What is the name of your state? GA
Here is the situation. My ex has a girlfriend There are a couple of things that are issues for me. One, we have a cohabitation clause in the divorce. I have been careful not to ask the kids if their Dad and the girlfriend are sleeping together with the kids there (ages 12, 10, 8) b/c I don't want to put them in the middle.
At the time of the divorce, GF and Dad were already living together, and the first visit the kids had with their Dad she was there the whole time...even came with him to pick them up. Now, the reason this is being mentioned is, a year ago, I put my ex (at the time hubby)on a bus to deploy for a year with the military. We were, so I thought, doing fine. Two weeks later, he has a girlfriend half his age (he's 40, she's 20) and he managed to get out of his deployment after 2 months overseas and get divorced from me.
From the kids point of view, they have a family, and then all of a sudden they are being told in July that Mom and Dad are divorcing. Their Dad was overseas, so no chance to get used to the arrangement. First weekend Dad is back in country, he gets the kids and brings the girlfriend. At this point, he hadn't seen the kids for 3 months but brings her.
Kids t4ell me the GF is sleeping with Dad, and it bothers them. I talk to dad, remind him of cohab agreement, but most especially that this is a problem for the kids. They are NOT married. He says that they wont do it anymore. Oldest returns from a visit about 6 weeks ago upset b/c she realized Dad is lying and that he and GF are sneaking into bed together after my kids are asleep.
Dad also bought a very small RV and has taken trips the last few visits with the kids and GF. My oldest was getting sick that visit, and so she had lain awake for a long time. She said her Dad and GF pulled the curtain across their bed for privacy and she could hear them both moaning and groaning. She is old enough that she figured out what they were doing. I am furious about this.
Any suggestions? Talking to him makes it worse for the kids. He gets mad at them when he finds they come to me about stuff.
The other thing is this slick crap the ex does when he calls the kids. Usually when I see on the caller ID that it is the ex, I just tell the kids that their Dad is calling, and they grab the phone. Well, lately the GF will call them from their Dad's cell phone. The kids are nice and polite to her, and she end the calls with "I LOVE YOU", to which the kids respond the same, cause they don't want to hurt her feelings. But, they don't like it and feel weird about it. My ex will also call them and then put her on the phone with them, too. I just think this is weird. Not sure how to deal with this.
What would you do about the sleeping together thing?
How would you handle phone calls, or is there really nothing I can do about that?
Here is the situation. My ex has a girlfriend There are a couple of things that are issues for me. One, we have a cohabitation clause in the divorce. I have been careful not to ask the kids if their Dad and the girlfriend are sleeping together with the kids there (ages 12, 10, 8) b/c I don't want to put them in the middle.
At the time of the divorce, GF and Dad were already living together, and the first visit the kids had with their Dad she was there the whole time...even came with him to pick them up. Now, the reason this is being mentioned is, a year ago, I put my ex (at the time hubby)on a bus to deploy for a year with the military. We were, so I thought, doing fine. Two weeks later, he has a girlfriend half his age (he's 40, she's 20) and he managed to get out of his deployment after 2 months overseas and get divorced from me.
From the kids point of view, they have a family, and then all of a sudden they are being told in July that Mom and Dad are divorcing. Their Dad was overseas, so no chance to get used to the arrangement. First weekend Dad is back in country, he gets the kids and brings the girlfriend. At this point, he hadn't seen the kids for 3 months but brings her.
Kids t4ell me the GF is sleeping with Dad, and it bothers them. I talk to dad, remind him of cohab agreement, but most especially that this is a problem for the kids. They are NOT married. He says that they wont do it anymore. Oldest returns from a visit about 6 weeks ago upset b/c she realized Dad is lying and that he and GF are sneaking into bed together after my kids are asleep.
Dad also bought a very small RV and has taken trips the last few visits with the kids and GF. My oldest was getting sick that visit, and so she had lain awake for a long time. She said her Dad and GF pulled the curtain across their bed for privacy and she could hear them both moaning and groaning. She is old enough that she figured out what they were doing. I am furious about this.
Any suggestions? Talking to him makes it worse for the kids. He gets mad at them when he finds they come to me about stuff.
The other thing is this slick crap the ex does when he calls the kids. Usually when I see on the caller ID that it is the ex, I just tell the kids that their Dad is calling, and they grab the phone. Well, lately the GF will call them from their Dad's cell phone. The kids are nice and polite to her, and she end the calls with "I LOVE YOU", to which the kids respond the same, cause they don't want to hurt her feelings. But, they don't like it and feel weird about it. My ex will also call them and then put her on the phone with them, too. I just think this is weird. Not sure how to deal with this.
What would you do about the sleeping together thing?
How would you handle phone calls, or is there really nothing I can do about that?