False accusations

[moni]

I have a few questions if anyone can help me out, I would appreciate it very much.
I have a 9 year old daughter and a court order to see her every other weekend but the mother is not permitting me to see her. This morning 2 detectives came to my home and asked me a bunch of questions. I am being accused of grabbing my daughter by the arm and yelling at her that "Im your biological father". The last time that I saw her, which was in july.
This alligations are all false. My question is, What can I do to file a false accusation. What can the court do to her for lying about everything? I have everything documented. Is it worth my time and money to file for false accusation?
thank so much to all the readers and this helpful sight.

 

[jeanine]

Did the police arrest you or file some sort of report? And they would need to question your daughter as well. Since the mom is denying your visitation, you need to take her to court to enforce whatever visitation schedule you have. Unless you were arrested, this should be fairly easy and you don't need an attorney.

File a motion to enforce visititation or a motion to enforce an order made by another court (sorry that's what it's called in NY anyway). I would note the police coming to your home and the ex's false allegations. Then turn the tables on her and point out that her behavior is detrimental to the child. A judge may consider changing custody if he/she finds that to be the case.

Also, if you were arrested and the charges were dropped, you can sue your ex in small claims court for false allegations - but be prepared to prove your case to the nines. Bring all paperwork with you! Maybe if she has to pay you a couple thousand, she'll think twice about doing this again.

 

[moni]

I was not arrested, I was only questioned and I showed them all my paper work also. Everything that I have. The officers said that they were going to also talk to the grandmother because in the court ordered form it said that she had to be present, and that if this incident so happened why did the mother wait 3 months to report it and why didnt the grandmother call the police the same day. The thing that I am so frustrated about is that she is "brainwashing" our child. I go to court on tuesday for a temp. restraining order that she filed against me (the same about pulling my daughters arm). Can I ask the judge if my daughter can receive some type of counseling for everything that she has gone through and to find out if the mother is putting her through all this? thank you once again.

 

[moni]

sorry one more thing, can she pay for all the expenses that I am going through to file all these forms? gas,filing,work time,parking etc? I have all the receipts for everytime I go to court. thanks

 

[jeanine]

Forget the gas, work time, etc. The court will not order her to reimburse you for those costs.

The fact that she filed the report 3 months after this so-called incident will definitely raise eyebrows. And you should point that out! Any mother that truly believes their child is in danger would have notified the police immediately.

Don't be surprised if the judge asks to speak with your daughter to find out if it did really happen. As for the brainwashing it could be Parental Alienation Syndrom. You can request therapeutic visitation for you and your daughter. But be warned you will probably have to pay the costs.

Hope this helps. Just get all the paperwork you can from the police about her complaint!

 

[moni]

I truly appreciate your time and help jeanine.
thanks.
can you please tell me what therapeutic visitations are?

should i file a contempt of court case for not allowing me to visit my child on my appointed days? and if i do file should i do it before or after my hearing on this coming tuesday? or do i mention it to the judge about her refusal to let me see our child? thanks once again, you have been a bunch of help.

 

[jeanine]

First, what state are you in?
Second, the court case on Tuesday is for a temporary restraining order, no? Is that in Family Court or Criminal Court?

If it's in Family Court you can bring up the refusal of visitation, but I would file a petition separately because a lot will depend on the outcome of the restraining order case. If she wins and the judge says you did what she accused you of to your daughter, I truthfully don't know what happens then. Again, the card you play is that she waited three months to do something.

Therapeutic visitation is a way for you and your daughter to reconnect and help the court determine if your visitation is detrimental to the daughter or if the mother is influencing the child.

 

[moni]

I live in california jeanine. and on tuesday it is for family court, not criminal. I just finished filling out the affidavit of facts constituting contempt forms but I dont know if i should go file them today or wait until after the hearing. She would never be home when i would pick her up on my weekends so i do have that and the temp restraining order since sept 5 says that i can have her over night from sat to sunday every other weekend but once again she refused to let me see her. so i have 2 orders that she broke. 1)the original court order and 2) the temp RO visitation order. does that count for anything?
thanks

 

[jeanine]

File them! The cases really do relate to one another. She is denying you visitation. She is also accusing you of abusing the child. Obviously she is denying you visitation because she thinks you are dangerous to the child. File your paperwork and mention to the judge on Tuesday that you have done so because your ex's allegations are false!

