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  1. #1
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    Extra Curricular Activities and visitation

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

    I am the father who has custody. My daughter is 9 years of age. I have had her since she was 2. The mother gets her 1,3,5 weekend at holidays ect. I guess its the standard texas visitation? Anyways, My daughter is wanting to be active in sports. But her mother will not allow her to do anything on her weekends. She let her do one season and got mad at me and said our daughter is not allowed to EVER do anything on her weekends. I understand I get her more. But I cant help her events are on weekends, She wants to play soccer. Which is two seasons a year about 10 games per season. So it will effect her about 10 Saturdays PER YEAR. I pay 100% for everything except the 120 a month she pays in CS. I have offered make up time for the 2 hours she would be gone for the game...the mother doesnt want to take her since "its boring to watch", I have offered to pick her (daughter) up and drop her right back off when the game is over. But still she still will not budge. Can I take this to court? I just dont see how it is fair for the child to never participate in anything until she is 18! I dont want to pay for somethign that she ownt be at half the time either.

    I spoke with a lawyer yesterday and he said we could. I just want to throw it by you all. She pays 120 a month in CS which is below min wage. No medical. I was thinking of telling her I am going to modify if if she doesnt let her participate. I know it sounds shaddy I just don tknow what else to do. The child is very upset by this. Any advice?

    EDIT: The lawyer I spoke with said that we could try mediation and see if she comes to a agreement. Since CS was established when she didnt have a job I felt bad and only wanted 120. She is now working making over min wage so the lawyer said he could try to go after more CS and medical. I really dont want the money if she will agree to let our daughter be a kid. It is just somethign to hang over her head he said.
    Last edited by confuseddad2009; 01-27-2009 at 12:24 PM.
  2. #2
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    What about sports on the weeknights she is with you? My child has Tae Kwon do, for example, and can attend classes either weeknights or on the weekend. She did softball on Monday nights, and had something else on Wed nights. There are sports programs that don't fall on the weekend.
    Last edited by nextwife; 01-27-2009 at 12:40 PM.
  3. #3
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    We tried ot get her to do that but she doesnt want to do karatee (SP sorry) her only other things she wants to do is soccer and gymnastics. Meets are on weekends as well as games are on weekends.
  4. #4
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    You are going to have to take it back to court. How far do you live from mom?
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  5. #5
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    Mom lived about min away from us until last AUG she moved about 15-20 miles. Thats why we offered to pick a drop off. Will the court usually allw her to participate?
  6. #6
    truebluemd is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by confuseddad2009 View Post
    Mom lived about min away from us until last AUG she moved about 15-20 miles. Thats why we offered to pick a drop off. Will the court usually allw her to participate?
    A judge could order her to to take the child to school related activities that occur on her parenting time. Not sure about extra-curricular but that may be possible.

    Mom would probably argue its interfering with her parenting time. How about offering her extra time during the week?
  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by truebluemd View Post
    A judge could order her to to take the child to school related activities that occur on her parenting time. Not sure about extra-curricular but that may be possible.

    Mom would probably argue its interfering with her parenting time. How about offering her extra time during the week?
    I have offered her extra tim, days, ect. I told her I work with her on anythign to allow her to participate. Mom doesnt work with me at all. Shes the type if shes mad she takes it out on the child.
  8. #8
    sipa is offline Member
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    I am in NJ so not sure how the other states are.

    I know I have listened to this agruement with another couple the last time I was at court.

    The judge advised the father in this case (non custodial every other weekend Dad) that this is about the child and what sports the child wants to particpate in and not about what the parent wants to do.

    He was ordered to have her there for scheduled events, or lose his Saturday visitation while the child was in that particular sporting season.

    It is your childs time, not your time or Mom's time and that was the judges words.
  9. #9
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    Thank you. That gives a lil hope
  10. #10
    bononos again is offline Member
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    I have sports activities included in my court order.
    Good Luck!
  11. #11
    txmom512 is offline Member
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    What county are you in? I'm in Williamson and work in Travis county and have friends who have dealt w/ both. From what we've seen it's exactly like sipa said. Most judges around here would tell mom to suck it up - taking your kids to their activies and events is all part of being a parent.

    On a personal note, I feel so sorry for these kids who have parents that are all about themselves instead of supporting their kids... 12 yr old dd is rarely even home anymore. And I don't know how many thousand miles I've put on my truck taking her and picking her up from the stables. Then there are the horse shows, buying horse things, etc... I'm always broke these days it seems. But it is so worth it to watch her and to see the person she is growing up to be. It will be even more worth it if she gets that riding scholarship to A&M that she wants so bad.

    There is so much satisfaction in watching your child succeed in something they enjoy...
  12. #12
    TheGeekess is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by truebluemd View Post
    A judge could order her to to take the child to school related activities that occur on her parenting time. Not sure about extra-curricular but that may be possible.

    Mom would probably argue its interfering with her parenting time. How about offering her extra time during the week?
    My custody order says that Yard Dog (aka NCP) must take The Child to her extracurricular activities that occur during his visitation.
  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by txmom512 View Post
    What county are you in? I'm in Williamson and work in Travis county and have friends who have dealt w/ both. From what we've seen it's exactly like sipa said. Most judges around here would tell mom to suck it up - taking your kids to their activies and events is all part of being a parent.

    On a personal note, I feel so sorry for these kids who have parents that are all about themselves instead of supporting their kids... 12 yr old dd is rarely even home anymore. And I don't know how many thousand miles I've put on my truck taking her and picking her up from the stables. Then there are the horse shows, buying horse things, etc... I'm always broke these days it seems. But it is so worth it to watch her and to see the person she is growing up to be. It will be even more worth it if she gets that riding scholarship to A&M that she wants so bad.

    There is so much satisfaction in watching your child succeed in something they enjoy...
    I am in Beaxr county. In san Antonio. I am hoping the judge will tell her to suck it up, but who knows. Its not a school activity yet since she is 9. But soon enough we will have this issue with school activities.
  14. #14
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    We don't have extracurriculars included. However, that is ONE area that the ex will actually work with the kids on. I try to be flexible so that he can get time (if he chooses) when they're not involved so that he's more likely to be agreeable. The kids are older, so they deal with him on setting a schedule.
  15. #15
    truebluemd is offline Senior Member
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    your going to have to prove its in your childs best interest that she should go to these events, even on moms time. if they are not school related it could be more of a challenge. We are all from diff states and counties, and no court is exactly the same, especially judges, so that will be a factor to. While its not unusual for parents to be ordered to take their child to activities on their time, its not unusual to order parents to not schedule activities on the other parents time. so just plead your case well. in my aunts order, the kids can stay with her when they have weekend activities. Actually the dad wanted this.

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