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Family member of deceased dad versus "unfit mother"

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kimberfree

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

This relates to a previous thread I posted, but different question. My brother is dying of cancer. He's not doing the right things, insofar as putting his affairs in order regarding his daughers. He managed to get custody of the girls 3 years ago following his divorce with the help of a LOT of money from my Mom, a good lawyer, and a sympathetic guardian ad litem. To do so, they ensured that the report presented to the court painted the mom in a terrible light, and made my brother (a serial verbal and emotional abuser) look like a saint.

Because of some accusations that were ostensibly made by the mother, who was worried about her oldest daughter (she'd been cutting herself in response to verbal/emotional abuse by father), that daughter is in foster care (but expected to go back to her mom), while the other daughter is with her Dad. The child in foster care will likely stay there until her emotional issues are better under control. My immediate concern is for the daughter (13) who currently lives with my brother, the father.

Question: If the state has limited the mother's visitation to weekly, at the court house, supervised, with that daughter who lives with him, will there be any roadblocks to her getting that daughter back after my brother dies? I am the child's aunt--only sibling of her Dad. Our mother, the grandmother who raised both girls, will be physically unable take custody... is there a chance I would be given temporary custody, even without the mother's consent? I have been talking to the mom about maybe temporarily taking this daughter as a means to smooth the road between her and her mom (my brother has been saying some awful things about the mom for months and has pretty successfully alienated the child from her mom--mom loves her daughter and wholeheartedly wants her back). I support the mom getting her girls back, but she has two additional young children (total of 4 kids, 4 baby daddies), no job, and a terrible work ethic. When the girls WERE with her, they missed a LOT of school... She's a better Mom than my brother EVER was a father, but she's far from being even average. I wish the situation was better for the girls. Still, I believe their mom loves them, and they should be with her. I could provide more opportunities for this child, but I don't think that's really a consideration... I wish it was.

I ask these questions now because I hadn't considered whether the limited visitation means she's "unfit" or something that might prevent her from getting custody. I don't want to see the state give her , even temporarily, to the stepmother, whom we've already established has no rights to the child... would the child be placed wtih the most logical relative before they'd put her in foster care, even temporarily? The child and I have a wonderful relationship, and she an my son (her cousin) are the best of buddies, about the same age.

One more issue: My brother and I do NOT get along, and haven't really been close for years. Even now, he doesn't want anyone to tell me how bad off he is. If her were to leave some letter or other document saying that he absolutely does NOT want me to ever have custody of his daughter, would that matter? It's a long story (some of it on other thread), but I'm a retired military officer, single Mom, but with excellent income, own my own home, money in the bank, teach at a university, no weird stuff in my background of any kind, don't smoke or drink (but I cuss!) My child is in an excellent school. She would have her own bedroom at my home. Again, she and I get along wonderfully. It's just her Dad that I have issues with.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


kimberfree

Junior Member
Sorry--I felt this was a completely different question... other thread dealt with whether the father could dictate who raises his daughter after he dies. This questions was about whether a family member could be given custody over the biological mother, if there's an issue regarding "fitness."

I'll move it, if you like, but I doubt it'd get looked at again, since it has already tracked down the list pretty far, and the title of that thread doesn't address this question.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Sorry--I felt this was a completely different question... other thread dealt with whether the father could dictate who raises his daughter after he dies. This questions was about whether a family member could be given custody over the biological mother, if there's an issue regarding "fitness."

I'll move it, if you like, but I doubt it'd get looked at again, since it has already tracked down the list pretty far, and the title of that thread doesn't address this question.
It will bump up to the top when you add the new post.
 

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