Ex Wife is breaking court order "moral clause"

[f8al2u]

What is the name of your state? Mississippi

My husband was divorced from his ex last April. He was given Joint legal custody with visitation and the 8 year old son stays with her. It is stated in the divorce papers that no one that isn't blood related can be in the home while the child is present from the hours of 10pm-8am. However, we were supposed to get his son this afternoon to spend the night (it was agreed upon) due to next sunday being Mother's day and she would want to have their son. He tried to call several times to find out where his son was, as the day was getting late. She never would answer the phone. He called again about at 8:21pm and she had cut off her cell phone. He called the house phone and it would just ring. This has been happening a lot lately. She hinders phone contact. We later went to eat and on the way home drove past her home. We felt we had a legitimate reason to drive past the home since we never got a call back and he was supposed to get him tonight.

There was another vehicle sitting in the drive, by now it was 10:20 pm. This vehicle does not belong to any relatives that he is aware of. The mother has a habit of thinking that she can get away with anything. She constantly threatens to do all kinds of things...

So our Question is: How do we go about proving that she is breaking court order? We would like for his son to be with us.

She has also stated ( honestly Bragged) that she is pregnant for 2nd time in 7 months and that the father works out of town during the week, so it makes sense that he would be there on a sunday night.

She has been reminded that she couldn't have men over after 10pm Since she is not married, but she stated that it (the court order) was no longer in effect because he and I are married now. That the court order meant nothing to do with her and voided that clause in the papers.

My husband's 8 year old has said that "Mom has a lot of boyfriend's" He only knows a few of them. We don't push for answers, he pretty much just says stuff randomly. This is when she was reminded of the clause.

My husband is not nor has he ever been late on child support. He even paid when he wasn't "court ordered" to pay to avoid back child support because she was dragging the process out. He loves his son and would never want him to be without.

The 8 year old said last sunday to the both us in the car, "Mom says all the time you don't want me." Which is infuriating. Nothing is further from the truth. We basically have to detox his son and reassure him that we want and love him. It's crazy!!!

Please any advice would be helpful!!!
This isn't a case of "bad dad" or "Dead beat dad" at all. I wouldn't want anything to do with a man that was!!What is the name of your state?

 

[stealth2]

Dad would have to PROVE that she has men staying the night. And the word of an 8yo isn't proof.

 

[Isis1]

There was another vehicle sitting in the drive, by now it was 10:20 pm. This vehicle does not belong to any relatives that he is aware of. The mother has a habit of thinking that she can get away with anything. She constantly threatens to do all kinds of things...

and you know for an absolute fact no relative owns this vehicle? or even borrowed the vehicle from a friend? you ran the plates? you knew the child was physically in the house and not spending the night at a friends house while this car was in the drive way? it wasn't your court ordered visitation? so you went by mom's house on her time? sounds like stalking to me. and being pregnant doesn't mean she broke a court order. not everyone has sex only between 10pm and 8am. you being a witness to this car hold no credibility. you have an agenda.

is the only reason DAD is out to get MOM is to retain custody?

if HIS child is having issues with DAD and MOM's separation, maybe a little therapy might be in order. maybe DAD might find some better responses to answer child's comments.

out of curiousity, what does the court order exactly say? word for word? does it give room for "in the event of marriage"?

 

[stealth2]

We're on the same wavelength, Isabella.

Another question... Was Dad (DAD, not "we") supposed to have the child due to a court order, or was it something kind of agreed to by Mom & Dad?

 

[Ohiogal]

Let me get this straight -- your husband's court order states that

no one that isn't blood related can be in the home while the child is present from the hours of 10pm-8am

correct?

So that means YOU LEAVE when your stepson is spending the night with your husband, correct? If not then hubby is breaking the morals clause too. Jeez.. Pot meet kettle.

