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the father of my 3 children seeking full custody

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latoyasia

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA


I just got a court order in the mail stating that the father of 3 of my children is seeking for full custody. We broke up in the year of 2005 and since we have broken up I have been living in PA. He lives in SC. He had won a settlement around the time of our break-up and since then has had alot of money. Since the break-up I had never went after his money or anything I always tried to make verbal agreements between us because I always been scared of him. During the years we were together he has been controlling even so when we broke up. He even helped me out with 2 of my children who wasn't his. In begining 2007 he got a house in PA in his name for me and the children to stay in. Under the conditions that nobody was allowed in the house except for me and the kids. I felt it was unfair because he had a girlfriend and a life of his own. But I wasn't allowed to have a life of my own. He would come buy me and the kids groceries and send us money thru a joint account we shared. He didnt send me alot of money just enough to get by and pay the bills. He would tell me about the trips he toke to Japan and Rome. I was happy just for me and the kids to have a roof over our head and food to eat. So even though he would hurt me make me live by rules I didnt care as long as the kids was happy. In the begining of 2009 I made a decision to stand up for myself. I had met a really nice guy and we started dating. When the father of my 3 children came down. I told him, and I refused to sleep with him. So he told me he wanted me out of his house. I refused to leave the house with the children with some type of papers.So I stayed in the house. And I filed for child support since he was no longer helping us. I am not recieving any child support because he wants a dna test for our 3 children. He came up here twice this summer the first time he came. I told him that there was a bed bug infestation in the furniture. He refused to help me with the sitiuation so I threw out the couch, and two of the kids bed. Second time he came he saw that I threw it away, he also saw my bf here. He left a few days later I recieved papers in the mail stating he wants full custody of the kids because of no furniture. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time cause he knows I am a good mother and he knows why I threw out the furniture. I cant afford a lawyer. I called a legal service they said they might not represent me because according to the court papers he is representing his self. They would only represent me if he had a lawyer. But I'm confused because he has alot of money cant he just show up with his lawyer he though he filled out on the papers saying he is representing his self?I always toke care of my kids, I been recieving help thru the system since he hasn't been helping anymore. I have no idea how to win against him, because of the fact he has alot of money. But he is hardly up here in PA to see the kids. I never said he couldnt see the kids. Never kept him away from the kids. So I figure he is doing this just cause I moved on and he can't have me anymore while at the having his girlfriend too. Living a double life. He knows the 3 children are his and I figure he is stalling on paying support by ordering to test just so he can win full custody and not have to pay anything. And kick me out of the house he brought me and the children at the same time. I feel just because he has alot of money and I dont doesnt make him a better parent then me. They been with me since birth and we never had any problems til I decided to stand up for myself and move on. Any Advice? On what I can do. Because I am really lost and confused at the moment. Sorry this is long story.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA


I just got a court order in the mail stating that the father of 3 of my children is seeking for full custody. We broke up in the year of 2005 and since we have broken up I have been living in PA. He lives in SC. He had won a settlement around the time of our break-up and since then has had alot of money. Since the break-up I had never went after his money or anything I always tried to make verbal agreements between us because I always been scared of him. During the years we were together he has been controlling even so when we broke up. He even helped me out with 2 of my children who wasn't his. In begining 2007 he got a house in PA in his name for me and the children to stay in. Under the conditions that nobody was allowed in the house except for me and the kids. I felt it was unfair because he had a girlfriend and a life of his own. But I wasn't allowed to have a life of my own. He would come buy me and the kids groceries and send us money thru a joint account we shared. He didnt send me alot of money just enough to get by and pay the bills. He would tell me about the trips he toke to Japan and Rome. I was happy just for me and the kids to have a roof over our head and food to eat. So even though he would hurt me make me live by rules I didnt care as long as the kids was happy. In the begining of 2009 I made a decision to stand up for myself. I had met a really nice guy and we started dating. When the father of my 3 children came down. I told him, and I refused to sleep with him. So he told me he wanted me out of his house. I refused to leave the house with the children with some type of papers.So I stayed in the house. And I filed for child support since he was no longer helping us. I am not recieving any child support because he wants a dna test for our 3 children. He came up here twice this summer the first time he came. I told him that there was a bed bug infestation in the furniture. He refused to help me with the sitiuation so I threw out the couch, and two of the kids bed. Second time he came he saw that I threw it away, he also saw my bf here. He left a few days later I recieved papers in the mail stating he wants full custody of the kids because of no furniture. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time cause he knows I am a good mother and he knows why I threw out the furniture. I cant afford a lawyer. I called a legal service they said they might not represent me because according to the court papers he is representing his self. They would only represent me if he had a lawyer. But I'm confused because he has alot of money cant he just show up with his lawyer he though he filled out on the papers saying he is representing his self?I always toke care of my kids, I been recieving help thru the system since he hasn't been helping anymore. I have no idea how to win against him, because of the fact he has alot of money. But he is hardly up here in PA to see the kids. I never said he couldnt see the kids. Never kept him away from the kids. So I figure he is doing this just cause I moved on and he can't have me anymore while at the having his girlfriend too. Living a double life. He knows the 3 children are his and I figure he is stalling on paying support by ordering to test just so he can win full custody and not have to pay anything. And kick me out of the house he brought me and the children at the same time. I feel just because he has alot of money and I dont doesnt make him a better parent then me. They been with me since birth and we never had any problems til I decided to stand up for myself and move on. Any Advice? On what I can do. Because I am really lost and confused at the moment. Sorry this is long story.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Please edit your post to include some paragraphs and "white" space (click enter a couple of times) between paragraphs.
 

