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Father fighting for custody

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bribaby1105

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MD

I will try to summarize the situation as best as possible.

My daughter is 9 yrs old. Her mother and I were never married, we broke up when my daughter was 3. There were never any court orders. I have ALWAYS been involved with weekend visitations and such. In 2005 she lived with me for 6 months while her mother joined the military. In January 2009, her mother called and asked if our daughter could live with me while she "got herself together", but never elaborated. I was so happy that I didn't ask many questions. My ex and I have not always been able to be civil, it's more of a roller coaster. She remained with me until July 2009. After coming back from vacation (my wife, my daughter, and my 2 other children with my wife all went), her mother asked if she could pick up our daughter from summer school (she needs extra help since she has some learning disabilities). I agreed to this since our daughter was spending some more time with her mother since it was summer. I also anticipated my daughters return. During the school year she saw her every weekened. Getting to the point, On July 23 I dropped my daughter off at school and have not seen her since. Her mother picked her up and refuses to allow me to see her and says that she wants to take her back; she also didn't let her finish summer school. Instead of getting into every detail, I will just say that her living situation has not changed since January. She is unemployed and lives with her father and his son. My daughter has no place to sleep, except for the living room with her mother and half-sister. I have a 3 bedroom house where she shares a room with her 4 yr old half-sister. I have filed for custody in my county, and she filed for custody in her county. We are waiting for the court hearing, neither one of us has an attorney. I think it would be in my daughters best interest to remain with me because I can provide stability (mother moved 4 times in 2 yrs), her mother has been involved in abusive relationships where my daughter had to call 911 (I have records of this), I believe that I prioritze her education more (while with her mother she missed 16.5 days on school year, and 11 during the first half of this past school year before I got her), I am able to provide better since I have been in the same line of work for 15 yrs and her mother has been unemployed for over 2 yrs. Basically, do I have chance? My biggest worry is that because her mother physically has our daughter the judge will be reluctant to make her give our daughter back to me. Any help / advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!!
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MD

I will try to summarize the situation as best as possible.

My daughter is 9 yrs old. Her mother and I were never married, we broke up when my daughter was 3. There were never any court orders. I have ALWAYS been involved with weekend visitations and such. In 2005 she lived with me for 6 months while her mother joined the military. In January 2009, her mother called and asked if our daughter could live with me while she "got herself together", but never elaborated. I was so happy that I didn't ask many questions. My ex and I have not always been able to be civil, it's more of a roller coaster. She remained with me until July 2009. After coming back from vacation (my wife, my daughter, and my 2 other children with my wife all went), her mother asked if she could pick up our daughter from summer school (she needs extra help since she has some learning disabilities). I agreed to this since our daughter was spending some more time with her mother since it was summer. I also anticipated my daughters return. During the school year she saw her every weekened. Getting to the point, On July 23 I dropped my daughter off at school and have not seen her since. Her mother picked her up and refuses to allow me to see her and says that she wants to take her back; she also didn't let her finish summer school. Instead of getting into every detail, I will just say that her living situation has not changed since January. She is unemployed and lives with her father and his son. My daughter has no place to sleep, except for the living room with her mother and half-sister. I have a 3 bedroom house where she shares a room with her 4 yr old half-sister. I have filed for custody in my county, and she filed for custody in her county. We are waiting for the court hearing, neither one of us has an attorney. I think it would be in my daughters best interest to remain with me because I can provide stability (mother moved 4 times in 2 yrs), her mother has been involved in abusive relationships where my daughter had to call 911 (I have records of this), I believe that I prioritze her education more (while with her mother she missed 16.5 days on school year, and 11 during the first half of this past school year before I got her), I am able to provide better since I have been in the same line of work for 15 yrs and her mother has been unemployed for over 2 yrs. Basically, do I have chance? My biggest worry is that because her mother physically has our daughter the judge will be reluctant to make her give our daughter back to me. Any help / advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!!
Yes, you do have a more than reasonable chance at custody - but nobody can really predict how it will actually be decided. Honestly, try and get the money together for an attorney - it'll be worth every cent.

Is Mom still military btw? (this might be important)
 

bribaby1105

Junior Member
I believe that she is still technically in the military, she enlisted in 2004 and signed for 8 yrs. However, she is part of the national guard and I know she was in trouble with them because she was not doing her weekends and such. A part of me wants to just go and try to pick up my daughter, but I know that she will most likely slam the door in my face. I really don't want to cause a big scene in front of my daughter. I call and speak with my daughter on a regular basis as well and I asked her when I was going to see her, she said "you have to ask my mom"....VERY frustrating!!
 

bribaby1105

Junior Member
ok, so besides telling me what not to do, can you answer my question? Does anyone know what type of evidence I am allowed to bring with me to the first hearing?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
ok, so besides telling me what not to do, can you answer my question? Does anyone know what type of evidence I am allowed to bring with me to the first hearing?
Your question was answered and your question was if you have a chance.

What type of hearing is the first hearing? Have you read the rules of evidence, local rules and the rules of civil procedure. If not, go read those rules and then come back and ask questions.
 

bribaby1105

Junior Member
Well, I am not really sure what type of hearing it will be. I just filed an answer to her petition last week, and she hasn't answered my petition yet. I am going to call around to attorneys tomorrow hoping I can find someone. I have searched around about the evidence but didn't really have much luck, maybe I am not looking in the right places, not sure. Also, about the mother being in the military, does that usually have a good or bad effect? Just curious since someone had asked me that question. Thanks to everyone for their replies!
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Well, I am not really sure what type of hearing it will be. I just filed an answer to her petition last week, and she hasn't answered my petition yet. I am going to call around to attorneys tomorrow hoping I can find someone. I have searched around about the evidence but didn't really have much luck, maybe I am not looking in the right places, not sure. Also, about the mother being in the military, does that usually have a good or bad effect? Just curious since someone had asked me that question. Thanks to everyone for their replies!
Because parents in the military have certain protections when it comes to family law matters but as long as she's not deployed they generally won't come into play.
 

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