 

[moni]

she has been denying me visitation way before these accusations came to be.(about 1 month ago and the detectives just came yesterday) the reason for all this is that she moved recently and lives 1 hr away and i believe she does not want to bring the child everyother weekend and waste her time, so she would rather lie, brainwash my daughter and accuse me of something so she wont make these trips. I hope justice prevails because I have done nothing to my daughter to hurt her in any way.

 

[moni]

can I file some type of false accusation forms? what would it be under? what forms would I need? family law? criminal? I am so confussed. please help

 

[Cher in Texas]

My family is going through the same thing! My sister in law made false accusations and took it all the way! Not only did she accuse my brother of being abusive, she also accused my mother of being abusive to their children while they were living at my parents house. My brother and his wife decided to seperate for a while, so she move away to another Island and olny made these accusations when my brother made an attempt to have his children come to visit. I fact the very day she agreed to send the children on a flight to visit she filed for a temporary restraining order! Needless to say this law makes it all too easy for anyone to make a false accusation and have a TRO granted! Now my family cannot have any contact at all with my nephews! Had I been living there I'm sure she would have included me in the TRO. My parents were convinced that after pleading their case the judge would rule fairly, that was not the case! The perception is that if some one makes the effort to go through with the process, then in the eyes of the court that person has a reasonable fear. My brother on the other hand hired a lawyer after what happened to my mom and got the TRO dismissed against his children but not against his wife! Now shes calling my parents house and hanging up! Calling my brother and asking him to have dinner with her and the kids, pretty much harassing him and there's nothing he or my mother can do about it! See the TRO only goes one way not both ways! She's also called the child protective service on my mother and had her investigated! My mother has since then been cleared but after every thing that has happened we do not know what to expect next! Moral of the story: Be on your guard! I have come across articles on the internet encouraging (women mainly) to get a restraining order if all else fails! PS. To women out there whom this law protects, you should be just as outraged as I am! If this continues to happen you rights (and sometimes protection) could be in jepordy!

 

[Shannon&Fuad]

Jeanine,
I have heard that if there is a visitation order entered and the CP refuses the NCP visitation or to follow that order, the NCP may take the child from the home without the CP conscent. Is this true? I only know this because before my fiance was proven not the father of a child, the mother was denying him any visitation and we contacted the police department to see how he could go about seeing his daughter as soon as possible, and they said that if there is a visitation order entered and the mother refuses to follow that order then the father could take the child anyways. This may only apply to the state of Iowa, or this may only be a lie, I don't know, how about you? Shannon

 

[knbblack]

I live in Louisiana. When my ex refused to let me see my children I had to go get a "civil warrent", once the warrent was issue the sheriff department went and pick up the kids...

Shannon the only problem I see about what you said is getting the child, because you go on the mothers property she can have him arrested for trespassing, and most police and sheriff departments will also stay out of it saying it's a civil matter... She can also arrest him on kidnapping charges - even though he has a court order for visitation... The charges may not stick, but I don't believe the chances are worth it....

Moni - you have a long road ahead of you, and yes get her therapy help - but also choose the therapist wisely - research to find out who has dealt with Parental Alienation Syndrome - and have several names to throw out to the judge... Keeping fighting... I been fighting my exwife for 4 years and now I am finally getting someone to see what is going on, and still have probably several years to go until I get custody.

I been in the same situation, to sum it up - everything out of my ex-wife's mouth was a lie, and I had the proof to say it was a lie, but the judge did not want to hear what I had to say, plus she only took hear say evidence, never talked to the children, took my ex-wife's word. I have been accused of beating my one of 3 sons, not feeding him, my current wife has been accused of choking him, walking in the bathroom on him, my step-son been accused of sexually assualt - which he was found not guilty due to my son was lying... it is starting to turn, but it is a slow process..... I also fixing to file a complaint on judge, my ex-wifes lawyer and child protection on how they handle this case....

Keep faith and trust in God - he will help you through this..

 

[BL]

The way I see it is you have a right to respond to the allegations.

First bring it up that the allegations happened 3 months later when you yourself were being denied visitations, secondly bring the police report and state those allegations were not founded, third state theoretical IF the alleged abuse did happen that would have been neglect on the parties responsible for the child well being to protect the Child at the time the alleged incident occurred.

Ask the Judge To Deny the restraining order and Admonish the other Party that they are in VIOLATION ( contempt) of the visitation orders, and to Immediately start fallowing the orders or face incarceration.

If need be ask the Judge schedule hearings on the impact this all is having on the child, and if your State has a Guardian Ad Litem ( lawyer appointed FOR the Child's best interest on the Laws ), ask the judge to appoint one for the child .