 

[f8al2u]

and you know for an absolute fact no relative owns this vehicle? or even borrowed the vehicle from a friend? you ran the plates? you knew the child was physically in the house and not spending the night at a friends house while this car was in the drive way? it wasn't your court ordered visitation? so you went by mom's house on her time? sounds like stalking to me. and being pregnant doesn't mean she broke a court order. not everyone has sex only between 10pm and 8am. you being a witness to this car hold no credibility. you have an agenda.

is the only reason DAD is out to get MOM is to retain custody?

if HIS child is having issues with DAD and MOM's separation, maybe a little therapy might be in order. maybe DAD might find some better responses to answer child's comments.

out of curiousity, what does the court order exactly say? word for word? does it give room for "in the event of marriage"?

no we do not know that is wasn't a relative for a fact. We haven't ran the plates yet. And No we do not know for sure that the son was in the home. That is why I'm asking How do we go about proving he is in the home when someone is there. I'm offended that you would consider it stalking when we waited for hours to get him. We were worried since he was not given a call back. You wouldn't wonder where your kid is after you made a drop off time and no show no call?? True this event was an agreed upon extra night to make up for Mother's Day. My husband asks for his son in these situations because he wants to see him.

I simply want to know How to prove it "if" it's happening. We are sure it is. I am smart enough to realize that an 8 year old is not "creditible" That's the whole point.

And the moral clause states that either parent is not to have a person over non blood related from 10pm-8am. I need to get the papers out to get a quote.

 

[Ohiogal]

First of all YOU butt out. You are far too into mom's business. You are assuming things which are NOT your concern.

And the moral clause states that either parent is not to have a person over non blood related from 10pm-8am. I need to get the papers out to get a quote.

Good -- then every time YOU spend the night at your home when your stepson is there then dad is breaking the clause as well. And he is in contempt. Hence the judge will most likely do NOTHING to mom. Again, pot meet kettle.

Oh and if you ARE blood related to your husband then there are SEVERE issues and you both will probably end up in jail as incest is illegal in all 50 states.

 

[stealth2]

no we do not know that is wasn't a relative for a fact. We haven't ran the plates yet. And No we do not know for sure that the son was in the home. That is why I'm asking How do we go about proving he is in the home when someone is there. I'm offended that you would consider it stalking when we waited for hours to get him. We were worried since he was not given a call back. You wouldn't wonder where your kid is after you made a drop off time and no show no call?? True this event was an agreed upon extra night to make up for Mother's Day. My husband asks for his son in these situations because he wants to see him.

Okay - so Mom was under no obligation to make the child available, since it would appear that it's not court-ordered.

As for running the plates? How do you propose to do that? I don't think regular citizens can just go ask the cops to do so. And it's unethical for cops to do it for personal reasons.

I simply want to know How to prove it "if" it's happening. We are sure it is. I am smart enough to realize that an 8 year old is not "creditible" That's the whole point.

Well, a lot of folks aren't, and since we don't know you from Adam... How to prove it? Tell Dad to start laying out the $$$ for a PI. And then expect the judge to tell him to get over himself because....

And the moral clause states that either parent is not to have a person over non blood related from 10pm-8am. I need to get the papers out to get a quote.

... Dad is also in contempt if that's what the order states - because YOU are not blood related either and should not be in the home when the child is there at night. What now, hon?

 

[penelope10]

Okay - so Mom was under no obligation to make the child available, since it would appear that it's not court-ordered.

As for running the plates? How do you propose to do that? I don't think regular citizens can just go ask the cops to do so. And it's unethical for cops to do it for personal reasons.



Well, a lot of folks aren't, and since we don't know you from Adam... How to prove it? Tell Dad to start laying out the $$$ for a PI. And then expect the judge to tell him to get over himself because....



... Dad is also in contempt if that's what the order states - because YOU are not blood related either and should not be in the home when the child is there at night. What now, hon?

It would probably go a long way if Dad butted out of Mom's personal life. Would certainly go a long way to get rid of the atmosphere of animosity. And as the new wife I would wonder why my Hubby appears so interested in what his ex does with other men. I mean even if this guy spent the night, doesn't mean JR was there as someone pointed out.

I think there should have been a MYOB clause in the decree instead of this "morality" clause.

