about it, especially because I am her mother and I should know what is being told to my daughter.

You are all wrong. You can not dictate what other people talk to your daughter about. PERIOD

When she tells my daughter stuff like college it makes me look bad because then my daughter asks me questions about what she said and I don't know how to answer her.

Well then maybe you should encourage your daughter to talk to her dads girlfriend about it, someone who knows. Instead of deciding since you dont know, she shouldn't either.

And Ohiogal I know I didn't always make good decisions but at least I have learned from my mistakes and got married. He is still sleeping around with some girl he's not married to! What kind of example is that?

That is the most hypocritical thing I have ever heard. Maybe you should try to teach your daughter not to judge people that way, since you should be judged too.

You are totally jealous of your ex's relationship. Its obvious to us, and the judge is going to see it too. Nevemind the multiple violations of the court order and the alienation that is an extreme No NO. Please get yourself an extremely expensive lawyer to defend you because you are going to need it.

You need to learn you are not queen of the world and I hope your Ex gets full custody, and you get supervised visits.

Now, can we lock this thread?

 

[>Charlotte<]

I don't know if you just can't get it, or you just refuse to get it, but you don't get it.

It's very simple. Dad is allowed to be the kind of parent he wants to be. You don't have the right to interfere with that. And whether or not his wife is going back to school or already has a degree or anything else is none of your business. Most of this is none of your business.

You can be as stubborn as you want to be on this site with no consequences, but if you're this belligerent to the judge you run a serious risk of losing custody. It's as simple as that. If you want to take that risk, go right ahead.

He's sleeping around with some girl he's not married to

Are you serious? You did the same thing! How dense can you be? His attorney is going to have you for lunch.

 

[cajunmomma]

I realize that yall are saying that you think I'm going to lose custody, though I still dont agree because I know my daughter will tell the judge that she does not want to go live with her dad, but you're not telling me what I should do. I though this was a advice forum!

And I am really not jealous of that scum and his schoolgirl! If I was jealous I wouldn't have left him in the first place!

 

[Banned_Princess]

I realize that yall are saying that you think I'm going to lose custody, though I still dont agree because I know my daughter will tell the judge that she does not want to go live with her dad, but you're not telling me what I should do. I though this was a advice forum!

And I am really not jealous of that scum and his schoolgirl! If I was jealous I wouldn't have left him in the first place!

We told you what to do. (Pray and get a good lawyer)

Of course you dont believe us, your dumb.

I dont think if you were jealous you wouldn't have left him, and that doesn't even make sense. because if you were happy to be in your own relationship, and honestly not want to be with ex (or have Ex heartbroken over you forever) then you and him and his WOMAN would get along. It has been 14 years. get over him and get along with him.

Get over yourself and get your daughter on the plane and start begging for forgiveness for the stupidity of allowing your daughter to testify against him.


YOU ARE NOT GETTING IT. YOU DO NOT DICTATE ANYTHING.


Please lock this thread seniors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[>Charlotte<]

I realize that yall are saying that you think I'm going to lose custody

I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm not saying you're going to lose custody. I'm saying if you don't wake up and understand the reality of your situation you are at risk of losing custody.

I know my daughter will tell the judge that she does not want to go live with her dad

Guess what one of the biggest myths about custody is?

but you're not telling me what I should do. I though this was a advice forum!

It is. But you seem to want it to be a "tell me I'm right" forum. Nobody's going to tell you that, because you're not. You are being told what to do. You're being told to stop trying to control what you can't control.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Please lock this thread seniors

It doesn't work that way.

 

[Proserpina]

I realize that yall are saying that you think I'm going to lose custody, though I still dont agree because I know my daughter will tell the judge that she does not want to go live with her dad, but you're not telling me what I should do. I though this was a advice forum!

And I am really not jealous of that scum and his schoolgirl! If I was jealous I wouldn't have left him in the first place!

It is indeed an advice forum.

It is not a "please pander to my every whim and tell me only what I want to hear" forum.

 

[Banned_Princess]

It doesn't work that way.

It doesnt? it has in the past! ok.