• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Father fighting custody against neglective mother

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Searon

Junior Member
What is the name of your state ? - Washington State.

I am a father of a 4 month old son. I usually go to work everyday in the morning, and come over during the afternoon to my wife and son, and nothing is done. She doesn't clean, do the dishes, laundry, all she does is sit down all day watching TV or on the computer. When I am home she does not take care of my son, she always has me do it. Every morning I get woken up by my son before work and I take care of him and wake my wife up to breastfeed because he's hungry and she won't wake up. I'm told by my roomates that while I'm at work this happens where she doesn't wake up to care for him, letting him scream for 30-40 minutes before finally waking up, only then to place him on her breast and fall back to sleep. They have had to wake her up on several occasions. I've heard someone tell me that while visiting over there, how she was bragging that I'm such a good husband because I work and come home and clean the apartment, do dishes, cook, and everything else while she sits around all day. They have also seen her smoking inside with my son next to her, saying he'll be just fine. This was without my knowledge because I always have her smoke outside. Many people have witnessed her letting my son cry for 30 minutes while she is awake on the computer, outside smoking, or even inside smoking next to him, saying that it's good for his lungs and he can wait.
I have witness statements from my 2 roomates, my mother, and another who have come over and seen all of this.
I'm fighting for full custody of my son, because she doesn't take care of him, and doesn't put him first. She cares for herself, and uses him to get attention. (She got pregnant on purpose to keep me).
She has gotten drunk and stoned on several occasion, and proceeded to breastfeed our son.
On our first hearing, she addmitted that my son is no longer breastfed because he wont take her breast anymore, and that she has attempted overdosing suicide in the past.

Things are looking pretty good on my side, but it's still hard for a father to get full custody against a mother, even one so neglectant towards her own son I am told. Any advice you could give me would be appriciated,
Searon
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state ? - Washington State.

I am a father of a 4 month old son. I usually go to work everyday in the morning, and come over during the afternoon to my wife and son, and nothing is done. She doesn't clean, do the dishes, laundry, all she does is sit down all day watching TV or on the computer. When I am home she does not take care of my son, she always has me do it. Every morning I get woken up by my son before work and I take care of him and wake my wife up to breastfeed because he's hungry and she won't wake up. I'm told by my roomates that while I'm at work this happens where she doesn't wake up to care for him, letting him scream for 30-40 minutes before finally waking up, only then to place him on her breast and fall back to sleep. They have had to wake her up on several occasions. I've heard someone tell me that while visiting over there, how she was bragging that I'm such a good husband because I work and come home and clean the apartment, do dishes, cook, and everything else while she sits around all day. They have also seen her smoking inside with my son next to her, saying he'll be just fine. This was without my knowledge because I always have her smoke outside. Many people have witnessed her letting my son cry for 30 minutes while she is awake on the computer, outside smoking, or even inside smoking next to him, saying that it's good for his lungs and he can wait.
I have witness statements from my 2 roomates, my mother, and another who have come over and seen all of this.
I'm fighting for full custody of my son, because she doesn't take care of him, and doesn't put him first. She cares for herself, and uses him to get attention. (She got pregnant on purpose to keep me).
She has gotten drunk and stoned on several occasion, and proceeded to breastfeed our son.
On our first hearing, she addmitted that my son is no longer breastfed because he wont take her breast anymore, and that she has attempted overdosing suicide in the past.

Things are looking pretty good on my side, but it's still hard for a father to get full custody against a mother, even one so neglectant towards her own son I am told. Any advice you could give me would be appriciated,
Searon
You think you look good? What have YOU done to help your child? The child needs to be placed with ADULTS that know how to care for a child. Neither you or the mother fit that description.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Your wife is so neglectful and yet you have left your son with her? That makes you neglectful as well. You understand that right?
 

Searon

Junior Member
I take care of him while I'm home, and I have to work to be able to keep our apartment, because my wife refused to work. I told my wife she needs to start taking care of the apartment and everything while I'm at work or she needs to leave, so she packed all of her stuff and left. My son is the most important thing/person in my life, and I'm sick of her not acting responsible as a parent or wife.
You are misunderstanding, I'm taking care of him all the time, except when I'm at work and she is a stay at home mother, her last 5 jobs she's quit or got fired from. I can't get her to work so I have to in order to support us. She sleeps all day and wakes up in afternoon, watches tv and etc. I have done everything I can to get her to care and do stuff for the family, but nothing worked so I told her she needs to do something or get out, so she left with my son, and I'm fighting for custody because she can't take care of our child. She never gives him baths, I always do. I do everything I can for the interest of my son because he is my #1 priority, unlike her whom only herself is her priority.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I take care of him while I'm home, and I have to work to be able to keep our apartment, because my wife refused to work. I told my wife she needs to start taking care of the apartment and everything while I'm at work or she needs to leave, so she packed all of her stuff and left. My son is the most important thing/person in my life, and I'm sick of her not acting responsible as a parent or wife.
You are misunderstanding, I'm taking care of him all the time, except when I'm at work and she is a stay at home mother, her last 5 jobs she's quit or got fired from. I can't get her to work so I have to in order to support us. She sleeps all day and wakes up in afternoon, watches tv and etc. I have done everything I can to get her to care and do stuff for the family, but nothing worked so I told her she needs to do something or get out, so she left with my son, and I'm fighting for custody because she can't take care of our child. She never gives him baths, I always do. I do everything I can for the interest of my son because he is my #1 priority, unlike her whom only herself is her priority.
No. YOU do NOT understand. If your wife is neglectful and you feel that she is not properly caring for your son then you put him in daycare to make sure he is safe while you are working. You do not get to state that she is neglectful and how horrible she is and yet still state that you leave your dear beloved son with her while you are at work.