 

[stealth2]

And as the new wife I would wonder why my Hubby appears so interested in what his ex does with other men.

As the new husband, I'd be wondering why my WIFE was so interested in my ex's social life. Because, honestly, so far all we have is the wife getting hot and bothered by the ex's behavior. Dad's been curiously silent.

 

[Ohiogal]

Lets start at the beginning.

Your hubby and his ex will have been EXes only for a year at this point. You moved in kinda quick huh? Married daddy and jumped into his bed.
Now mom is pregnant for the second time in seven months you state-- you are aware that conception could take place at ANY time and not just between the hours of 10pm and 8 am -- this abstinence only education is definitely NOT a good thing if you didn't know that.

no we do not know that is wasn't a relative for a fact

You also don't know if mom bought a new car, has borrowed the car, is storing the car for someone or a variety of other things.

We haven't ran the plates yet.

You do not have the power to run the plates. You are aware of that aren't you?

And No we do not know for sure that the son was in the home.

WE don't have to know anything. YOU are so overstepping and butting in it is not even funny.

That is why I'm asking How do we go about proving he is in the home when someone is there.

Giid gruef,

I'm offended that you would consider it stalking when we waited for hours to get him.

I'm offended that a legal stranger feels it is her business to be this far up into mom's business. WE didn't have a right to "get him". No right at all.

We were worried since he was not given a call back.

We being worried doesn't matter.

You wouldn't wonder where your kid is after you made a drop off time and no show no call??

First, a kid is a baby goat.
Second, this is not your kid or your child. YOU are not a party to this.

True this event was an agreed upon extra night to make up for Mother's Day. My husband asks for his son in these situations because he wants to see him.

Dad is NOT entitled makeup time for mother's day. Nor is mom entitled makeup time for Father's Day. Unless the court order SPECIFICALLY states that.

I simply want to know How to prove it "if" it's happening. We are sure it is. I am smart enough to realize that an 8 year old is not "creditible" That's the whole point.

You are smart but not smart enough to spell credible. You are not smart enough to understand that you are now and always will be a legal stranger. You are not smart enough to know that YOU are aiding dad in breaking the morals clause. Shall I continue with how not smart you are?

And the moral clause states that either parent is not to have a person over non blood related from 10pm-8am.

I repeat you are non blood as well. And you sleep over with your husband. And since you say nothing about junior having to be there then you are in violation 365 days of the year. Bet mom is not in violation that often at this juncture. (Oh and if she is pregnant an argument can be made that daddy of said baby IS a blood relation due to the fact that she is related to the baby, her son is related to the baby and the baby's father is related to the baby by BLOOD/genetics/DNA). So dad is STILL more in the wrong than mom on that note. Because you are not pregnant or you would have been bragging (yes I said bragging) about that and how you are a better pregnant person than mom because you are married and mom is not and blah blah blah.

I need to get the papers out to get a quote.

 

[Ohiogal]

As the new husband, I'd be wondering why my WIFE was so interested in my ex's social life. Because, honestly, so far all we have is the wife getting hot and bothered by the ex's behavior. Dad's been curiously silent.

Wife is jealous -- most likely because ex had hubby first.

 

[LdiJ]

I would also like to point out that breaking a clause like that is generally not grounds for a change in custody....at least not all by itself. Dad could spend a ton of money on a PI only to have the judge just give mom a slap on the wrist.

 

[OhReally?]

We haven't ran the plates yet. .

Uhh..."yet"? Dream on. You won't be able to run the plates AT ALL.

 

[penelope10]

All I have to say is divorce situations are tough enough for kiddos even without fueling the flames of animosity. Kids often involved in this type of situation will tell on the one parent to get the approval of the other. Not a very healthy environment for a kiddo to grow up in.. So if YOU, DAD, or MOM is doing this all I can say is shame on you.

You do know that you can get in some serious do-do if it can be proven that you are trying to alienate this child's affection for his MOM don't you? (And it doesn't matter if you or hubby feel she's the biggest slut in ten counties).