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  1. #1
    soontobeGrandma is offline Junior Member
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    father is illegal immigrant

    What is the name of your state?
    Virginia
    My unwed daughter will soon have a baby. The father is an illegal immigrant. Does she automatically have full custody? Does it matter if they live together or if they live separately? What custody rights does the father have if they live together and if they live separately? Does she have to file court papers to get full custody?
  2. #2
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by soontobeGrandma
    What is the name of your state?
    Virginia
    My unwed daughter will soon have a baby. The father is an illegal immigrant. Does she automatically have full custody? Does it matter if they live together or if they live separately? What custody rights does the father have if they live together and if they live separately? Does she have to file court papers to get full custody?
    In VA, once he is found to be the legal father, then he has equal rights to mom until a judge says otherwise...whether they live together or not.

    In VA, if he is put on the birth certificate and they sign the paternity affidavit at the hospital he is considered to be the legal father.

    If she doesn't want him to have equal legal rights (and in this particular situation its perhaps better if he doesn't) then she shouldn't allow him to sign paperwork at the hospital. (its her option)
  3. #3
    soontobeGrandma is offline Junior Member
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    Why shouldn't he have equal rights?

    Why do you say it might be better if he does not have equal rights? What might happen if he has legal rights? What might happen if she does not allow him to sign the papers at the hospital?
  4. #4
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by soontobeGrandma
    Why do you say it might be better if he does not have equal rights? What might happen if he has legal rights? What might happen if she does not allow him to sign the papers at the hospital?
    Well...him taking off with the child to his home country is one possibility if he is the legal father and has equal rights...or disappearing with the child and be untraceable.

    If she doesn't alow him to sign the papers at the hospital (or otherwise establish paternity) then she can't collect child support...which might be unlikely anyway due to his status....and he would be unlikely to initiate paternity proceedings...again due to his status.
  5. #5
    soontobeGrandma is offline Junior Member
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    not concerned about collecting child support

    She is not concerned about collecting child support. She knows that I will help her support the child. So, I understand you are saying that if she lets him sign the papers, he will establish paternity, and have equal legal rights. Then he could take the child away from this country, and she might be unable to trace him or to find her child. She seems to love him, and he wants to establish paternity. What else can I tell her might happen if she allows him to establish paternity?
  6. #6
    Whyte Noise is offline Senior Member
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    Paternity doesn't have to be established for someone to "take off" with their child. (Your daughter could do the same thing, you know)

    Paternity doesn't have to be established for someone to leave the country with their child. (Your daughter could do the same thing, you know) You don't even have to BE from another country to take off with your child to another country.

    Establishing paternity solidifes his rights as well as some of the child's (child support, visitation, custody, etc.).

    What might happen if she allows him to establish paternity? The child will have a legal father, the father will have certain rights (whether illegal or not), the child will have certain rights to the father as well (inheritance, SS, etc.) and believe it or not, he may not go jumping back across the border.

    What might happen if she doesn't put him on the birth certificate? Uhm.. falsifying a legal document.
  7. #7
    AHA
    AHA is offline Senior Member
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    If he is willing to be a participating father to his child, then let him be that. The child deserves both parents.
    He will not become legal in the US just by having a USC child, so my biggest woory would be how he will be able to financially support his child?
    It is HIS and the mother's duty to do that, NOT THE GRANDMOTHER's!!

    By being here illegally, he is also risking being found and deported, and the child losing it's father!

    What a possible messy childhood this kid could be heading towards.
  8. #8
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissouriGal
    Paternity doesn't have to be established for someone to "take off" with their child. (Your daughter could do the same thing, you know)

    Paternity doesn't have to be established for someone to leave the country with their child. (Your daughter could do the same thing, you know) You don't even have to BE from another country to take off with your child to another country.
    Actually...that isn't accurate....unless of course he were to smuggle himself and the child back into his own country...which is a bit unimaginable....there are not too many smuggling rings providing "reverse" services. He can't get a passport for the child from his own country without proving paternity.....and he can't easily cross the border (even more so with the new rules going into place) without some proof that he is traveling with his own child...and eventually without a passport he won't be able to do it...period.