thieneyes

Junior Member
I just got a court order in the mail stating that the father of 3 of my children is seeking for full custody. We broke up in the year of 2005 and since we have broken up I have been living in PA. He lives in SC.
Was the court order filed in SC or PA?

He had won a settlement around the time of our break-up and since then has had alot of money. Since the break-up I had never went after his money or anything I always tried to make verbal agreements between us because I always been scared of him. During the years we were together he has been controlling even so when we broke up.
I assume since you do not mention it that he was never proven abusive to you or the children, and no domestic violence charges were filed...

He even helped me out with 2 of my children who wasn't his. In begining 2007 he got a house in PA in his name for me and the children to stay in.
Ok, he was not REQUIRED to do either, but did so...

Under the conditions that nobody was allowed in the house except for me and the kids. I felt it was unfair because he had a girlfriend and a life of his own. But I wasn't allowed to have a life of my own.
It sounds like you knew about this from the start, but decided to accept the house anyway. You were allowed to have a life of your own, and should not have accepted this house "with strings attached".

He would come buy me and the kids groceries and send us money thru a joint account we shared. He didnt send me alot of money just enough to get by and pay the bills.
Again, as you did not file through the courts for child support, he did not LEGALLY have to do this either.

He would tell me about the trips he toke to Japan and Rome.
Were you working at all during this time? It is not his repsonsibility to fund any vacations you may want to take.

I was happy just for me and the kids to have a roof over our head and food to eat. So even though he would hurt me make me live by rules I didnt care as long as the kids was happy. In the begining of 2009 I made a decision to stand up for myself. I had met a really nice guy and we started dating. When the father of my 3 children came down. I told him, and I refused to sleep with him. So he told me he wanted me out of his house. I refused to leave the house with the children with some type of papers.So I stayed in the house.
Again legally, it is HIS house and he can file an eviction notice at any time. Is your boyfriend living in HIS house also?

And I filed for child support since he was no longer helping us. I am not recieving any child support because he wants a dna test for our 3 children.
Did the judge order that a DNA test be granted for the children? As it stands if you went to court and requested child support, and he requested a DNA test, then he is not required to pay until ordered by the judge. You do not mention what actually happened when you went to court for child support.

He came up here twice this summer the first time he came. I told him that there was a bed bug infestation in the furniture. He refused to help me with the sitiuation so I threw out the couch, and two of the kids bed.
Again, he is not LEGALLY responsible for paying for this. If there is an infestation, YOU need to get a job and pay for an exterminator.

Second time he came he saw that I threw it away, he also saw my bf here. He left a few days later I recieved papers in the mail stating he wants full custody of the kids because of no furniture.
Ok, you threw out the kids beds, did you then get an exterminator? Did you then buy the kids new beds? How much time as lapsed that the kids have been without beds?

I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time cause he knows I am a good mother and he knows why I threw out the furniture.
Yes, he knows why, but the question is why you have not bought new beds? Are the children sleeping on the floor?

I cant afford a lawyer. I called a legal service they said they might not represent me because according to the court papers he is representing his self. They would only represent me if he had a lawyer. But I'm confused because he has alot of money cant he just show up with his lawyer he though he filled out on the papers saying he is representing his self?
He would need to hire a PA lawyer, who must then file notice with the courts that they are representing him. If he were to just walk into court with a lawyer, then the judge would like give you a chance to hire a lawyer.

I always toke care of my kids, I been recieving help thru the system since he hasn't been helping anymore. I have no idea how to win against him, because of the fact he has alot of money. But he is hardly up here in PA to see the kids. I never said he couldnt see the kids. Never kept him away from the kids. So I figure he is doing this just cause I moved on and he can't have me anymore while at the having his girlfriend too. Living a double life. He knows the 3 children are his and I figure he is stalling on paying support by ordering to test just so he can win full custody and not have to pay anything.
Having paternity established does not guarantee him custody. However, the fact that the kids do not have beds and there is a bug festation in the house that you live may cause a problem. How old are the kids?

And kick me out of the house he brought me and the children at the same time.
Again, as you weren't legally married and it is HIS house, he can kick you out at any time, as long as he files the correct paperwork.

I feel just because he has alot of money and I dont doesnt make him a better parent then me. They been with me since birth and we never had any problems til I decided to stand up for myself and move on. Any Advice? On what I can do. Because I am really lost and confused at the moment. Sorry this is long story.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 

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