Father keeping child from mother

[ashleyj312]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania
Im 22 years old and i left my sons father over a year ago, we agreed not to go to court and that we would divide our time with our son equally, and whenever we werent working. It was fine and we never had a problem, after i lost my job i had our son 90% of the time. He rarely bothered to see him. I ended up having to move back in with him until i found another job, after i did i moved out and got a new apartment, things were fine and then he took him one weekend saying he would bring him back the following monday before he went to work. He never showed, I called and texted him several times and he would not answer me. I finally called the cops, and they said there was nothing they could do, so i kept calling him. He had me fined for harrassment. I didnt know what to do, and he told me if i tried taking him to court he would make sure i never saw my son again, I dont have a job right now but my fiance makes nearly 1000 dollars a week so i dont need to work right now. I also do not have a drivers license, and i have fines for driving without a license :/ He changed his phone number to keep me from contacting him, and kept me from him on his birthday and christmas, I dont do drugs, Ive never been arrested, but he seems 100% percent sure he will win full custody and wants his new girlfriend he met on facebook to adopt him. Ive started the process for taking him to court but im still scared he will win full custody, I dont want to keep him from our son at all, but i think its in his best interest for him to be with me most of the time, hes a good father but everything else comes first. He doesnt bathe him and in the past my son would scream anytime i tried to take him back to his father. I dont want to bring any of this in court because i have no proof and i dont want to badmouth him. Im wondering what kind of chances i have in court for primary ( not full) custody. Like i said i dont want to keep him from him, but i dont want him to be able to keep him from me and use him to hurt me anytime i make him mad. He to this day will not tell me why he did this. Im completely lost and confused

 

[gr8rn]

How long has it been since you've seen your child?

Have you attempted to go get your child?

Did you mention to the judge why you were calling him so many times?

 

[BL]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania
Im 22 years old and i left my sons father over a year ago, we agreed not to go to court and that we would divide our time with our son equally, and whenever we werent working. It was fine and we never had a problem, after i lost my job i had our son 90% of the time. He rarely bothered to see him. I ended up having to move back in with him until i found another job, after i did i moved out and got a new apartment, things were fine and then he took him one weekend saying he would bring him back the following monday before he went to work. He never showed, I called and texted him several times and he would not answer me. I finally called the cops, and they said there was nothing they could do, so i kept calling him. He had me fined for harrassment. I didnt know what to do, and he told me if i tried taking him to court he would make sure i never saw my son again, I dont have a job right now but my fiance makes nearly 1000 dollars a week so i dont need to work right now. I also do not have a drivers license, and i have fines for driving without a license :/ He changed his phone number to keep me from contacting him, and kept me from him on his birthday and christmas, I dont do drugs, Ive never been arrested, but he seems 100% percent sure he will win full custody and wants his new girlfriend he met on facebook to adopt him. Ive started the process for taking him to court but im still scared he will win full custody, I dont want to keep him from our son at all, but i think its in his best interest for him to be with me most of the time, hes a good father but everything else comes first. He doesnt bathe him and in the past my son would scream anytime i tried to take him back to his father. I dont want to bring any of this in court because i have no proof and i dont want to badmouth him. Im wondering what kind of chances i have in court for primary ( not full) custody. Like i said i dont want to keep him from him, but i dont want him to be able to keep him from me and use him to hurt me anytime i make him mad. He to this day will not tell me why he did this. Im completely lost and confused

Unless the court finds you unfit , you will retain your parental rights.

You will have to let the court decide .

On a final note, why should you not work ?

The child is yours and both parents should be supporting their child(ren).

It's not fair for another man to foot your way for the child.

 

[ashleyj312]

Hes basically hiding him from me, he stopped taking him to our babysitter, I cant exactly show up as his house and demand him since we did not go to court custody, as long as he's with him he doesn't have to give him to me, and I know if I do it will cause some arguing and I don't need my son to see that. I'm going to court to fight the harrassment charge, but I don't know how to prove that's why I was calling him, the cell phone I had at the time with the text messages is broken so I cant really show them to the judge, I'm just hoping I can tell him what was going on and hell let it go.

Also he's not " footing my bill " and I live in a very small town, there aren't many businesses here and me not having a license, I don't want to drive, and he doesn't want me to either, so I stay home and take care of the house until something opens up here in town, or until I can get it.

 

[ashleyj312]

Basically I'm afraid I will look unstable, it has been hectic since I left him and I moved a few times, he kept everything, I paid all the bills and bought the food and everything for my son his clothes, even our furniture which I got from a rent to own thing, and he wouldn't let me take anything, before I moved out he stole most of the money out of my bank account by takeing my bank card while I was sleeping. I started over with nothing and still gave him money every week and some of his bills after I moved out. I had to work so much overtime that my son was mostly at his house, and I worked second shift so I only had him during the day. He made more money than me but I figured it was only fair since our son spent more time there. He also kept the car that he made me buy because I had no license I put it in his name. So I bought a car the day I moved for a few hundred dollars. My fines got built up because I had no choice but to drive to work. After I wasnt working my son was with me all the time, then he was weird about me having him he would want to take him to the babysitter during the day instead of him being with me when I'm home? He once tried to take him from me so his girlfriend could take him somewhere. When I told him I wasn't too comfortable with his girlfriend whom he met in facebook a few weeks earlier, taking my son somewhere without him being with her, I hadn't even met her, he called me and said a lot of really horrible things , and said he'd take me to court and do whatever necessary to win sole custody and take my parental rights.

 

[BL]

Thanks for the story , now do you have any legal questions ?

Unless I missed one or more.