Father gone for two years, given up rights?

[crymat]

OKAY RADDADTHOMAS!

Okay you too! First of all I would like to point out way bugaboo stated. PARENT ALIENATION!! My child has not seen his father in almost 2 years. Has no memory at all of his father. I am not the one who is ALIENATING the child.
Yes, there is another daddy in situation. My husband has been with my son for 2 years. Yes, when my son is old enough to understand that his biological father is a alcohlic, drug abuser, and has anger management issues (no he has never abused myself or the child) I will let him know.
Also, people are right. I have no idea how the laws work. That is why I came to this website and posted this. I was looking for some help. Those who have told me the issues for Termination of Parental Rights, I thank you. You have helped me with the issue I was questioning.

 

[crymat]

hexeliebe

Thank you for understand I was just asking a question. I want the best for my son.

 

[crymat]

Just a Note!

Okay, I will admit I do not know how the legal system works. About the father paying his child support, yes he pays, but only because it is garnished from his UMEMPLOYMENT CHECK each week. He quite his job when the court papers were filed saying he needed to pay.

 

[bugaboo]

Crymat...I'm just curious...And please don't take offense...I'm sure you can understand my curiosity. You want to Terminate HIS parental rights, right..? If that is the case are YOU willing to Terminate CHILD SUPPORT? I'd just like to know where you stand on that issue. You stated that there's a "new dad" in the pict...so if that's the case, would you give up the money? If that were the ONLY way you could get his rights terminated, would you give up the money? I'm just wondering...I've always wanted to ask a mother in your situation that question, and I hope you'll be able to answer HONESTLY.

Thanks~Bug..

 

[tigger22472]

Hey Bug.. although I'm not the OP I'll kind of answer your question a bit. And I will state right off that I'm not for terminating everyone's rights without just cause(I've heard your case) because everyone is different. My ex owes over $19,000 in support. The last time I got support was for 3 weeks the end of 2001 after I finally found out where he worked and CSE took it out. He'd worked there for a year and suddenly got fired or quit 3 weeks later(whole other story). I did at one time receive the support through Unemployment(for 2 weeks woohoo). So obviously I can live without and and have. However, honestly if a judge told me I HAD to write all $19,13573 of arrearage off in order to have my current husband adopt I wouldn't think twice. My children have been emotionally harmed by their dad and one of my biggest fears is that if I were to die this man would get them. So, yes in my case I would write it all off. My husband supports my children 100% why shouldn't he have some rights?

As I said I know your case is different and I also see your point.. there are several women and yes I did say women because we are the "greedy bitches" that are only after the money. I can't say the OP is because I don't know.

 

[ktarra617]

i would right off the money in a heart beat!!!!

there's no thinking about it...I wouldn't even bat an eyelash when the judge asked me if I was willing to give up the money. My answer would be a quick "yes, sir!"

 

[haiku]

my ex ASKED to have his rights terminated, when he realized I was no longer going to jump through hoops for him. there was one catch though...he required I 'sign off" on all past due and future support.

I did so, and to this day, I feel like he 'sold" his kid to my husband.

That being said, I do think if you terminate rights, that should end support. my husbands ex at one point on her ever continuing CP power trip, wanted my husband to give up his rights and pay MORE support! yeah....aside from my husband, a TRUE father nearly dying and being hospitalized for heartbreak, and coming THIS close...no f-in way! True dads DON'T give up the fight.

I do think not alot of people who come here, put much thought into how SAD it really is to do this. they don't se the big picture. No matter how joyful the outcome is. no matter what a jerk the bio-dad is. I know my husband is the true father to my child, but how sad that her "real" father wanted no part of her. we still have to face telling her in the future, and we hope we do it well.

 

[ktarra617]

it is truly sad but there are people out there men and women who don't really want to be burdened with their children. My ex is one of them. He wants all the benefits of having our daughter around, the ability to show her off and take credit for raising her and in general playing daddy when he feels the need to which is once every few months or so....

he doesn't even see her on any kind of regular basis...my husband has been more of a father to my daughter than my ex has. He does his best to show her the difference between right and wrong, teach her morals, helps take care of her when she's sick, provides everything she needs. On top of that my husband also pays child support to his ex wife for his daughter that she refuses to allow him to see more than the court orders tell her she must....

I don't see what right my ex has to maintain his rights when he does absolutely nothing for her, either emotionally or financially..

That being said I understand that he does have rights and if the court agrees with him, I will have to abide the court order and live with it.....it just sucks that the system seems to penalize those who do actually work and support themselves and do what they are supposed to do ie:support their children....

and the same system says oh well you are too poor, here you don't have to do much.....

 

[crymat]

Bugaboo

When I first posted here a few days ago I had no idea what I really wanted. I thinkI stated what I really wanted wrong. I want my child when he is old enough to understand what has happened over the last 4 years to make a decision to see his biological father or not. Right now what I am looking for is the sole legal custody. Right now the bio and I have joint legal - I don't like that. Since the father is nowhere around I want the ability to make a decision for my son. Yes, if the father were to come back and say that he wants to be in this child's life and that he wants to see him. I would be fine with that. However, that is the problem. He won't do that. So I need to be able legally to make decisions for my son's best interest. The money is not the big picture. I am not greedy and I am not looking to get rich of the bio. That is why I have not mentioned money. It is not what matters in this situation. What matters is this child.

 

[crymat]

Tigger

Aren't we "greedy bitches" horrible?

Why don't the men understand that we are thinking about our children not getting rich?

 

[tigger22472]

Because in reality there are plenty of greedy bitches out there. I've seen more cases then I can count of woman only using a guy for a child and the money they are to support them with. However, I'm not one of them and my ex thinks that by not paying his support he is hurting me. He's been told a million times support and visitation are separate and yet doesn't contact the kids which again hurts them.. THEY are the only ones that get hurt. My children are more stable now then they ever have been.

 

[crymat]

You are so right. Children bring us all here to this site and together we should all be here for them. Not to better ourselves, but to protect them.

 

[dakoto70]

Terminating rights

I read this board and decided to ask my own question. If after almost twelve years of the bio dad not having anything to do with his child, do I still need someone willing to adopt my son before I can try to terminate bio-dads rights? How do I go about it if I can without an adoption taking place?

 

[tigger22472]

Firstly.. I think I saw your question in another thread and it should be answered there. If it's not then you should start one. It is thought to be rude to "hijack" someone else's post. However. the answer to your question is yes. No matter how long it's been someone needs to be willing to adopt before rights can be terminated.

 

[Grace_Adler]

It is not nessecary for adoption to occur in all cases. BCB explains it well in this thread.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?threadid=133132&highlight=termination+of+parental+rights

I really think the thread above needs a bump.