Ex wife now threatening to go back for sole custody

[worriedIL]

What is the name of your state?IL

My boyfriends ex is now claiming to take him to court for sole custody because he doesn't not have a bed for their 6 year old daughter whom he only has every other saturday. She sleeps in his bed and he sleeps on the couch. Can she do this? We are trying to find a lawyer in Dupage County, does anyone know of anyone we can go to? Also she wants sole custody because she doesn't approve of him taking his daughter by me or by his families houses. Can she really do this? There is no harm being done to the child and she loves coming by these places because there's other kids.

 

[Zephyr]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=299281


didn't you ask that in your other post

 

[Skank Finder]

What is the name of your state?IL

My boyfriends ex is now claiming to take him to court for sole custody because he doesn't not have a bed for their 6 year old daughter whom he only has every other saturday. She sleeps in his bed and he sleeps on the couch. Can she do this? We are trying to find a lawyer in Dupage County, does anyone know of anyone we can go to? Also she wants sole custody because she doesn't approve of him taking his daughter by me or by his families houses. Can she really do this? There is no harm being done to the child and she loves coming by these places because there's other kids.

Sure, she can take him to court for these items. However, I hope she doesn't mind being laughed out of court!

Tell her to, "Go ahead, spend your money. You'll lose."

IAAL

 

[worriedIL]

Thats what I said, but she needs to be stopped. So now we are trying to find an attny before she takes him to court. The we did contact said it would be a 2k dollar retainer fee and $250.00 an hour. Is that normal?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You are the GF and not the parent.
Save the money on the attorney, instead go and buy the little darling a "day bed" with storage for her belongings underneath. Make it her own let her help pick it out including the linens. It can be used for seating in between visits. Then there is no question about the bed in which she sleeps. I would not appreciate my daughter sleeping in the same bed her father and gf were having intercourse in when she is not there or even having to think about that, and I raised boys. Hopefully you change the sheets so they are not crusty, lol, before she visits now. Take away the reason and you deflate the threat and at the same time provide the daughter with an appropriate place for her to sleep during her visits.

 

[CJane]

Hopefully you change the sheets so they are not crusty, lol, before she visits now.

LMAO That's just... eeewwww!

My kids occasionally sleep w/me in my bed when the BF is out of town, and it's not that big of a deal, but they DO have their own bed and private space at BOTH houses.

OP ~ Why doesn't the child sleep on the couch? Or get her one of those air mattress/sleeping bag combos that have the Barbie Princesses on them? They're about $30 at Walmart. I'm guessing this is only a 1 bedroom?

Dad could always get a sleeper sofa, and turn 'his' bedroom into 'her' bedroom and solve the issue as well.

 

[worriedIL]

Obviously you dont know me. First of all I appreciate you taking the time to reply. Secondly, I dont sleep at by boyfriends house, we stay at my house. Thirdly, I go to his condo and clean it every other weekend before his daughter comes over because, like i said he lives with his brother and you know how men can be. I resent the fact that you made your crude comments but everyone's entitled to their opinions. She is not just claiming about the bed situation. There is no law that states he must have one correct? And I am asking if anyone knows of an attorney in the Dupage county area in illinois.

 

[worriedIL]

Also, this divorce was just finalized 6 mnths ago. We are trying to save up to buy a place of our own in which the child will have her own space, yet we can't do that until the coming summer. The ex is a nutcase and will do anything and everything to destroy anyone. She's miserable. We just want to be prepared w/ an attny. She sends him harrassing emails and leaves harrassing voicemails, we want it stopped. I may only be the gf but soon to be the new wife. So i dont think the fact that Im JUST THE GF plays any part of this. Im trying to help my BF put an end to this non-sense so he can enjoy his daughter.

 

[CJane]

You're correct, there's no law saying that a child must have her own bed. But that doesn't mean that the child shouldn't have private space that is just hers.

You can choose the 'post your case to an attorney' link and get info from various attornies in your area. The retainer/hourly rate that you stated is pretty reasonable though, for a custody battle.

Even once you're the 'new wife' you'll still only be 'just the step-mom'. You'll have exactly the same amount of rights to the child as you do now. Which is '0'.

 

[worriedIL]

I agree with everyones opinions on my rights. Im not trying to be the childs mother. I am being supportive of my boyfriend by helping him research these issues. Is there a crime in that? I too want whats in the best interest of child and that is for the child to be able to be w/ her father when the law as allowed her to.

 

[DelanaH]

I am not sure I understand what the big deal is **************. When the child comes to stay with dad, she has a bed to sleep in and dad sleeps on the sofa. So if the child feels like she needs personal space get her some girly things to place in the bedroom room when she is there to make it more of her own. (Barbie or Bratz bedspread and a toy chest. Sounds to me like the dad is just living with his brother till he can get on his feet. There is nothing wrong with that.

 

[worriedIL]

Thank you. I agree. She does have all her own stuff. I bought her all new clothes to have when she's w/ us. Hair stuff, she received TONS of toys for christmas. My question is does the ex have any rights to what she's doing? Do we need to get an attny or just let her keep blowing her smoke?

 

[NotSoNew]

no she does not need her own bed and let mom take you to court about it.

if the child only sleeps over one night every other week then he gets no credit for his parenting time with her and obviously no credit for having to up keep a room for her, so the court doesnt feel he has to!!!!!!!

and yes that is normal prices for an attorney but i dont think you need one. mom will be laughed out of court all alone!

 

[Ithildriel]

She is not just claiming about the bed situation.

Some people have told you she would be laughed out of court about the bed situation, and you don't need an attorney for that, however, if you don't divulge the rest of what she is claiming, you may not be getting the complete advice you have come here looking for.

 

[worriedIL]

She is claiming he is unfit because when he has her he doesn't set up play dates, doesn't put her to bed at 8pm and sometimes they sleep by his mothers house.

She plays all the time w/ my nephews and cousin, her cousin and her aunts neices whom she loves. She's bathed, fed, and dressed in clean clothes, (unlike the way she's sent). Yea we dont put her to bed at 8pm because it's the weekend! Why shouldn't she have some fun? The point is the mother hates me and hates the fact that i get along w/ the child and my bf's family. Thats why this is all so aggravating. She should be happy that her child is in good hands and cared for very well by her father. I can't see her getting sole custody by a judge over her own jealousy. The point here is the child. The child is happy, cries when she has to be home by a certain time. But this is the fact of life and it's explained to her.