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  1. #1
    locu is offline Junior Member
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    Father (non-custodial) moves away

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

    In case I mess up any of the references in here, I am the step father to the child. My wife has sole custody and there is a parenting agreement; however, it does not address long distance visitation.

    I have a situation where the non-custodial father moved from Oregon to California, and now Nevada. Although the parenting agreement does not have any stipulation for long distance visitation, he is demanding the use of the "now current, 2004 revision" standard parenting agreement for the county it was filed which does have long distance verbage in it. The 2004 version is not referenced in the custody paperwork, only the earlier revision that was current at the time.

    The non-custodial father is demanding the mother pay for additional travel expenses (50% of total travel costs which involve driving and/or flying) even though he moved far away and he says he has legal advice that shows that's what he would be granted if this went to court. Sound true?

    Additionally he wants visitation according to the 2004 standard visitation plan published by the county. He says because the one attached to the custody order does not address long distance visitation and therefore is invalidated, and state law requires we follow the now current standard one. I can't find any precedent for this, sounds fishy.

    In the 2004 standard parenting plan published by the county it has crazy visitation times, such as:
    Every other Thanksgiving (2 days of travel for 3 days of visitation??)
    1 week during school in spring and fall

    I have reason to believe he's pushing this to cause the heaviest inconvenience on the mother based on her having to pay 50% of all travel expenses in order to strong-arm himself into a better position.

    Is it normal for the custodial parent to have to pay additional travel expenses if the non-custodial moves far away? In this case out of state. Or should the non-custodial then be paying a larger portion?

    My ideal visitation arrangements would be 6-7 weeks in summer, every other xmas, and every other spring break. Is there precedent in Oregon law stated somewhere that would show me I am being unreasonable, or perhaps too reasonable?

    Anybody's help/advice is greatly appreciated!!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
  2. #2
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by locu View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

    In case I mess up any of the references in here, I am the step father to the child. My wife has sole custody and there is a parenting agreement; however, it does not address long distance visitation.

    I have a situation where the non-custodial father moved from Oregon to California, and now Nevada. Although the parenting agreement does not have any stipulation for long distance visitation, he is demanding the use of the "now current, 2004 revision" standard parenting agreement for the county it was filed which does have long distance verbage in it. The 2004 version is not referenced in the custody paperwork, only the earlier revision that was current at the time.

    The non-custodial father is demanding the mother pay for additional travel expenses (50% of total travel costs which involve driving and/or flying) even though he moved far away and he says he has legal advice that shows that's what he would be granted if this went to court. Sound true?

    Additionally he wants visitation according to the 2004 standard visitation plan published by the county. He says because the one attached to the custody order does not address long distance visitation and therefore is invalidated, and state law requires we follow the now current standard one. I can't find any precedent for this, sounds fishy.

    In the 2004 standard parenting plan published by the county it has crazy visitation times, such as:
    Every other Thanksgiving (2 days of travel for 3 days of visitation??)
    1 week during school in spring and fall

    I have reason to believe he's pushing this to cause the heaviest inconvenience on the mother based on her having to pay 50% of all travel expenses in order to strong-arm himself into a better position.

    Is it normal for the custodial parent to have to pay additional travel expenses if the non-custodial moves far away? In this case out of state. Or should the non-custodial then be paying a larger portion?

    My ideal visitation arrangements would be 6-7 weeks in summer, every other xmas, and every other spring break. Is there precedent in Oregon law stated somewhere that would show me I am being unreasonable, or perhaps too reasonable?

    Anybody's help/advice is greatly appreciated!!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
    The easiest thing to do would be to have your wife take it back to court to get a long distance plan established.

    What exactly are the long distance provisions in the 2004 standard parenting plan? It would be wierd if the plan actually called for the children to miss 1 week of school each semester. However it is not at all wierd for the noncustodial parent to get Thanksgiving every other year, that is 100% standard everywhere.

    Most likely dad would be required to provide all of the costs of transportation, since he is the one who create the distance. However, in some circumstances judges do order transportation costs to be split.

    The most common long distance plan is every other Thanksgiving, one week at Christmas, every or every other Spring Break, and anywhere from 1/2 to 3/4 of the summer.
  3. #3
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    The easiest thing to do would be to have your wife take it back to court to get a long distance plan established.

    What exactly are the long distance provisions in the 2004 standard parenting plan? It would be wierd if the plan actually called for the children to miss 1 week of school each semester. However it is not at all wierd for the noncustodial parent to get Thanksgiving every other year, that is 100% standard everywhere.

    Most likely dad would be required to provide all of the costs of transportation, since he is the one who create the distance. However, in some circumstances judges do order transportation costs to be split.

