Exhusband

[Tootersmom]

I live in Dallas TX. My Ex-husband and I modified a possession order last year placing both my sons in his custody. Soon after, both of my sons began to share stories that alcohol and possibly drug use was impairing my husband when they were in his care. My older son had an issue with the law prior to that modification. Communicated to me and encouraged through his family, individual and probation meetings, my son was eventually removed from his custody and put in mine, at least until next year when he is off probation. Now, 5 dwi arrests later and pending incarceration...I told my ex husband I would like my younger son to come live with us as well. I believe it is in my younger sons best interest and would allow my exhusband to focus on what he needs to do to straighten his life up, if that is what he chooses and can do. The last few meetings between my older son and father were very heated. My sons therapists and probation officer believe he is thinking rationally and it be best he distance himself from his father. I suggested the therapist and probation officer meet with me, my son and his father. In this process, I hope we can work it out and heal their relationship, although I recognize my ex husband has a substantial addiction issue. I feel very anxious and worried for my younger son because he is still in my ex husbands care. I feel like the modification was not truly consentual because I was unaware of his ongoing alcohol addiction and the consequences are obvious with arrests and testimony from both my children. What can I do? School starts in 3 weeks an I'd like to enroll my younger son and have him in a safe environment where he can focus on school and his friends rather than his fathers addiction.

 

[Isis1]

I live in Dallas TX. My Ex-husband and I modified a possession order last year placing both my sons in his custody. Soon after, both of my sons began to share stories that alcohol and possibly drug use was impairing my husband when they were in his care. My older son had an issue with the law prior to that modification. Communicated to me and encouraged through his family, individual and probation meetings, my son was eventually removed from his custody and put in mine, at least until next year when he is off probation. Now, 5 dwi arrests later and pending incarceration...I told my ex husband I would like my younger son to come live with us as well. I believe it is in my younger sons best interest and would allow my exhusband to focus on what he needs to do to straighten his life up, if that is what he chooses and can do. The last few meetings between my older son and father were very heated. My sons therapists and probation officer believe he is thinking rationally and it be best he distance himself from his father. I suggested the therapist and probation officer meet with me, my son and his father. In this process, I hope we can work it out and heal their relationship, although I recognize my ex husband has a substantial addiction issue. I feel very anxious and worried for my younger son because he is still in my ex husbands care. I feel like the modification was not truly consentual because I was unaware of his ongoing alcohol addiction and the consequences are obvious with arrests and testimony from both my children. What can I do? School starts in 3 weeks an I'd like to enroll my younger son and have him in a safe environment where he can focus on school and his friends rather than his fathers addiction.

how many DUI's has he had AFTER the modification? were any of the children in the car when this occured? and when is his next court date?

 

[Tootersmom]

He had one 6/6/11 and another 6/24/11. One was dismissed and he is fighting the other. Neither of my kids were in the car at the time he was arrested. He has learned that staying quiet and giving them no evidence to convict him on works. My belief is for each arrest he has numerous incidences where he was not "caught".....it weighs heavy on my heart to have my son in his care :-( I don't want to get that call that something terrible has happened. His next court date is Aug. 23rd. He was supposed to go in for 30 days but they released him the same day with this court date. I was devastated.

Let me add that when I signed the modification, he was in a relationship and living in a nice home. He had been jobless for over a year, but she encouraged him to find a job that he could live with. So, he told me in June before the arrests that he had found one. Apparently the arrests and pending incarceration, in addition to losing his license ( I believe he has an occupational one now) caused him to lose that job. His girlfriend also asked him to move out because of the drinking issues. He officially lives with his parents...but floats between his parents and girlfriends apartment west of here. He says he has a job "waiting" and is going to get his own apartment but is just waiting on this recent case to resolve itself. He said incarceration is imminent however and planned for my younger son to stay with his parents if that happened.

 

[LdiJ]

He had one 6/6/11 and another 6/24/11. One was dismissed and he is fighting the other. Neither of my kids were in the car at the time he was arrested. He has learned that staying quiet and giving them no evidence to convict him on works. My belief is for each arrest he has numerous incidences where he was not "caught".....it weighs heavy on my heart to have my son in his care :-( I don't want to get that call that something terrible has happened. His next court date is Aug. 23rd. He was supposed to go in for 30 days but they released him the same day with this court date. I was devastated.

Let me add that when I signed the modification, he was in a relationship and living in a nice home. He had been jobless for over a year, but she encouraged him to find a job that he could live with. So, he told me in June before the arrests that he had found one. Apparently the arrests and pending incarceration, in addition to losing his license ( I believe he has an occupational one now) caused him to lose that job. His girlfriend also asked him to move out because of the drinking issues. He officially lives with his parents...but floats between his parents and girlfriends apartment west of here. He says he has a job "waiting" and is going to get his own apartment but is just waiting on this recent case to resolve itself. He said incarceration is imminent however and planned for my younger son to stay with his parents if that happened.

That is not a decision that he gets to make. If he is incarcerated then you would have the right to have the children with you.

 

[Tootersmom]

Thank the Good Lord!

Last night, he verbally agreed to let my youngest son come home. We still have a therapy session in two weeks for he and my older son to hash things out. I won't be getting child support...but, at least I know they'll be safe if he keeps his word. I think the money may have been the issue all along.