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Extra Curricular activities and visitation

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What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

Father has custody and mother has visits EOW and alternating holidays. Child is in dance and soccer..or at least was in soccer. Mother agreed to let child do soccer last season and agreed to let her do it this season if father picked up from her house and dropped her back off after games because she said she doesnt enjoy going. Which is fine everything was agreed. Last min mother told child to let father know she can not do soccer and will have to find a sport that does not involve her weekends. Make up time was offered as well.

THe issue is there are no sports that do not invove weekends. She does not want to do karate which is during the week. Only soccer and dance. So this season she is out. Because the coach will not allow her to participate in half the games, Only 4 games would fall on her weekends.

This is fine for now. But what happenes when the child is older (say Jr high or high school) and the activity she chooses to do requires her to be there on the weekend? Is it that she can never do anything because her parents decided to get a divorce? Or is this something to go to court with and let her do one activity that falls on weekends but give her more holidays/or make up time when missing?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

Father has custody and mother has visits EOW and alternating holidays. Child is in dance and soccer..or at least was in soccer. Mother agreed to let child do soccer last season and agreed to let her do it this season if father picked up from her house and dropped her back off after games because she said she doesnt enjoy going. Which is fine everything was agreed. Last min mother told child to let father know she can not do soccer and will have to find a sport that does not involve her weekends. Make up time was offered as well.

THe issue is there are no sports that do not invove weekends. She does not want to do karate which is during the week. Only soccer and dance. So this season she is out. Because the coach will not allow her to participate in half the games, Only 4 games would fall on her weekends.

This is fine for now. But what happenes when the child is older (say Jr high or high school) and the activity she chooses to do requires her to be there on the weekend? Is it that she can never do anything because her parents decided to get a divorce? Or is this something to go to court with and let her do one activity that falls on weekends but give her more holidays/or make up time when missing?
How old is the child? It may not be something to take to court now, but it may be something that you would want to take to court when the child is a little older.

I really think that it is a shame when parents won't cooperate with the children's activities during their time, but it is their right unless otherwise ordered by the court.

Why doesn't mom have any midweek visits? Is the distance between the homes too far for that?
 
mom does...she just doesnt use them. She lives 15 min apart and the soccer field is actually closer. The child is 9
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
mom does...she just doesnt use them. She lives 15 min apart and the soccer field is actually closer. The child is 9
Well, that is also a real shame. I think that you are going to have to take it back to court. However, you should probably wait a couple of years.
 

wileybunch

Senior Member
What's the deal with the coach not letting her plan only 1/2 the games? Isn't it just a rec league? While it's very unfair to the team on the one hand, if it's a rec league make sure there isn't a rule that players must play x% of every game they are there for. I know of other children in the same situation and they cannot be benched for it.
 
there is nothing in the orders that state anything about activities. The orders were made back in 01. If this was to be taken to court what is a good age to do so? Because the longer she is not in the sport the further behind she gets. Also, is there a good chance the judge would order the mother to allow the child to participate?
 
there is nothing in the orders that state anything about activities. The orders were made back in 01. If this was to be taken to court what is a good age to do so? Because the longer she is not in the sport the further behind she gets. Also, is there a good chance the judge would order the mother to allow the child to participate?


If this was taken back to court would the judge speak with the child? I would hate to do that to her
 

SMinNJ

Member
would the judge award the child to be able to participate in activities if make up time is available?
You don't seem to get an answer here, so I'm writing this even though I am not a lawyer and am not in your state. My husband's decree, and other's I have heard of, state that my husband will take his daughter to her extra-curricular activities during his time. It says nothing about who may sign her up for activities, and when it was written, it was intended to make certain that mom did not withhold visitation for fear that dad would not take child to her school activities (a fear completely without base or history, just a way for mom to withhold visitation). It was only poor lawyering that allowed the order to be worded as it was, which guarantees that my husband must take his daughter to any activities regardless of any plans he might have with his family.

So, yes, it is possible that a judge would order that a child is able to participate in her activities, with or without make-up time.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
You don't seem to get an answer here, so I'm writing this even though I am not a lawyer and am not in your state. My husband's decree, and other's I have heard of, state that my husband will take his daughter to her extra-curricular activities during his time. It says nothing about who may sign her up for activities, and when it was written, it was intended to make certain that mom did not withhold visitation for fear that dad would not take child to her school activities (a fear completely without base or history, just a way for mom to withhold visitation). It was only poor lawyering that allowed the order to be worded as it was, which guarantees that my husband must take his daughter to any activities regardless of any plans he might have with his family.

So, yes, it is possible that a judge would order that a child is able to participate in her activities, with or without make-up time.
However its also possible that a judge won't order that. There is no guarantee either way.
 
is it reasonable to want a child to participate in activities? or am I asking to much? I do try to put myself if moms position, but if it were me I would agree and WANT to be there for my child. So I cant seem to understand by putting myself in her shoes.
 

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