    He can still take off with the child within the US...but without paternity being established getting an amber alert going would be more feasible.

    Its just plain messy. The odds of him eventually getting deported are increasing every day (unless the government does another general amnesty...which could happen).
  9. #9
    MaxinesMom is offline Junior Member
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    wow, what a contradictive world we live in! An illegal alien can establish paternity in VA (which is where I live and am trying to move out of) by signing the birth certificate (whatever happened to the old fashion blood tests to prove paternity??), even though they are not married (my understanding in VA is this, of course, I just went through this part....if a couple is married, then the father signs the birth certificate without any blood work, etc. being done, because it's automatically assumed he is the father, but if your two single people having a child, paternity has to be established before the father signs the birth certificate!), and then can take the child out of the country or state (which I know makes it difficult for him to do much with claiming the child as his without proof, but everyday, people are finding new ways around all of the "paper trails", like false birth certificates, etc), and the illegal alien is told he has 50/50 rights to the child. But yet, I have an ex who has not been exercising his visitation rights (he lives just about 10 minutes away right now and doesn't come to get her!!!), and has had to have his wages garnished for child support becasue he wouldn't willingly pay it on his own, is causing me major heartache lying in court just to try and get custody of our child who he doesn't show any interest in (to me, he's being so difficult because he's hoping to get out of paying child/spousal support, although he's making over $14.00 an hour and I make minimum wage), and I'm not allowed to leave the state and go back to where my family is (and my ex knows where that is), which offers better paying jobs, I have extended family to offer child care, etc, and not to mention that my oldest child is suffering from depression from all of this and is on medication because he misses our home state/family, and I'm being threatened with the possibility of criminal charges against me if I move without proper permission. Our country really is screwed up if we're going to give illegal aliens (he knew he was illegal and what, is hoping he can get citizenship by hooking up with someone in the states and having a child with them??) the same rights, if not more, and actually born citizens of this country have to go through hell! Wow, the US is becoming more and more communist everyday! Does she even know anything about him, where he's from, family names, addresses, has he (or could he still be) been married before, does he have other kids, and if so, where are they? etc, all possible places he could go if he were to run with the child (I never thought I would be going through any of this myself when we first got married!!!), and to make sure he is true to his "fatherly rights", has he applied for citizenship, or is he still hanging to those "old time" rules, where people come here from other countries and marry someone, with the hopes of that getting them a green card? How long has she known him, and is she prepared to possibly face the inevitable, that one day he could be deported? He can't establish paternity through blood tests if he's "hiding" from being deported, and they can't get married nowadays without going through alot of red tape (I had a friend a few years ago who wanted to marry someone from england who was here on a visa, and she had to prove that she had known him for a VERY long time, and they were told that they would have to be married for so many years (it was either 5 or 7 years) before he would be granted his cits!). If I were her, even though she may love him, I would contact an attorney in a descreet manner (because if she is harboring an illegal alien, she can get herself into trouble!), and make sure that her child's and her's rights are protected, and him, well, if he's wanting to a true father to his child, he will apply for his cits and do it all the right way, after all, once he is a citizen, then he can establish paternity of the child and go from there for other rights. After all, if he's "hiding" now, how can you be sure that he would be a continuous support for this child later, after all, if he has to run from being deported, he will be thinking of himself, I doubt her and the child will be on his mind, unless he tries to talk her into going with him!
  10. #10
    AHA
    AHA is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaxinesMom
