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  1. #1
    bmyers98 is offline Junior Member
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    ex wife has parental alienation syndrome traits

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

    In a nut shell....My ex wife has been experiencing very real and vivid signs of P.A.S. (parental alienation syndrome) and I'm wondering how to handle this to get more time with our two small children, ages 8 and 6. We've been divorced for 3 years and she's still living in the past. My ex wife tries at every turn to use our children as pawns against me. My current visitation schedule is tuesday/thursday from 5-7 and every other weekend. I deserve more time and want more time than I was court ordered. She was granted sole physical custody because she was a stay at home mom and I worked during the week 8-5. My attorney hasn't been much help and has been ignoring my requests for help since the divorce has been final. Thank you for your help and advice.
  2. #2
    kimberlywrites is offline Senior Member
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    I didnt know there was such a thing as PAS. Do you have a doctor's note?
    You will have to be able to show she's in contempt of your divorce decree in order to get started on this. What is she doing?
  3. #3
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimberlywrites View Post
    I didnt know there was such a thing as PAS. Do you have a doctor's note?
    You will have to be able to show she's in contempt of your divorce decree in order to get started on this. What is she doing?
    Hold it - PAS (as in Parental Alienation Syndrome) has been refuted and/or dismissed by virtually every professional and psychiatric authority on the subject and is not going to be welcomed in court.

    Parental Alienation though is recognized - and you'll need proof of this.

    Why do you feel you deserve more time? (what you have is pretty standard). What is Mom doing wrong?
  4. #4
    bmyers98 is offline Junior Member
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    P.A.S. is very real. It wasn't until just a few weeks ago I found out about it but she is experiencing most all the signs towards me. Basically telling the children evil and bad things about me, lies about me, tells our children she hates me, that I cheated on her, discusses "everything" about our divorce, discusses finances with them saying they can't do certain things because daddy doesn't give us more money (I follow the court ordered child support to the T every month - infact it comes out of my paycheck every 2 weeks so I'm never late either), blames me for breaking up the family, says hurtful things about my current live in girlfriend, lies about my gf sending her mean emails and texts to the kids. The list goes on and on. It's so frustrating and pety. She can't move on and deal with the kids only. It's more about me and her than the kids. She claims to have the kids best interest at heart but her actions speak differently.
  5. #5
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bmyers98 View Post
    P.A.S. is very real. It wasn't until just a few weeks ago I found out about it but she is experiencing most all the signs towards me. Basically telling the children evil and bad things about me, lies about me, tells our children she hates me, that I cheated on her, discusses "everything" about our divorce, discusses finances with them saying they can't do certain things because daddy doesn't give us more money (I follow the court ordered child support to the T every month - infact it comes out of my paycheck every 2 weeks so I'm never late either), blames me for breaking up the family, says hurtful things about my current live in girlfriend, lies about my gf sending her mean emails and texts to the kids. The list goes on and on. It's so frustrating and pety. She can't move on and deal with the kids only. It's more about me and her than the kids. She claims to have the kids best interest at heart but her actions speak differently.
    Parental Alienation is real. P.A.S. has been refuted by every expert world wide. The "inventor" of PAS is currently a suspect in child rape cases. Please read N.E. Medical Journal regarding this matter.
  6. #6
    bmyers98 is offline Junior Member
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    Well from what I've read it is fightable and winnable. It's a form of child abuse. Not sure where Dogmatique gets your information from. I haven't read anywhere that it's not welcomed in court or recognized by any professional.
  7. #7
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bmyers98 View Post
    Well from what I've read it is fightable and winnable. It's a form of child abuse. Not sure where Dogmatique gets your information from. I haven't read anywhere that it's not welcomed in court or recognized by any professional.
    You did read the post, yes? Parental Alienation is VERY real. PAS, however, has been discounted virtually everywhere.

    We are talking about two different things.

    But regardless, what proof do you have that Mom is guilty of alienation?
  8. #8
    wattie is offline Junior Member
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    I think what they are trying to tell you is that even though all of the symptoms you mentioned are happening, and you may be being alienated, they are suggesting you not mention "the syndrome" to the court because it won't stand up.

    Also, you need proof of abuse or that she is unfit, or a significant change in circumstance to change custody, and these behaviors may not be enough... but the main thing is when explaining the alienation (which may be real) to make sure you do not mention it as a "syndrome".
  9. #9
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by wattie View Post
    I think what they are trying to tell you is that even though all of the symptoms you mentioned are happening, and you may be being alienated, they are suggesting you not mention "the syndrome" to the court because it won't stand up.

    Also, you need proof of abuse or that she is unfit, or a significant change in circumstance to change custody, and these behaviors may not be enough... but the main thing is when explaining the alienation (which may be real) to make sure you do not mention it as a "syndrome".
    Perfectly put. Thank you
  10. #10
    Alex23 is offline Member
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    It's a sad story. My father suspected the same, even though my mother went out of her way to show my father in a positive light. No matter what your reality is, it's very easy for those 'questionable' messages to get thru to the kids.

    Do your best to show your children how much you love them, no matter how difficult it gets.
  11. #11
    AL_Madi is offline Junior Member
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    It sounds a loy like Hostile Agressive Parenting. I found a lot of good information on their website [url=http://www.hostile-agressive-parenting.com]hostile-agressive-parenting.com[/url]
  12. #12
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by AL_Madi View Post
    It sounds a loy like Hostile Agressive Parenting. I found a lot of good information on their website [url=http://www.hostile-agressive-parenting.com]hostile-agressive-parenting.com[/url]
    How often is this accepted in a US court?
  13. #13
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Meanie View Post
    The "inventor" of PAS is currently a suspect in child rape cases.
    Well... actually.... he's not a suspect in anything at this point. He is well and truly dead.
  14. #14
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    Well... actually.... he's not a suspect in anything at this point. He is well and truly dead.
    you beat me to it....i was just about to comment on that.....
  15. #15
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bmyers98 View Post
    Well from what I've read it is fightable and winnable. It's a form of child abuse. Not sure where Dogmatique gets your information from. I haven't read anywhere that it's not welcomed in court or recognized by any professional.
    ...really and your PhD in what allows you to make that assessment?

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