And quite frankly you do not KNOW what she does. Has she ever been to see a psychologist by the way? Or the family doctor to see if she is depressed?
 

Isis1

Senior Member
personally, i'd never take the word of his mother. especially from my own experience, experiences of others, and on this forum.
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
What is the name of your state ? - Washington State.

I am a father of a 4 month old son. I usually go to work everyday in the morning, and come over during the afternoon to my wife and son, and nothing is done. She doesn't clean, do the dishes, laundry, all she does is sit down all day watching TV or on the computer. When I am home she does not take care of my son, she always has me do it. Every morning I get woken up by my son before work and I take care of him and wake my wife up to breastfeed because he's hungry and she won't wake up. I'm told by my roomates that while I'm at work this happens where she doesn't wake up to care for him, letting him scream for 30-40 minutes before finally waking up, only then to place him on her breast and fall back to sleep. They have had to wake her up on several occasions. I've heard someone tell me that while visiting over there, how she was bragging that I'm such a good husband because I work and come home and clean the apartment, do dishes, cook, and everything else while she sits around all day. They have also seen her smoking inside with my son next to her, saying he'll be just fine. This was without my knowledge because I always have her smoke outside. Many people have witnessed her letting my son cry for 30 minutes while she is awake on the computer, outside smoking, or even inside smoking next to him, saying that it's good for his lungs and he can wait.
I have witness statements from my 2 roomates, my mother, and another who have come over and seen all of this.
I'm fighting for full custody of my son, because she doesn't take care of him, and doesn't put him first. She cares for herself, and uses him to get attention. (She got pregnant on purpose to keep me).
She has gotten drunk and stoned on several occasion, and proceeded to breastfeed our son.
On our first hearing, she addmitted that my son is no longer breastfed because he wont take her breast anymore, and that she has attempted overdosing suicide in the past.

Things are looking pretty good on my side, but it's still hard for a father to get full custody against a mother, even one so neglectant towards her own son I am told. Any advice you could give me would be appriciated,
Searon
I would question ALL these "witnesses," for allowing your son to be "abused" and them just sitting around and doing nothing about it. Don't they tell mom anything? They just sit back and laugh? What??? Those are some pretty crappy people in your life if they allow this.

If mom is as bad as you say, where is son now?

Why have you allowed her to take care of the child while you're gone? Why don't you get day care?

Have you filed for divorce? Have you filed anything?

What do you mean, looking good on your side? I think it looks totally crappy on both sides for your son. Get the child taken care of.
 

CJane

Senior Member
So mom's a crappy housekeeper. That does not equal neglect.

Mom smokes around your son. That does not equal neglect.

Mom lets the child cry sometimes. That does not equal neglect.

Mom sometimes sleeps while the child is breastfeeding. That does not equal neglect.

Mom doesn't wake up to breastfeed the child. Yet you state that Mom is no longer breastfeeding.

There are apparently other adults in the house w/mom during the day, yes? Gonna be hard to prove Mom neglectful if she can say "I took a nap while Sally kept an ear out for Kiddo."

Who is Mom staying with?
 

mandik

Member
But...would breastfeeding while drunk or stoned be neglect or abuse if the baby is injesting alcohol/drugs?
 

Isis1

Senior Member
Izzy, OP already stated that the baby was no longer breastfed....I'm not sure there's anything to find.
i have a tendency to be on the suspicious side... mom "said" she was no longer breastfeeding in court. i'd test the baby. but then again, i'm not one to wait for several months to go by either....

but dad is still at fault for leaving the helpless infant on a daily basis in the care of this horrible horrible woman. :rolleyes:
 

Rushia

Senior Member
i have a tendency to be on the suspicious side... mom "said" she was no longer breastfeeding in court. i'd test the baby. but then again, i'm not one to wait for several months to go by either....

but dad is still at fault for leaving the helpless infant on a daily basis in the care of this horrible horrible woman. :rolleyes:
Remember one of our mottos.....What PROOF does he have?
 

CJane

Senior Member
But...would breastfeeding while drunk or stoned be neglect or abuse if the baby is injesting alcohol/drugs?
Drinking and breastfeeding? No. Smoking cigarettes and breastfeeding? No. Smoking CRACK and breastfeeding? Maybe. But only maybe. And only if Dad can PROVE IT and then PROVE that HE did not CONTRIBUTE to the neglect.

So, Dad needs to show that he either had NO IDEA it happened or PROVE that he got the child out of the 'horrible' situation THE MINUTE he became aware of it.

He didn't. Which means HE is guilty of neglect if mom is.
 

Searon

Junior Member
As for the reason of why nothing was done, is most of this stuff I had not known about until during the last few days before seperated or after we did. That's what was causing conflicts. Like her not waking up for our son 20-40 minutes everyday while I'm working. I did not know about that until a few days before we seperated. I have a lawyer, and am filing papers, should be done within the next day or so. Then get another court date.
She is implying that I harm the child and her, which is false, getting a protection order against her. that way she doesn't have to be around me, and trying to keep my son away from me.

so no, im not at fault for him being neglected. i knew she wasn't the best mother, but the fact that this was what happened, i had no idea it was that bad until this stuff started going down.

i knew that everyday i get off from work, i take care of my son. i tend to his needs. every morning i wake up to give him to her so she could breastfeed. and she only stopped breastfeeding completely after she left.

sorry for not being as clear before, but for a perfect clear story of what's been going on would be a very long topic.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top