    wow, what a contradictive world we live in! An illegal alien can establish paternity in VA (which is where I live and am trying to move out of) by signing the birth certificate (whatever happened to the old fashion blood tests to prove paternity??), even though they are not married (my understanding in VA is this, of course, I just went through this part....if a couple is married, then the father signs the birth certificate without any blood work, etc. being done, because it's automatically assumed he is the father, but if your two single people having a child, paternity has to be established before the father signs the birth certificate!), and then can take the child out of the country or state (which I know makes it difficult for him to do much with claiming the child as his without proof, but everyday, people are finding new ways around all of the "paper trails", like false birth certificates, etc), and the illegal alien is told he has 50/50 rights to the child. But yet, I have an ex who has not been exercising his visitation rights (he lives just about 10 minutes away right now and doesn't come to get her!!!), and has had to have his wages garnished for child support becasue he wouldn't willingly pay it on his own, is causing me major heartache lying in court just to try and get custody of our child who he doesn't show any interest in (to me, he's being so difficult because he's hoping to get out of paying child/spousal support, although he's making over $14.00 an hour and I make minimum wage), and I'm not allowed to leave the state and go back to where my family is (and my ex knows where that is), which offers better paying jobs, I have extended family to offer child care, etc, and not to mention that my oldest child is suffering from depression from all of this and is on medication because he misses our home state/family, and I'm being threatened with the possibility of criminal charges against me if I move without proper permission. Our country really is screwed up if we're going to give illegal aliens (he knew he was illegal and what, is hoping he can get citizenship by hooking up with someone in the states and having a child with them??) the same rights, if not more, and actually born citizens of this country have to go through hell! Wow, the US is becoming more and more communist everyday! Does she even know anything about him, where he's from, family names, addresses, has he (or could he still be) been married before, does he have other kids, and if so, where are they? etc, all possible places he could go if he were to run with the child (I never thought I would be going through any of this myself when we first got married!!!), and to make sure he is true to his "fatherly rights", has he applied for citizenship, or is he still hanging to those "old time" rules, where people come here from other countries and marry someone, with the hopes of that getting them a green card? How long has she known him, and is she prepared to possibly face the inevitable, that one day he could be deported? He can't establish paternity through blood tests if he's "hiding" from being deported, and they can't get married nowadays without going through alot of red tape (I had a friend a few years ago who wanted to marry someone from england who was here on a visa, and she had to prove that she had known him for a VERY long time, and they were told that they would have to be married for so many years (it was either 5 or 7 years) before he would be granted his cits!). If I were her, even though she may love him, I would contact an attorney in a descreet manner (because if she is harboring an illegal alien, she can get herself into trouble!), and make sure that her child's and her's rights are protected, and him, well, if he's wanting to a true father to his child, he will apply for his cits and do it all the right way, after all, once he is a citizen, then he can establish paternity of the child and go from there for other rights. After all, if he's "hiding" now, how can you be sure that he would be a continuous support for this child later, after all, if he has to run from being deported, he will be thinking of himself, I doubt her and the child will be on his mind, unless he tries to talk her into going with him!
    The illegals are here because they can. They can still crawl across the border, they can still fool an immigration officer at the airport etc etc. The government doesn't have the resources or interest in hunting down illegals and shipping them out of here, so that's how this country stands. It's up to each US citizen to watch out for who they get involved with and be ready for the consequences.
    Welcome to the US of A.
  11. #11
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    People also come here illegally because they get tired waiting to churn through the proper channels.

    Example: my husband is not only a LEGAL immigrant, but a NATURALIZED citizen. His ex chucked a lot of his old papers, including his naturalization file. We applied in 1996 for a copy of his naturalization papers. Almost TEN YEARS later, and many contacts with our state senator's office, they still can't get the old INS, now DHS, etc, to generate just a COPY for his records- and for our daughter. Evidentally the rat infested warehouse in Brooklyn where the records were stored is too hard to find anything old in, so they simply aren't bothering.

    No wonder people give up on going through the legal channels to get here! The immigration authorities can't even handle generating a mere COPY of a naturalization for a citizen for ten years- what would one expect them to do on behalf of non-citizens?
  12. #12
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    And let's not forget that illegals will do many of the jobs we all take for granted but wouldn't be caught dead doing because they are (a) too demeaning and (b) don't pay enough. Frankly, our economy would grind to a halt w/o them.

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