    The most common long distance plan is every other Thanksgiving, one week at Christmas, every or every other Spring Break, and anywhere from 1/2 to 3/4 of the summer.
    Psst... one week at Christmas is one week during the fall semester. One week at Spring break is one week in the spring semester. Hence one week each semester of school in addition to every other Thanksgiving. Which is what the OP is upset about:
    Every other Thanksgiving (2 days of travel for 3 days of visitation??)
    1 week during school in spring and fall
    It is standard and is pretty much to be expected. The children can fly back and forth. Mom might have to pay something but most likely dad will be charged with the full amount since he moved.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  4. #4
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    Psst... one week at Christmas is one week during the fall semester. One week at Spring break is one week in the spring semester. Hence one week each semester of school in addition to every other Thanksgiving. Which is what the OP is upset about:


    It is standard and is pretty much to be expected. The children can fly back and forth. Mom might have to pay something but most likely dad will be charged with the full amount since he moved.
    Ah...I was misinterpreting what he was saying. That makes more sense.
  5. #5
    locu is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    The easiest thing to do would be to have your wife take it back to court to get a long distance plan established.

    What exactly are the long distance provisions in the 2004 standard parenting plan? It would be wierd if the plan actually called for the children to miss 1 week of school each semester. However it is not at all wierd for the noncustodial parent to get Thanksgiving every other year, that is 100% standard everywhere.

    Most likely dad would be required to provide all of the costs of transportation, since he is the one who create the distance. However, in some circumstances judges do order transportation costs to be split.

    The most common long distance plan is every other Thanksgiving, one week at Christmas, every or every other Spring Break, and anywhere from 1/2 to 3/4 of the summer.
    Thank you for the reply. Court is an option; however, considering the expense in attorney's fee's and time involved I would really prefer to resolve this outside of court if possible. We are scheduled for mediation which may help, but the father is pushing to go straight to court and skip mediation, I think as a bully tactic.

    The entire parenting plan is here for reference. This is the 2004 revision he believes applies since the previous revision did not have long distance provisions stated:
    http://www.ojd.state.or.us/LIN/home.nsf/Files/Parenting%20Plan%20(Standard%20Linn%20County).pdf/$File/Parenting%20Plan%20(Standard%20Linn%20County).pdf

    The provision I'm speaking of is as follows:
    3D-2. Long Distance: Between September 1 and December 1 of each year, one continuous seven-day period beginning at 9 a.m. on the first day and ending at 7 p.m. on the seventh day. Between February 1 and June 1 of each year, one continuous seven-day period beginning at 9 a.m. on the first day and ending at 7 p.m. on the seventh day. The seven-day periods may not be scheduled to immediately precede or immediately follow any of Parent Bs holidays named below nor may they be scheduled to interfere with any of Parent As holidays named below. Prior to August 1 each year, Parent B shall select and notify the residential parent in writing of the dates of the parenting time periods to be scheduled during the months of September through May (excluding
    December and January). If Parent B fails to provide such written notice prior to August 1, Parent A shall be entitled to designate those periods by notifying Parent B in writing by August 20.
  6. #6
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Does Oregon have a fall break time? Such as at Thanksgiving or in October? Some districts do.

    Oh and by the way, WE are not doing anything. You are not a part of this so back up about ten yards.
    Court is an option; however, considering the expense in attorney's fee's and time involved I would really prefer to resolve this outside of court if possible. We are scheduled for mediation which may help,
    And what you prefer doesn't matter.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  7. #7
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Ok...I read the whole thing.

    Its every other Thanksgiving, every other Spring Break, one week at Christmas, (rotating first and second half) and two three week blocks in the summer.

    That part is all very normal.

    However, in addition to that, it actually does say one week each semester, which unless the ncp is willing to tie it into a week where the children would have a long weekend anyway, the kids would miss a full week of school each semester.

    That's not horrendous for elementary aged children, but that could do a real number on middle or high schooler's educations. I am amazed that something like that was put together.

    Anyway, that is a total of six round trips a year, flying, and 12 round trips a year, driving.

    That is going to be expensive, for somebody. Your wife should plan to arguing heavily that she should not be financially punished for dad's decision to move so far away from his children.

    I also expect that it will end up in front of a judge, that the 2004 plan will get ordered (unless the judge believes that missing two full weeks of school a year is bad for the children and then the judge might take that out). and that odds are that dad will be ordered to provide/pay for the transportation.
  8. #8
    locu is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    Does Oregon have a fall break time? Such as at Thanksgiving or in October? Some districts do.

    Oh and by the way, WE are not doing anything. You are not a part of this so back up about ten yards.


    And what you prefer doesn't matter.
    Sorry, my wife and her X are scheduled for mediation... My wife also holds the same sentiment true that she would prefer to avoid court time and expenses if at all possible.

    The child's school does not have a fall break time, only Thanksgiving break which is Wed - Friday + weekend off school.
  9. #9
    locu is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    Ok...I read the whole thing.
    Ldij - thank you very much for your analysis and the time you put into reading the plan! I'll be printing out this thread at the end of the day and sharing it all with my wife tonight.
  10. #10
    Humusluvr is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by locu View Post
    Ldij - thank you very much for your analysis and the time you put into reading the plan! I'll be printing out this thread at the end of the day and sharing it all with my wife tonight.
    If he does decide to skip mediation and head right to court, you could always suggest to your wife that she put something in the response that he pay all attorneys fees involved with the judgment since he decided he can't mediate.

    Don't let him bully her. He just puffing up at this point.

    She can always suggest that she will be more receptive at mediation than if he drags this back to court for such an unrealistic outcome. HE MOVED. Not her. Shouldn't create a new expense for her.

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